I REALLY think i'm going crazy!

[panicagain]

I just had a thread about being lightheaded and i still am but now i just think i'm gonna have a break down. My neck is stiff and sore, my head has SO much pressure in there, my shoulders are sore and i'm so weak. I think they're gonna take me to the mental ward! I have a 4yr old little girl who is so attached to me. What will it do to her,,,she will be scarred for life. I will probably lose my husband and my children, my older girl is 16 so she'll probably be ok but my little girl will be a mess, i can't even leave her with my husband cuz she cries when she's away from me. I know she'll survive but will i? I'm so scared right now. I've had the worst panic attack of my life last night, it lasted for at least 2 hours then i got about 2 or 3 hours sleep and something woke me up shaking again. I don't know what to do. Panic attacks don't last that long do they? i've always heard they last about 10 or 15 min. Mine have never lasted that long before. What should i do? I don't wanna lose my family to this. i can't handle it anymore. i know i'm just going on and on about it so i'll shut up but if anyone has any sugestions PLEASE let me know PLEASE
I'm desperate
I know i sound pathetic but Please Help!

Oh and for those of you that will ask me about seeing a dr,,,no i haven't seen one, i don't have insurance and can't afford a dr and there's no programs or anything here, believe me i've looked.

[vicster]

hey sorry to hear about ur problems, please please try not to worry. It is easier said than done i know but u need to concentrate on getting well and healthy for your little girl. I too have similar symptoms to u and i find greatly that talking about it helps. Cry if u need to and tell your husband how u are feeling. Please take care.xxx

[LACEYA1961]

I just had a thread about being lightheaded and i still am but now i just think i'm gonna have a break down. My neck is stiff and sore, my head has SO much pressure in there, my shoulders are sore and i'm so weak. I think they're gonna take me to the mental ward! I have a 4yr old little girl who is so attached to me. What will it do to her,,,she will be scarred for life. I will probably lose my husband and my children, my older girl is 16 so she'll probably be ok but my little girl will be a mess, i can't even leave her with my husband cuz she cries when she's away from me. I know she'll survive but will i? I'm so scared right now. I've had the worst panic attack of my life last night, it lasted for at least 2 hours then i got about 2 or 3 hours sleep and something woke me up shaking again. I don't know what to do. Panic attacks don't last that long do they? i've always heard they last about 10 or 15 min. Mine have never lasted that long before. What should i do? I don't wanna lose my family to this. i can't handle it anymore. i know i'm just going on and on about it so i'll shut up but if anyone has any sugestions PLEASE let me know PLEASE
I'm desperate
I know i sound pathetic but Please Help!

Oh and for those of you that will ask me about seeing a dr,,,no i haven't seen one, i don't have insurance and can't afford a dr and there's no programs or anything here, believe me i've looked.

Oh, I know what you're going through, Panic...please don't think you're alone!

I've had panic attacks that would hit me in waves for hours. One time I had to go to the ER in an ambulance because my blood pressure went so high from it. I happened to be at my husband's doctor's office when it happened. His doctor thought I was having a stroke because I couldn't get my tongue to work. It was so scary. I don't know if it was blood pressure (which I'm now on meds for) that caused the panic attack or if it was the panic attack that caused the blood pressure hike. I do know that I've felt better on the pills.

I, too, have no health insurance nor money to go see specialists I need to see. I was suppose to go get a colonoscopy two years ago because I had (and still do sometimes) blood in my stool and constant pain in bowels. I've come to the conclusion by doing my own research that I have irritable bowel syndrome or something along those lines...certain foods trigger the pain so that tells me something. So, I've consoled myself by saying that if I had colon cancer I'd probably be dead by now since it's been going on for three years. I have a recurring bladder infection for the past three years and was suppose to see a specialist to rule out bladder cancer but no money to go. Again, I've been doing research on bladder cancer and again I figured if I had it I'd be dead by now, too. I went many years without sexual intercourse up until three years ago when I met my now husband. I started getting bladder infections since we started being intimate. That tells me something. Because of my dizziness and panic attacks I'm unable to work so I have no income. I've always worked until I moved here to Kentucky from California then all this crap hit me like a truck. I did find a clinic here where I can see a gp but they just do basic stuff like bloodwork, etc. I only have to pay $10.00 a visit but for the serious stuff I have to be referred out to a specialist. When I told the doctor last week about me feeling like I was going nuts and the panic attacks he referred me to place here for therapy that is going to see me on a sliding scale basis (charge according to income). I have an appointment Friday and even though I'm anxious to try and get help I'm not looking forward to it. I'm already getting anxious about the drive there. I still need to see and ENT about my dizziness but again, no money to go. It would cost me $1000.00 just for the testing.

