I need to explain a couple of things before i continue. I'm a recovering Alcoholic and participate in AA. I have a sponsor who is supposed to be my first person contact with issues problems i have.

Lot of what i wrote below was written at the time and just wanted other peoples opinions. It may come over as nonsense or just ramblings but its all i can do at the moment lol

People seem to just play into the way I think of the world. They let me down, appease me or tolerate? I’m not sure if I mean they tolerate me or I tolerate them. My life seems easier when I rely on me.
I called sponsor from town – he says we can meet for coffee in 20 minutes at the coast. I rush home and he calls me when on train to say he has to go out for an hour. 2 hours later nothing!! I feel angry, let down and certainly unwilling to call him to find out what’s going on. Same feeling in pit of my stomach I’ve always felt. Something like this happens and I know it triggers me to start shutting down emotionally again. THIS is the stuff (feelings? emotions?) I can’t talk about in AA. Are these the feelings I feel the urge to hide (expose me?) .
Okay bit of time has passed (looking over it again). It wasn’t the event I understand this. The feelings around the event? Avoidance?
Anger yes, resentment yes, feeling left behind, not part of, not included... THOUGHT: I bet other peoples f****ng sponsors don’t do this. (Making it about me). Not about sponsor though. More to do with the feelings that already exist inside <insert name> let me down, I can’t trust <insert name>. That could fit anyone!! I then pull back from the relationship (friend, sponsor, partner) Fear of commitment due to fear of being hurt? Let down? Etc.
So other than looking like am an over sensitive twerp. I see this as the main issue here.
Activating event happens. Triggers deep feelings and memories of emotional/physical(unsure) pain. My gut reaction is to flee. Either by physically leaving or ignoring person etc. So small event escalates into problem which is bringing all that stuff back my default answer to the problem is to escape. If i get close to people i get hurt seems to be the thought that comes in my head.