Life change

[mlondon]

Hi

My life has changed dramatically over the past month and is going to continue too as I am moving to Australia at the end of January to study a masters. It is not as huge as it sounds because my grandma lives there and I will live with ehr and I have been quite a few times so it feels like a second home.

I feel like I need some support over the next month or so, which is why I am writing.

To give a brief background. I developed anxiety about a year and a half ago now. It came out of the blue, starting with a big panic attack one day. I had quite a few stressors in my life at the time. I started taking Citalopram which had very bad side effects for the first 6 weeks, I had CBT once a week for 3 months and as and when I needed it after that. I gradually got better and in June came off the Citalopram.

I was due to begin a masters in September in London and move to another flat with my boyfriend. I had been with him on and off for 10 years and lived with him for almost 3 years. A week before the masters started he broke up with me. Something snapped and I knew I couldn't go through a break up and get back together and so fourth, as in the past and I felt like I couldn't cope without him. I immediately moved out of our flat and am now staying at a friends.

I became depressed and very anxious. I thought I could get through it without medication but started taking Escitalopram a week ago. I just couldn't go on feeling so spaced out, detached, having strange thoughts.

So here I am now. I have started taking 5mg of Escitalopram 2 days ago. I am currently on holiday woth my mum in fuerteventura. I am still going to work but have some days when I can't. I am now getting ready for xmas and then australia. I am feeling very anxious from the escitalopram.

Any words of supported appreciated, it helps to share my experience.

Michelle

[feels_like_home]

I think you are so strong to go away to complete your masters. That would be tough for a person without anxiety and panic, but you are doing it anyways. I think it will take time for you to adjust to your new life, but I am sure you will enjoy it as well. When I attended teacher's college in the U.S (I am from Canada) I had to drive 2.5 hours each week to school and stay in a hotel for a night and then drive back the next night. I had to face all my fears (driving over bridges, being away from my safe place and safe people, sleeping in a strange place etc.). I had my good days and bad days during this time, but the point is I did it and now I am living my dream. You will feel anxious, but you will get through it. You will then be able to live your dream. What are you going to school for?
Hope this helps.
Michelle