Our health care in this country is horrible and greed is ruining it. It's so disheartning to me to see the lack of care for the people here...unless you have money of course.

I've had the feelings of going absolutely crazy and I've even said many times to myself that I'd rather be dead than go through all of this...but of course on my good days I don't feel that.

I suggest you go to the emergency room at the local hospital. They have to see you whether you have money or not no matter what state you live in. It's the law. I know it's a pain to have to sit for hours waiting to be seen but you might get some info on clinics and such that you wouldn't know about even after all the research you've done.

I'm not sure you're the one I asked before what state you live in but let me know and I'll try to help you do some research okay?

You're going to be fine, Panic. I'm really learning the value of breathing to help me get through my panic attacks. Drink lots of water and stay away from anything that might be a stimulant like coffee, soda, etc..Even certain foods can mess with your system like sugars and such. Also, what is your age? I'm 47 and I know for a fact that my hormones are NOT helping me! I'm in premenopause and it sucks lol

The pain in your neck and shoulders is more than likely from being tense from the panic. In fact, I'm almost postitive but I'm not a doctor. I get that too a lot and also the pressure in my head. That might be due to your blood pressure being high from the panic. Again, I urge you to go to the ER if you can. Make sure someone is with you, of course.

Let me know how things work out and I'm going to say a prayer for you as soon as I'm done writing this.

((((((((Panic))))))))))) you're going to be okay

Lacey

[lauren6]

Hi, I just posted about hitting bottom. I felt like going to the hospital the other night also but seriously don't want to ever be in that kind of helpless and vulnerable position. I was also up all night and when I couldn't sleep, started googling the condition I thought I had. I did see a doctor the nest morning and it was nothing. Four hours of googling for nothing.

I know what it's like to feel you are surely crazy. But they say crazy people don't know they're crazy. This is a disorder and we need treatment. Have you checked the books available online about health anxiety? They may help, they are all cognitive based and they do help me a little at times. I think we have to do a lot of work on this and fight it. I don't have children but I realize how scared you must be. How are you today? I also have neck and shoulder pain and the fact that you have BOTH tells me it is most likely stress...I get this all the time!

[girlrock]

Hi Panic. You are going to be just fine, hun. Panic attacks can last for hours. I trembled for almost 48 hours straight once! And that's how the mind works, "I'm nauseous, I'm gonna vomit, I'm hot, I'm dizzy, Oh my God, what's wrong with me, they are going to think I'm crazy, they are going to take me to the mental ward and lock me up" It's a terrible feeling I know. I have that same fear that that's where I'm going to end up and then it will end up on my permanent record somehow and I'll never be able to get a job teaching(what I'm in school for now). But a few weeks ago I was quite convinced that I needed to be in the hospital...thank God my mom was there for me every step of the way and told me that I didn't need to go to the hospital, I was fine. Sure enough...2 days later I was fine again.

Try to keep your chin up and distract yourself from the worry. When you are having a serious panic attack, just go lay down in your bedroom in the quiet and watch some TV until you can calm down a bit. That's what I do when I'm having a bad one...just head to bed and hope my mind and body give up and I fall asleep!

Good luck and *hugs* to you!

[panicagain]

Thanks everyone for the support I'm feeling better today

[lorac]

Hi

I know how you are feeling I have been there and I too worried that I would be taken off and loose my kids and not be able to care for them. At one time I felt so bad that I didn't think I would get through the day but here I am a year on and I am now living my life again. The panic and anxiety is still with me be I have learnt to live with it and not to focus on it so much. Try to focus on one thing at a time and don't keep worrying about things that might be.

I hope things improve for you soon believe me you can turn this around.

Carol x

[LeeBee]

I'm glad you're feeling better today, panic. Now you know that you can get through the horrible feelings, you can remember your ability to cope if it happens again and perhaps that will help you get through it again.

So awful that you can't get medical care to help you deal with this. Those of us living in countries that have social healthcare are so lucky (UK, NZ etc). If you're a citizen or permanent resident in NZ you can visit the emergency room at a public hospital for free and a visit to your GP costs around US$17. Repeat visits for the same problem are about US$5. I'm not quite sure how it works over there but I guess you don't qualify for Medicaid?

It's great that you've been able to get through this by yourself. If you have a public library, maybe they have a copy of Claire Weeke's book? A lot of people find it really helpful when dealing with anxiety.

[marlou]

oh bless you, glad to hear you're feeling better today hugs to you, you're totally fine honestly, (((hugs)))