Is anyone else like this,,,when talking to people?

[Duckie]

Yes I do that too.

[Parkerchu]

I have been sufffering with alot of the things mentioned here for a few years now and understand entirely what you are going through. I went through a stage were I could no longer look at people in the eyes (mainly my friends) and one by one I began to lose touch with them and felt very inferior and pretty depressed! But without medication and a little therapy I managed to slowly confront these irrational fears.

Sometimes it helps to have a fresh start in life, a new challange! In my case I got a new job, and yes I struggled in the interview but I knew I had to face this fear as they are only thoughts afterall! A couple of months into my new job I began to forget what I feared and slowly began to lead a normal life!

I dont struggle with eye contact often now but I still tend to avoid certain social situations. I've got this irrational fear of speaking to the opposite sex now which is weird, and very frustrating but I feel in time I will beat this, I just have to stay positive and try not to overdo the avoidence thing!!

[phoennixxs11]

rgb76, its mad isn't it, or maddening more precisely. Your rational mind tells you its silly and its just a blip as you were fine before, but the anallytical part is screaming at you "Ooooo tricky situation, your gonna fail this one" and suddenly you become aware of everything your saying, doing and how your acting to the point where i'm no longer aware of what people are saying to me, then i believe i'm acting weird! This is my experience anyway.

[tayside lassie]

i do that on days when im not so good ..even with my own family ..

horrible feeling ...

[velvet_diamonds]

I feel exactly the same. In some situations I could talk the hind legs off a donkey but only when im put in a position where im not looking at that person and they dont have to look at me - for example when im a passenger in a car talking to the driver. I mess up my sentences if someone looks at me when talking and I plan out virtually every conversation I initiate first (that's if I do ever initiate conversation, these days its a rarity as im so anxious)

I work as model and believe it or not in front of the camera I am like a totally different person that's full of positivity. When im in normal situations I am a wreck and don't think it helps that people expect me to be vivacious and uber-confident because of the industry I work in and the way I look. I'm also at univeristy and in my first year I didn't have any problems giving presentations. Then just before Christmas I blacked out in the middle of presenting something.

I don't really have any tips as Im struggling every day but please remember that you're not alone.

[rgb76]

Yeh, Phoenixxs11, yeh totally agree, can be talking away and then suddenly I think oh I haven't started to feel anxious and then it could start up and then I lose track of what I'm saying and just have a conversation with ,myself..'come on' etc... which sometimes works but other times doesn't

I think as well when I'm sensitised to this in a particular situation poeple's voices can seem so LOUD! I also find it difficult when different poeple are talking at the same time.. that I just want to escape.

Good to know that I'm not the only one feeling like this

thanks

rgb76

[sarah peacock]

I feel like this all of the time and it's really awful, i can't make eye contact for very long and get really on edge when someone is looking at me for a while also i feel asthough i cant speak properly especially when i try to pronounce my S's i get all muddled up lol xxx

[nikkipops]

It depends who I'm talking to, but I get very shaky and sweaty if I'm scared of being judged. It happens in classes at uni, with people who might be marking me, my boyfriend's mum... It's not irrational, because I'm sure people do judge the things I say in certain situations, but I hate the thought of that.

Nikki

[Off The Wall]

I can’t stand people looking at me let alone talking. When I see people looking at me for to long I get so scared they are going to come and talk to me. I hate when people beep at you in cars!! I hate when cars pull over right near you and I’m like omg omg omg they are going to talk to me.. and they just happen to live at that house haha. I’m like so relieved when they walk into the house. I use to dress and looking nice - well as nice as I could possibly look and make an effort. But now I dress so daggy, I never do my hair nice, I never wear any make-up it’s like I want to look ugly to everyone so they don’t look at me. I mean who wants to look ugly? It’s so silly.

But I know as soon as someone starts a convo up with me its going to end in 2seconds. I had this guy talk to me the other day he’s so funny it took him and his friend like months to say hello I actually said hello first weirdly enough and then one day they stopped and talked to me.. and its like hi so where abouts do you live around here? And then it was like oh cool… ummmmmm……*smile at each other* Umm cool convos ended.. and his like ok well bye.. haha. Its so lame I had no clue what to ask him?. What am I suppose to say I just answered what he asked me? I knew where he lived so I couldn’t ask the same thing lol. I was going to ask him what he did workwise or something but then I knew he would ask me and I’d have to say um nothing? I don’t work I just panic for a living? Lol.

the first hello how are you is usually ok its just after that where i freak out cause i know this convo is going no where and i'm so boring and have nothing to add. And i take so long to get to the point when they ask questions, i'm so nervous i stutter badly i think im getting to the point then i'm totally not and then i'm stuck and have no idea how to get out of what i was trying to say lol. Plus i don't have anything to ask them either to keep the focus on them not me. Cause at that moment it time i couldn't care less who they are or what they do i just wanna get out of here. i have no interest in them what so ever...

sometimes i lie and pretend i work and that i go out all the time and then i end up feeling really bad and it makes my anxiety worse cause i hate lieing.. but i can't very well say no i do nothing because i have this social anxiety disorder and talking to you right now is making me feel like i'm going to die and i'd really love to run away? haha. Wonder how that would go down???

hm anyway thats long enough sorry for raving on about myself in your post..

[Gettinghappier]

Keggitt! Reading your post I laughed because those are my exact reactions!!! The swallowing one is the worst right? You sit there and you think, " Oh God, I have to swallow, but I don't want to swallow yet, Oh no I am going to swallow, oh it is going to be really loud which will make them think I am really weird to be swallowing in such a strange way...this increases the desire to fight swallowing, which of course only serves to want to make you swallow more...oh it goes on doesn't it?

I know what the root of it is in my case and am hoping to work on it with CBT. I hope to quieten it right down one day but realize it's going to take some time to undo my usual thoughts/reactions and replace them with healthier ones. What's nice about coming on here is that you spend most of your life thinking you are alone and then suddenly you realize that we are only human and many of us have some issue or other.

To an outsider for example I come across as really confident, outgoing, adventurous and fearless .....how funny is that? That is completely not true but I am working on it to make it so

xx