Fed up, fed up, FED UP...with nausea!!

[rocklover]

Somebody take it away! Have been feeling sicky all day just because I am going out with my boyfriend to the cinema. Admittedly it is better than it was back in the summer, but still, it is horrible. It is the main reason I get panic attacks, because I am scared I will feel sick when I have to go out somewhere, then hey presto....my fear happens!

I haven't always been like this, although I am proned to nausea more than most. I have tried anti-emetics, peppermint tea etc...but not ginger cos I hate it, and nothing seems to work. Sometimes I am ok, even in a stressful situation, so it often doesn't make sense. Has anyone else managed to get rid of this symptom?

[anna66]

Hmmm, Yes I understand, it has been a persistant and reoccuring symptom for me too. I can only say that when I used to plan anything, I would end up getting in a right state about it and talking myself into nausea, weak legs, etc. After reading Claire Weekes, I now just get on with it, my fella distracts me by talking to me constantly, and that keeps my mind occupied and is unable to start the fear process.
Have you actually been sick while out? I used to think I would faint, but I never did, and eventually accepted it was my mind playing tricks with me.
XX

[titch]

hey how did the pics go?? what did u watch?? i hope u felt ok when u was there...i wen to the pics last night too with my fella..i watched four christmases... xx

[rocklover]

Thanks for the replies. No I have not yet been sick, which is good and I tell myself this every time I have to go out so that it doesn't stop me from doing things, it just makes it uncomfortable.

I went to the cinema, but felt rubbish, not with the nausea believe it or not, but managed to work myself into a panic attack 10 mins before my boyfriend picked me up, bloody typical. So I was tense and shaking all the way through the film (which was The day The Earth Stood Still...it was crap), but I didn't tell my boyfriend, and he didn't notice, so I was proud of myself. Didn't sleep well though and felt awful this morning, but had to take my daughter to a playgroup christmas party, so just worked my way through it.

I know I can still get out and do things, but would like to feel good, rather than having to grit my teeth the whole time!

[anna66]

It is amazing how the fear we have, rarely really happens isn't it!
You don't have to push yourself so hard, take things at your own pace in your own time. I have made far more progress by doing things at my own pace, rather than at the pace or expectations of others. Take xmas for example, we decided to have a quiet time this year and have told the relatives that we will visit, if we feel like it. It takes the pressure off me to 'be well enough' and cope with someone elses time restraints. I feel so much better now that, for this year, I can take my steps as little or as big as I like, in order to get better.
xx

[rocklover]

I wish I could take it at my own pace, but hasn't quite worked out like that. During Oct/Nov I really pulled myself together (without meds) and for 3 weeks I had no panic and no nausea at all. Then I went on holiday to Florida for 2 weeks and all the anxiety came back, had massive panic attacks about the theme parks, but had to go because of my 3 year old, didn't want her to miss out.

Since we got back, I can't seem to find my equilibrium, the nausea and panic is back. My dr has tried to encourage me to take Citalopram, but I tried Fluoxetine and felt so awfully sick I gave up after 3 days, so I am wary about trying it. I want to try and beat this thing naturally.

The thing is, I cannot pace myself, I have to go out when my boyfriend comes round as I am living with parents (due to being broke from my divorce, and not being able to work at the moment), so if we want alone time we have to go out. Also he lives over 30 miles from me so when I go to his it's a 45 min journey on the motorway, so if I want to see him, i have no choice.

Also, my ex husband doesn't drive and I have to do alot of dropping off and picking up of my daughter. He stresses me out too as his moods are quite volatile and he is often quite unkind to me, trying to get at me through our daughter. It's all so bleeding hard! I am on the waiting list for counselling, so I am hoping that will help me to cope. Crikey, this is a bit of a rambling post, sorry!

[anna66]

Oh babe, I have SOOO been there! I'm not on meds either, I'm not depressed, I have anxiety issues, sometimes docs think they are a quick fix, but they are not (in my case)
I hate to say this and it is only my opinion, I think with anxiety you have to be a little selfish in order to get better cos you tend to know what you need and what you can or cant do. It was the pressure and guilt that held me back. I had a lot of hassle from my ex and I eventually cut all contact with him until he accepted things as they were going to be. I know its hard when you have a littl'un but is there no way to compromise with him as you are unwell at the moment? You have to put yourself first sometimes babe, your daughter is still lovely and young enough to not notice too much what you are going through.
xx

[rocklover]

At the moment he is being demanding about access (he didn't really make much effort previously), but he is not happy with having her over Christmas, has decided he wants more access which has involved me cancelling her birthday party (just after Christmas), and now he is giving her a party instead, he pushed me into a corner and has made sure that my festive period will be rubbish. But hey, that's just another thing to up the anxiety.

In those 3 weeks I was well, I was taking st John's wort, but I am on the pill and that would mean I would have to come off it again, which is not really great for me, as other 'methods' cause me problems. So I am not sure what to do. I forced myself into town tonight to do some Christmas shopping and I felt so sick. I don't think I even know how to be kind to myself. I need a job as I am totally broke and the Jobcentre "didn't receive" my application for incapacity benefit, so I would have to start again. Probably wouldn't get it anyway, so that is another source of stress to me. Everything is so difficult, it's such a relief to talk to someone who understands how hard this is. I must have been really bad in a previous life!!!!

[anna66]

Hi
Sorry I haven't been on for a day or two, We went to Devon to buy a VW camper! I managed to endure the 5 hour journey, go into a very quiet pub, have a meal, and then had a few anxious moments when we found a spot to sleep in the camper. Reasonable nites sleep and I drove my car home! It is such a huge step for me!.....anyway......
Back to you.......I know he thinks that he will ruin your xmas, but why not see it from a different angle...let him have your daughter and see it as a few days to relax and enjoy yourself! Your daughter will have many many more xmas times with you (my two are 24 and 20, been there, done it LOL)
As for being broke.. so are we, as I cant think about going back to work just yet.
Have you looked into getting some advice from citizens advice with regard to benefits? I hear that Anxiety and panic attacks come under Disability Living Allowance.
Oh and as or the 'being bad in another life' LOL I SOOO have that thought too! I just cant afford a hypnotist to take me back and find out where I went wrong!!!
Joking aside, I spent 20 years with my last hubby, not totally unhappy, but unfulfilled and very lonely. I now have the most wonderful, caring, considerate loving guy, who is my best friend and soulmate. I NEVER thought I would be so lucky, but I have been. You never know what is aroud the corner of life, but things do get better.
xx

[rocklover]

Thanks for your reply Anna. I know that all the stress with my ex husband is not helping, but really my life is not so terrible. I live with my parents, which has it's ups and downs, but my daughter is thriving and I have alot of support from them, I have a boyfriend and a chance to re-train for a career if I want to...like a clean sheet. So why am I so anxious? Why do I feel so sick? Why do I have panic attacks?

However, having just read Panic Attacks by Christine Ingham (which is really good) I have to acknowledge that all is not well with me and I need to figure out what the problem is. I guess I need to look inside myself and at my life and be totally honest. I think my relationship with my boyfriend is not totally what I hoped and although he has done nothing wrong, I am not sure that I am happy with "us". I am also aware that I am incredibley self critical, I constantly beat myself up for having anxiety, for not working, for being a rubbish mum, for not having many friends, for being broke, I even beat myself up for marrying my ex-husband. How can I stop all of this? I just want to feel some sort of inner peace for once in my life. Maybe that's what is behind all this anxiety. Sorry, I am aware that I am rambling, I just needed to get some things off my chest.