I think I am really losing it and I don't know what to do. I feel terrified all the time and I've started paying for all sorts of medical tests without telling anyone (which, apart from anything else, I can't afford!!).
Last week I lied about my age and name to get a mammogram (you have to be 40 - I am nearly a decade younger). This came back as normal, although they commented that my breast tissue was very dense. In the last year I have also had TWO breast ultrasounds - both came back as normal - but I am STILL really worried I may have breast cancer.
On top of this, I have had an MRI colonoscopy, a gynae ultrasound, an abdominal ultyrasound and a full blood works. Again, all normal. And again, I didn't tell anyone in my family - I lied about where I was and what I was doing etc.
And I spend every day, nearly all day, worrying about having cancer. I KNOW it is illogical, and yet I can't stop. It is starting to ruin my life and the lives of others too, because it is turning me into a really rubbish wife and mother..... although I do try to act normal.