Hey everyone, my name is Dave, I'm 24 from Shropshire and since June this year have been suffering from panic attacks and anxiety.
First of all I'd like to thank everyone on these forums, as I have spent a lot of time browsing through the site and it really means a lot to know that there are other people suffering the same way!
My first panic attack occured whilst at work (was running a pub - suppose the constant arguments the owners were having and the fact I was unemployed and homeless at the end of the week didn't help!) - hadn't had much sleep the night before and felt REALLY tired, was dropping off occasionally behind the bar. So (un/sensibly) I decided to have an ubercoffee (5 spoons of kenco and 4 sugars - lovely). After this, I was still feeling tired, faint, and close to collapse, culminating with being sat on the floor unable to move with chest pains and a large "punching" sensation in the chest - at which point I called an ambulance - fearing I was suffering a heart attack.
I have always had a strange fear of heart problems, ever since I was very young - so much so I used to be frightened of the song "Stop! In the name of love (Before you break my heart)" as a child (strange I know - but then again my sister is frightened of the Wombles).
Anyway - ambulance turns up rig me up to the ECG, take blood pressure etc. and everything looks ok - seems I just had a panic attack. Still feeling in shock afterwards and remained so for a couple of days. Visited the GP the following day and was given absolutely nothing - not even an explanation why I felt like I did.
Things got worse at the end of the week - with me finding out that a close friend had killed himself, resulting in more attacks and anxiety.
My personality completely changed after the initial panic attack, I was always a very outgoing and confident person and now am not anywhere near as confident in myself. My mind always seems cloudy as well, and I don't seem to function as well mentally as I did before P-day.
After the initial attacks, I have suffered more panic attacks, brought out of the blue or by sheer fear of panic itself, and also mild claustrophobia.
I revisited the doctor a couple of months later (different doctor this time thankfully) and got a bit more support, understanding and a referral to a counsellor - 8 WEEKS LATER! I was also prescribed Propranolol as I was also complaining of chest pains and palpitations at the time - but I have never used them, as after speaking to the doc I felt that the pains were more muscular from anxiety related chest tightening and to be honest I didn't really want to take the SCARY HEART AFFECTING MEDICINE.
After that, I began to slowly feel better, and this resulted with me feeling well enough to go out for a drink with friends. I don't even know how I did it but I had seemingly slain the anxiety demon - nothing, not even a twinge, throughout the night.
That is, of course, until I got assaulted later in the night, while outside a pub having a cigarette.
The next day - possibly through shock - the anxiety and panic reared their ugly heads again, and I was back to square one.
Shortly after this, my appointment with the counsellor finally arrived. Met, spoke and was basically told that I was doing well enough on my own and wasn't offered any further help.
This brings me just about to where I am now. I am still suffering from anxiety, not as much from panic attacks, as I realise what they are and and almost stop them with just a thought (yay 10 second panic!), but sometimes the anxiety is overpowering.
I still try and go out (sometimes for a beer - I know I probably shouldn't but it means I am doing things I used to do before P-day and feeling almost normal again)
I have always been a strongminded person, which makes this all the more upsetting/annoying! I am trying not to let all this stop me - it isn't made any better by being unemployed at the moment and having nothing to do all day! I am still looking for work though - and the jobhunt hasn't gone too badly (am not quite as good in interviews now though)
I have just booked a doctors appointment (bloody Monday!) as I am suffering quite badly at the moment with indigestion, stomach pain, reflux and heartburn (and all without having even eaten sometimes!), and have been for a while but it has recently gotten worse. Tried Zantac but has no effect :(
Want to get this sorted as then hopefully I will be able to get back to the way I was a few months ago when I haven't got the horrible burning sensation behind the breastbone - which becomes a heart attack so easily in my mind.
Anyway - sorry about the wall of text, but having been perusing the site for quite a while now I feel I know more about you than you do me, so it's only fair!
Current symptoms:
Acid Reflux, Indigestion, Heartburn, Stomach pain (As mentioned above)
Occasional palpitations / ectopics (not as often now though)
Muscular pains, often in the chest
ANXIETY! (Especially Tescos and the Jobcentre - I blame the rubbish lighting)
Occasional bad vision (always the left eye - seeing strange shapes & colours etc. - often in places with flourescent strip lights)
I look forward to chatting with all of you!
Kind regards
Dave
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