Is anyone else like this,,,when talking to people?

[Keggit]

hello Aimee
I'm going through exactly the same. I'm absolutly petrified to talk to people, I just can't relax when i'm talking to someone , I have a problem to give an eye contact,I can't swallow, I start to blush , sometimes my hands start to shake, my heart is beating fast , I can get a massive anxiety attack in the middle of a conversation....all I want to do is to run away and I usually find an excuse and leave. Then I'm so angry with myself, I feel stupid, angry , humiliated and embarassed. I feel like everybody is thinking I'm such a looser and that I'm pathetic too.
I hate to feel this way ! Is this me for the rest of my life ?
Keggit

[kel81]

Hi

I am totaly the same.
I'm from yorkshire and i live in shropshire and people struggle to understand me. I found that I had to repeat myself again and agin and sometimes I even felt that they would just laugh and nod when it wasn't appopriate to do so because they didn't understand what I said. So now, I try and not make conversation.
It's so difficult.

kel

[JUDGEMENT]

Me too for this one. I am exactly the same. Feel very self conscious and inferior in a way.

I repeat in my mind the words,

'These are my equals'



Gives me a real little boost that keeps my head level when I feel like I'm in a sticky situation.

[phoennixxs11]

Hey, this forum is like coming home ha ha ha, i SOOO get how your feeling, i also used to feel like this, it started for me like a bolt out of the blue. I was at work (in a very busy service station) i LOVED my job, it was like a social event chatting to the regular customers etc, then one day a guy who i served hundreds of times before said something to me and i must have blushed, i say must have because i never knew i were. And he made a really big deal about it, he started taking the mick and showing me up in front of the packed shop. Since that day i've never been the same, i went home that evening and dwelled on it all night and since have developed 'social anxiety' i have sought all sorts of therapy CBT, hypnotism, beta blockers and now sertraline, its morphed into general anxiety now but the meds are helping loads. Don't blush too much now but if i do i try not to beat myself up about it. Its a dark road but find the right method to treat it and it will ease eventually!!

Phoennixxs xxx

[Huntj]

I know exactly where you are coming from......I used to be very social.....giving presentations, training sessions with my work, travelling all over the country......but now I struggle to leave home let alone talk to anyone while I am away from home.....AND when I do speak to people I talk such garbage....or better still get obsessed and talk a subject to death!

I am living in a new country, since arriving in the US I have had real problems keeping friends due to my anxiety / phobias

You are not alone!

[Katy1977]

Hi,
I get these feelings also , I find it hard to talk to people, because I'm scared of saying something stupid, I find it hard to make eye contact when talking to people, because I fear they can see that I panic when this happens.
Sometimes with my work I have to do training courses, I spend the whole of the day worrying , because I don't want them to ask me things, so I have to talk publicly, my heart races at the thought of all the eyes looking at me.

[MissChampers]

Me too for this one. I am exactly the same. Feel very self conscious and inferior in a way.

Me too..If i'm engaged in a one to one conversation I start to think that I might panic which then actually brings it on and I have to get away quickly.

[no-fear]

I used to get that all the time. I used to always feel lower in status than everyone else and that everyone was better than me. The thing that I have discovered that has really help me (apart from anti-depressants) is C.B.T and have been using it all the time to counter the negative thoughts that I have in social situations.

[rgb76]

Hi

I feel exactly the same too. I can trace back to exactly when this started. I was working silly hours in a care home, (if you please!) as an Asst.manager. I was speaking to my boss the morning after a sleep-in-when as usual sleep was limited. I was speaking to her, like giving a handover, when I had a pounding heart and thought what the hell is happening to me. I must've been so, so tired as with a new baby as well at home so wasn't having complete sleep at home(but wouldn't have changed that for the world as becoming a dad is the best thing I've ever achieved!). A

nyhow, when I then had to do handovers to staff I was aware of myself and situation became unreal. This has progressed even though I'm now a Care home manager. If I have to have a meeting I get so worked up about it and mull it over, though am trying to relax and breathe through this. I also think I suffer from S.A.D. as winter especially Jan and Feb are difficult for me as the anxiety lessens a bit in the Spring/Summer.

Has anyone recovered from this or just learned about themselves and how to deal with it? I wish I was like I used to be when I could talk more freely but I think there is also some low self- esteem in there too where I am comparing myself unfavourably with others around me.

Anyhow, thanks for reading this, tomorrow is another day!

rgb

[freedomfighter]

Yes, I have the same thing, but I have noticed that it's not the same with all people.

Some people are natural 'starers' and look you hard in the eye with hardly a break, and that's really hard to deal with, but others will glance away naturally, or talk without looking directly at you, which is much better!