telling your family

[leo05]

hi i was just wondering if you could give me some advice as i really want to tell my dad and siblings about how i feel but dont want to hurt them

my dad know nothing about my uncle hurting me well at least i dont think he does as i have not told him and deffinatly knows nothing about me being raped last year

my siblings know about the rape but not about my uncle as dont want them to hate me

please help if you can..............

thanks leo05 (leanne)

leanne

[LisaD]

Hi again Leanne,

Sorry, but I'm a little stumped on advice on how to tell your family...but something I noticed is that you think your siblings will hate you if you tell them???? Why do you think that???? Leanne, what happened to you was NOT YOUR FAULT! You did nothing to invite it. It is the fault of the person who did it to you, so the only person they will be angry with is HIM (as it should be!!!!!!!!)

Hope others will have additional advice!

Lisa

[leo05]

thanks but they would have wanted me to tell the as i know one of them hates my uncle but dont know why and in a way i want to know but dont at the same time as if he hurt her then i would never be able to forgive myself for letting it happen

[Alton]

If anything did happen to your sibling then you DID NOT let it happen. None of this is your fault, whether you said anything then or now - it makes no difference. If something did happen to her and she thought that she should have stopped him from hurting you - what would you say to her? No one is to blame for this and I'm sure your siblings will not be angry for not saying anything sooner but relieved that you have found the courage to do it now.

[leo05]

yeah but when your the one who is picked to care for you younger sisters then i'd take this real serious as my mum would have wanted me to protect them with my life which i'm still trying to do

[sal]

Leanne

I do feel for you as i know you want to tell them but you will also have the fact that they might not believe you playing in your mind as many do and that is only normal.

It takes great stength to come forward and the simple fact you want to speak out shows your inner strength that you are not seeing at the moment.

Only you can decide and we will support you whatever you do and you will not be alone.

My personal opinion would be to say how it was, as then you can move forward and not let it haunt you, but on the other hand you have to be strong enough to be able to take on board the people that reject you. Only you will know that and i hope you make the right choice.

But whatever dont let it haunt and if you tell or dont, try to move forward as it will make life so much more better for you as, aslong as you carry this it will effect every day of your life.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

[leo05]

thanks sal will have think about it and let you know