Hi everyone, my name is Lauren and this is my first time here. I just read the post below about going crazy and I could have written the same feeling. I was up a few nights ago worrying about something and imagining the worst case scenario. I was up until 4 a.m. and got three hours of sleep. I felt that I don't want to live like this anymore. I worry what will happen when I get old and maybe alone and in a nursing home and who will take me to the doctor if I cam sick or the dentist if I have a toothache and will they just let me suffer and then I will have no way out.
It has gotten to the point where the quality of my life hits me every morning when I wake up...what has happened to me...I remember my teenage years and later, the fun I had, carefree. I have had health anxiety since I was a child and it comes and goes but now it's every day, something else.
If there is such a thing as hitting bottom, this is it and I feel that the only way to go now is up. I can't afford therapy, I have a health plan but cannot afford a co-payment. I can try to help myself, have every book on this subject that's available and could probably counsel others if I weren't so messed up myself. Is it possible to just get to the point where we say "Enough" and "Only YOU can help yourself"? Has this worked for anyone? I am trying SO hard to get my life back, do the things I did before, my hobbies. Can we change the image of ourselves? I feel like I am going crazy, especially when I lay in bed at night and think what has become of me, it doesn't seem real and it just depresses me that this is what I have turned into, just a neurotic mess. So I feel, after the night I had a few days ago, enough...I just can't continue like this but how? Have any of you had what you think is the breaking point and did this help you begin to recover?
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