This time of year...

[Under~The~Stars]

Hi all,

I haven't posted on here for a long time! Things haven't been so bad, but I am finding things difficult at the moment... I'm really stressed out due to a lot of things, however due to the help and support of a close friend I can now see a way of dealing with it. Nothing has been done yet, but I now know what I'm dealing with, and it is a case of one step at a time - don't try and run, before I can walk! It may take a while, and it may be a hard journey, but I'm going to give it a good try!

Anyway, to get back on topic! After having spoken about this with a couple of friends from here, I thought it deserved a thread of it's own! Christmas and New Year... I'm sure my couple of friends and I are not the only ones who struggle at this time of year? So what I thought was - how about starting a journal type thing? Discuss how people cope, see what aspects of it that people struggle with? And just generally have a place where we can go (here) throughout this time of year, if things are bothering us etc, and just be there for each other... It would be nice to have an outlet for it, and talk about it with people who do understand Anyway, it's just a thought... Maybe it will help, maybe it won't, and maybe it's worth a try? Will leave it up to you. Will see what people's reactions to it are first, and then I'll post

Lou x x

[bottleblond]

Hi Lou

Christmas is fine but for some reason, i HATE new year! i don't know why but i just do. I think it's something to do with, why look forward to yet another year of this hell (anxiety/agoraphobia) But in saying that, I can't be sure. I just don't like it for some reason. Lol

Lisa
xxx

[Jimbo]

Lou

Quick update on me, haven't posted in ages too. Lou persuaded me!

Lots of little blips and things have gone up and down. Had a few periods when I went downhill badly so eventually my meds were increased. So I'm on the highest dose without having to go into hospital for observation which they seem to be angling towards if things happen again. So I'm feeling pretty yucky cause of the side effects but they are having their desired effect.

As for my general anxiety and agoraphobia, they are worse than ever. But I've finally been given a support worker who's going to try to help me get out more.

So Christmas...

My worst time of the year. I have to go back home to stay with my family, so it means lots of relatives and people around me all the time. No escape back to the safety of my flat.

Alcohol, I've been t-total for months now, but xmas usually means drinking. Alcohol has caused me a lot of problems so I don't really want to drink, but it's virtually impossible with everyone around me drinking and offering me drinks. Also getting pulled out to the pub with old friends, some do and don't know about my problems. Pubs are my ultimate nightmare with so many people and so much noise.

New year also signifies the start of yet another year of me being ill. Resolutions... I'm determined to get off sleeping tablets and cigarettes so I'm not looking forward to that either.

Money, Christmas means spending lots of money on train tickets, presents etc. I'm a bit of a Scrooge with money and also severely broke!

Thats the main things I'm worrying about and it's still a month to go!

Jim

[happyone]

Hi Hunny

well, you know I have probs with New Year. I really really hate it. I so want to go to my bed and not get up until the 2nd January. People around me expect me to celebrate and it holds nothing for me that I want to celebrate. I don't want to spoil others fun but I have major difficulty in being happy at this time of year, so I then get a hard time for being a misery guts. Yet, when I say to peeps to let me go to my bed and they go on and have a nice time, they say "Oh...you have to stay up for new year" So, I am in a no win situation.

Christmas, I am normally worried about as it is usually me who entertains. However, my sis in law has decided I have to be as stress free as possible this year so she is doing the entertaining. I am looking forward to it

Happyone
xx

[Under~The~Stars]

Thanks for the reply Lisa

I really struggle with this time of year, as it's a kind of an anniversary for me, of when I got ill with the anxiety, panic attacks and depression. It was September 2005 that I started suffering with panic attacks etc, but it got really bad that christmas and new year... and because a lot of my anxiety was focussed around my health... christmas and new year was especially bad due to the doctors having time off from work. Even though I know I could have seen an emergency doctor, it still didn't put my mind at ease It was a really really bad time, and very scary... So, now instead of christmas time bringing happy memories, it is memories of being ill that I have

It is not only an anniversary, but it's also a reflection of how things haven't changed a great deal for me, and that I'm still not where I want to be Last year at this time, things were pretty good, as I had not long started dancing... so all of my focus went onto that. I thought last year, that this year would be different... I thought I would be settled in a job, settled in a relationship, making plans for the future etc, but just generally being "settled" within myself. Unfortunately, this is not the case... I see this time of year as what I have failed in, rather than what I have achieved... if that makes sense?

So, bottom line is I wish I could just sleep through christmas and new year, and wake up in the middle of January, when everything is back to "normal"

Not sure if any of that makes any sense! But then, when does anything ever make sense, really?!

Lou x x

[Under~The~Stars]

Great to hear from you Jim and Happyone

Jim, I do hope you're going to stick around here - I'm going to make a big effort, as I actually miss this place!

I hate the lead up to christmas! When boxing day comes I feel so relieved! Just getting through christmas day feels like a huge achievement for me! And then I have to go through it all again with new year! Oh, I just can't handle it! I can feel the panic coming on just thinking about it! I seriously don't know how I'm going to cope this year!

I can totally relate to what you have said Jim...

And you too Happyone...

I think it's just so hard, because people expect you to be happy at this time of year. But what if you can't be? Everyone is enjoying themselves, but here I am... sitting worrying about it, and hoping that it would hurry up and be over with! I don't have a good relationship with my dad, and christmas is a time for family... You can't escape to a friends as they are all busy Everywhere is closed etc... The list is endless!

Jim, thanks for the little update on how you've been doing I hope things with your support worker helps.

Thanks guys

Lou x x

[Cherbear]

What a good thread, I always feel particularly low at Christmas time and new year, probably because for the last 4 Christmasses or so it has just been my mum and I and we always feel so sad and reflect on things. We don't have a family, just us, and when I hear of people with big families meeting up for lovely dinners I feel so jealous...I have never had that. However my boyfriend who lives with us is staying with us at Christmas this year and I couldn't be happier about it...finally we can feel like a family and perhaps I won't feel so low. Also I am going to Denmark with them both a few days before Christmas so that should help a lot xx

[Under~The~Stars]

Hi Cher Nice to hear from you

I'm sorry that you find christmas difficult too I hope christmas is easier for you this year. And Denmark sounds good!

Lou x x