what is wrong with me?

[weird]

I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing its like I’m in a dream I cant look at myself in the mirror or other peoples faces when I wake up its like the same thing everyday the same sounds same people and I even do the same thing everyday I feel as thou I’m not even living anymore and it scares me so bad that I have really bad anxiety and panic attacks cause I don’t know what it is and I’ve been stuck in my room for like a year now sleeping a lot and sometimes I cant even sleep at all I feel as thou I don’t know that I’m talking sometimes and I’m very irritable to sounds plus I tend to lash out on people cause I’m so mad cause iv been living this way for so long and still cant figure out what’s wrong with me and sometimes I have these crazy thoughts about knocking somebody out and I don’t know why it seems the my brain cant perceive things or process things I see or hear its like my brain cant handle it and it causes me not to be able to function right and have all these weird feelings like I’m out there in a fog or something its like I’m never goanna be back to feeling better again I feel that Iv damaged something that cant be fixed and I don’t know how I did it cause I never did any drugs or anything like that or had a really bad past or anything it feels as thou I have something physically wrong as well cause even when I’m not feeling anxiety or a panic attack or depression there is still something wrong like I’m in a dream or something like I cant talk cause its such a task cause it feels so weird and it just wont go away its like I have so much wrong with me and I have not had a job or hardly any kind of contact with other people and plus I’ve been in my house for like almost a year it feels as thou its too late for me like its goanna be like this forever that there isn’t any help for it cause if there were they would have already helped me instead of me being like this for so long and nothing has changed does anybody else feel this way? Is there help? ….:(

[Meg]

You've just got DePersonalization and DeRealization - join the group. I've answered your other similar post .

We'll stick to one thread on this subject for you please

Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[florence]

Hi Weird

What you are going thru is definitely depersonalization and derealization like Meg said.
These two "conditions" are very common with anxiety and many of us here had it at some point and still have. I have been there too for months & months ... I know how horrible it is to feel detached from reality, from normality. It is scary indeed.
You can have our support here and remember that you're not alone with this and you CAN get better.
Take care for now.
Florence.

**Don't believe everything you think .**

[chucklehound]

Iused to get the derealisation and depersonalisation quite alot when I

was really anxious.

It is quite normal to suffer these if you suffer anxiety and I found my

was worse if I worried about them.

Hope you are feeling better soon...

All the best

Feel free pm me if you want to chat

steno -x-

[seh1980]

Very common and nothing to worry about

"Life is too important to take seriously" Corky Siegal

[mike watts]

Thought I would add in my personal experiences over the last 2 weeks and look for a bit of support as this board seems very friendly/helpful.
I had been in my previous job for 7 and a half years and for the last 3 years it has been incredibly laid back...like no other office job you have ever heard of..let me explain.
I would get up when I wanted, do what I needed to do, drive the 5 miles to work and sit about with my 4 other mates supporting doctor surgery software.
I would do about an hours actual work across the whole day...my boss was my m8 and still is and we could take as long as we wanted for lunch and leave whenever we felt like it. (Hard to believe I know but we were a satellite office and were never bothered by the head office in Banbury and we were basically left to our own devices)
In July, they finally brought the hammer down and said we were being made redundant on my 40th birthday a few weeks ago on Halloween. (Also the 5 year anniversary of the death of a friend of mine in a street fight)
As the office was being wound down towards the end we were there less and less and doing no work at all by now.
I felt myself getting depressed even being in there and had to have a week off near the end because I was on such a downer. (A downer that I rationally talked myself out of, as I had done on many occasions previously)
I managed to secure myself another office job right at the end of my time at ISoft and started there a week ago. Prior to that, I had to attend a training course 45 miles from my home every day for the week before I started...I could feel myself being a bit 'out there' towards the end of this week as I wasn't used to being in Rush hour, getting out of bed early every day..the regimented routine of the working day.
In between my old and new job, I was under immense logistical stress trying to get everything in place to basically 'start work' again and found doing this very difficult as I was away on this course in the one week gap I had from my old 'job' to my new one. And I am quite obsessive about everything being 'just so' so the loss of control stressed me even further.
When I started in my new job Monday (Of which I was extremely anxious about) I was basically left to sit at my new desk for long periods, given nothing to do.
That continued last week and as the days ticked by, night after night I felt increasingly detached from my surroundings, even my flat and my local area seemed familiar to me and strange at the same time...this is still the case today and after coming out of work earlier after another day of nothingness, I felt even worse and thought |I was going to have a panic attack. I Managed to reason my way past that with the help of this siter and my sister but the feeling of not being 'at one' with my surroundings persists.
It sounds like dereaslisation from what I have read on here.
Sorry about the long post but any advice on my next course of action would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks for listening.
Mike