Beginning To Panic Over Christmas

[EdwardP]

Hiya,

Each Christmas we always have guests popping in and it's playing on my mind the last day or two. People will be popping around for evening drinks, to give and recieve presents and to have a meal the day after Christmas. I am really terrified at the thought of having to face them. A lot of crazy ideas have been surfacing in my head, like wanting to go up to the attic to hide or creep into my wardrobe and hide there and having my parents tell them that I have gone away for the holidays. I really don't think that I could cope with being around them and standing in the middle of them while they drink and laugh and be loud. I just wouldn't feel comfortable and would have a panic attack in front of everyone, causing myself more terrible embarrasment.

It's going to be bad enough on Christmas Day when my brother and his wife come for dinner. I won't know how to act or how to carry a conversation with them and I am terrified that I will make an utter fool out of myself. There will be five people around the table (Mam, Dad, Brother, Sister In Law) and I will probably just pick at my dinner in fear of choking or dribbling and causing a scene.

Then my relatives will be coming and they will want to see me. My only option is to hide up in the attic if I want to escape being in their company. I know it's a terrible thing to do, especially at Christmas, but it seems like I have no other choice. I can't leave the house so I have to resort to these measures.

Is anyone else dreading Christmas as much as me?

[anx mum]

hi again yeah dreading xmas. God knows how im gonna get my xmas presents as im housebound.

[EdwardP]

I didn't even think about Christmas presents. I may have to shop online in order to get some because I am not leaving the house. I couldn't cope with being in crowded shops. I'd drop down with a panic attack if I had to stand in line and wait to be served. It's horrible like. I'm sick of it all and I'm beginning to wonder if it is ever going to end.

[janeybaby25]

Order on line love, I am not even bothered but HATE xmas shopping. Love xmas itself though so not dreading it. Do you live with your parents? If you really can't face seeing everyone just ask them to say to reletives that you are coming down with a cold then stay upstairs in your room. Or say you are not feeling too great & go upstairs. Normally, I would say face your fears & just do it as best way but if it is getting you this worked up.

Try not to stress hun & enjoy your xmas however you end up spending it! PM me if you want to talk. x

Lots a love. xxxxxxxxxxxxx

[EdwardP]

Hiya Janey,

I may just buy online because I don't want to add further shame to myself by not having any gifts for my family. I can't go out (This time last year I went shopping and it was so crowded that I had a panic attack and became convinced that someone had stabbed me and kept checking my clothes for blood before hyperventilating and falling down onto the curb) so I may need to do it that way.

I just can't face anyone. I'm really not able to do it. I know it's pathetic, but I really would rather spend Christmas in my room. I do live with my parents Janey.

[EdwardP]

By Christmas I'll probably have a full mental breakdown Spaced!

[mike83]

Hi

I dread Christmas all year round, but at least in march or april I can tell myself its a long way off as yet. On Christmas day we usually have my Grandma or Nana and Grandad over, so that makes things too formal, even without them we still have to sit at the table when we never do any other time.

Then boxing day is the worst we all go to my Grandma's for a 'party' and see relatives I only see once a year at that party. I haven't been for 2 years but already worrying about this year as I haven't been for 2 years they will want me to go. Last time I went I remember my cousin bringing a 'sing-a-long' game on the PS2 and I could feel my heart going as I knew they would want me to have a go, luckily I avoided it by hiding in the porch or upstairs. I wanted to go sit in the car last time I went but don't think my parents wanted me to.

How did you cope with it last year?

[EdwardP]

Hiya Mike,

Sorry to hear that you are dreading Xmas too. I hope that it will be ok for you this time around.

Last year I began drinking again and just stayed drunk all through the day and said some horrible things and dramatically confronted people who I had a grudge against. Slaps were delivered and torrents of verbal attacks were put on the table. No wonder I am shamed!

[rosy]

Hi Edward

Christmas is naturally stressful for most people, I think.

I am agoraphobic, and the other day I had to go and post 28 Christmas cards that had took me 3 days to write. I was exhausted just from writing the things.

There was no way I could walk to the letter box, it's a half mile hike, so I got a cab to drive me around. The local ones are quite good. I had to get some money out the wall (luckily there was no queue). Then had to go to a newsagents where I knew they sell books of stamps. (Why doesnt someone invent a way of getting cash and stamps through the computer!!).

Then I needed to get some scratchcards, to put a couple of them in the cards of close relatives. Then I had to sit in the taxi sticking on the stamps and licking the envelopes.

Then we got them posted, 2 were for Florida and 2 for Ireland, and I didn't know what the postage was. So we went to a post office and there was a queue. I couldnt'face having a wobbly standing in line, so I just put 3 stamps on the foreign ones!! It was the only way.

I was totally knackered after and went to bed.

Christmas day I'll be with my cousins in Shoreham on sea for a few hours, no more, they know I get really tired. We just sit round the table eating and making horrible small talk. It's quite boring really.

Anyway try and enjoy yours.
Love from Rosy

[janeybaby25]

Don't stress, just tell your parents & ask them to make an excuse about you not feeling too great. It's xmas its meant to be a joyous time but if you won't enjoy it by being with everyone so just go to your room. Get yourself some DVD's, some beers & pizza or something & chill out in your room. It will all be ok. They is no shame about ordering online, I think everyone should do it. My mum does & she doesn't suffer from anxiety at all. It's just easier doing it online! and quicker. Hope you have a lovely xmas love. xx