side effects of anxiety

[orangeblossom]

Hi everyone,

I wondered whether anyone else goes through periods where coping with anxiety and having to challenge it almost moment by moment - over the course of years and years - simply becomes just too much and you sink into an exhausted state where your mind sort of just 'flatlines' and you can't quite think properly, do anything because you are simply completely and utterly drained and exhausted...and frankly, completely and utterly miserable about it all too?

I thought I was going down with a cold or just a bit tired over the last few days, but having spent all of yesterday evening thinking about how I felt, I realised that I was actually absolutely miserable and completely and utterly fed up of everything being such a challenge... walking out of the front door, going to the shops, meeting friends... etc etc etc. It is just too much and I'd love a break!

Going on holiday would be fabulous - except, obviously, getting on a train/plane or something would be horrendous!

Perhaps I do just need a time out or something... I don't know. But I did wonder if anyone else felt like this too?

Thanks for listening,
Orange x x x

[DaveThe Snapper]

This is very familiar! In the past, before I knew what I know now I would just grit my teeth and wait for it all to subside. I have recently had a bad patch and have resorted to beta blockers which help but are no 'wonder drug'. I feel drained - almost like 'flu but without the runny nose and temperature. I am so tempted to try a hypnotherapist but wonder if I could relax enough to get any benefit!

[orangeblossom]

Those flu-like symptoms are very familiar! I even get the slightly sore throat sometimes, but think it is simply the stress tightening it up or something! I've not tried hypnotherapy... I have tried one of Paul McKenna's deep relaxation cds and after trying it a few times I did feel a bit more relaxed, but actually I have found that walking is better!!

[alb99]

Hi Orange, having battled anxiety/panic attacks for years but not having medication for the last 12 years, I finally gave up the fight a few weeks ago and went to the doctors and broke down. Just like you i was worn out from trying to beat it and carry on with normal life, and yes it is a moment by moment battle. I was trying to explain to my partner yesterday how exhausting it is, almost living parallel lives simultaeously. The normal me and the incredibly nervous me. I too find meeting friends, eating out, even just talking to people sometimes a complete nightmare. However hardly anyone knows this which is why its so exhausting.

I decided I needed a break from myself so the doctor prescribed 20mg of citralopram and I'm just praying after all the side effects they are going to start working soon.

Are you taking anything or trying to cope alone? About 5 years ago I had cbt and that did help for a while. I also cut out caffeine, alcohol and I exercise regularly. However I felt I had done everything I could naturally and just needed some help this time x

[orangeblossom]

Hi alb,
I can completely empathise with what you have written... the exhaustion, the constant battle going on in the back (or front!!) of my mind, and actually what you wrote about leading something like a dual life also really struck home. I hadn't thought about it like that before, but thinking about it now, it is as if I have one terrified life in my mind that is constantly panicking, and the other side that other people see which is actually pretty content, able to deal with quite a few things and a confident person. It is hard to marry them both together sometimes!

I have been given propranolol by my GP, but I am trying - with the help of my therapist - to be less dependent on them. I took them daily for the last few years, and haven't taken them at all for the last week or so. The physical symptoms are so hard to deal with - the shaking hands, the constant jitteriness, the pounding heart, hot flushes.. etc etc

I very rarely have any caffeine based drinks, very occasionally will I have a glass of wine and I do exercise - particularly walking - quite regularly too. So, I guess I am in a similar position to you - I am doing pretty much everything I can possibly do naturally and also trying to stop taking so much medication.

I guess it is a lot harder than I thought... :-(

On top of it all, I have to go and drop off a form to the hospital about some tests my GP wants me to do. I have been worrying about it A LOT for the past 3 weeks and still have not mustered up the courage to go and just hand the thing in! A friend said she would drop it off for me, but I'd like to have been able to do it myself.

[june]

Hi alb,
I can completely empathise with what you have written... the exhaustion, the constant battle going on in the back (or front!!) of my mind, and actually what you wrote about leading something like a dual life also really struck home. I hadn't thought about it like that before, but thinking about it now, it is as if I have one terrified life in my mind that is constantly panicking, and the other side that other people see which is actually pretty content, able to deal with quite a few things and a confident person. It is hard to marry them both together sometimes!

This is a great observation On reading this it made me wonder if this is why we/I don't get the help/understanding when we see psyches/councellors etc? we are dual personalities and we present "our good personality" when we are away from home - "they" do not see us in our fears and panics I had a symptom last night that terrified me - it felt like i had blacked out and found it hard to breathe when i came to - yet it was only a second or so!!!!! the doc said this morning that i am OK and she has no idea what caused the sensation. but i am ok till the next fearful sensation
Best wishes
June

[orangeblossom]

Hi June,

lol - I hadn't actually thought of that! I suppose people (and our GPs) do just see us as regular people who are just a touch stressed because on the outside that is what we look like. If they had a glimpse into what was going on in our minds ... well, that is a whole other story!!

I guess when we are panicking, the rest of the world ceases to exist and the complete focus is on the sheer panic engulfing us - completely overwhelming! - which is why it seems endless at the time.

[Yvonne]

It's very true, unless you go in the doctors' literally shaking from head to toe visibly and crying your heart out they see us as just people. However, even when you do go into the gp and you are distraught and weeping they know you suffer anx and I reckon to them this is just normal with people suffering anxiety.

No one who doesn't suffer has any idea what is going on inside us, we look ok therefore we must be ok. Not so, the turmoil inside is like a torture.

Orangeblossom you explained it all so well - the shere frustration, exhaustion and sadness/despair we feel because we do try so hard and we do keep doing these things which freak us out. It is very very tiring indeed. You get this feeling like you are completely drained - going down with flu is a good comparison of how it feels.

I think when you do feel completely exhausted like this you do have to give in a bit and give yourself permission to just rest. Every day we battle on so giving ourselves one day of not having to face the battle is acceptable. Thing is with us that if we are not "challenging" the thing then we feel like we are really letting it beat us.

Give in now and again when the body is so exhausted. One day of lazing about listening to relaxation cd's or listening to relaxing music, just giving yourself a break is a must in my opinion. Tell yourself you can do this for yourself because otherwise we can burn ourselves out and that would be worse.

Take carexx

[Diane O'Brien]

I was particular interested in reading all these threads. I believe I completely burned myself out. Little did I know at the time. If only I had seen the signs and relaxed more I might not have hit rock bottom. On a more positive note I know to be kinder to myself and the signs to look out for. Pushing myself to hard did me no favours at all. I lost all sense of reason and couldn't concentrate on anything. I remember towards the end of leaving the midwifery course I went in a supermarket and just stood there thinking Wat the hell am I doing here. I could,nt find my sons shoes on morning and collapsed on the floor in tears. I could,nt function at all. I had actually burned myself out.

[orangeblossom]

You poor thing, wish I could give you a hug!

I can understand what you mean though about burning out. I don't think we realise just how much constant stress we are under - for me anyway I am so used to constantly feeling anxious or worrying about going somewhere/doing something, that the genuine exhaustion of thinking thinking thinking all of the time doesn't hit me until it is just a bit late. Or at least, until I need to really take some time out before I really just fall apart.

The falling apart has happened a few times and it was very scary... I am glad that you have recognised that you need to look out for the signs that you need a break and, as you said, to be kinder to yourself.

I think we could all do with following those rules!

If I can ask, how did you cope with your burnout?