Emetophobia 'Side Effects'

[Angelai]

Not directly because of emetophobia - but whatever has caused that has also caused many other big issues for me. Sometimes severe depression, panic disorder (daily panic attacks), constant anxiety. I had serious anger/temper problems when I had my son and was always shouting and screaming at him, throwing things (I was on my 3rd set of mugs by the time he was a year old and down to my last plate). I didn't trust myself not to hurt him and even though I had a lot of support, I was still alone with him a lot. It was better for him to go with my mum at that time, but it wasn't intended to be permanent.

I've been judged by many people - family, strangers - for handing him over. They don't need to judge me, I beat myself up about it every day. And no, it isn't as simple as just having him back now because there is a lot more to it than I want to go in to.

I hope I'm not being judged again now, because that still really gets me down no matter how often I tell myself I don't care what people think. One of the biggest causes of my repetitive depressions is ruminating over what people think of me. I've left 5 jobs because I couldn't deal with the 'suspected' low opinions of a colleague...

Now I've gone on and on, revealing stuff that I should really keep to myself. I guess I just have to get it all out to give people a chance to hate me!

[andie73]

Hi Angelai

I don't think anyone should criticise anyone for saying how they feel or how their anxiety and other problems have made them behave at times. We just never know just what is round the corner for us and none of us have room to stand in judgement over another until we have lived their life....and we can't do that can we?

Don't beat yourself up about what others think as they are not you and have not had the same experiences as you.

Take care

[Angelai]

Thanks Andrea, I really appreciate that

[april tones]

I am scared of having side effects to drugs, is that same thing?

[MissChampers]

Not directly because of emetophobia - but whatever has caused that has also caused many other big issues for me. Sometimes severe depression, panic disorder (daily panic attacks), constant anxiety. I had serious anger/temper problems when I had my son and was always shouting and screaming at him, throwing things (I was on my 3rd set of mugs by the time he was a year old and down to my last plate). I didn't trust myself not to hurt him and even though I had a lot of support, I was still alone with him a lot. It was better for him to go with my mum at that time, but it wasn't intended to be permanent.

I've been judged by many people - family, strangers - for handing him over. They don't need to judge me, I beat myself up about it every day. And no, it isn't as simple as just having him back now because there is a lot more to it than I want to go in to.

I hope I'm not being judged again now, because that still really gets me down no matter how often I tell myself I don't care what people think. One of the biggest causes of my repetitive depressions is ruminating over what people think of me. I've left 5 jobs because I couldn't deal with the 'suspected' low opinions of a colleague...

Now I've gone on and on, revealing stuff that I should really keep to myself. I guess I just have to get it all out to give people a chance to hate me!

(((Big Hugs Angelai))) Nobody should judge you because they've not been in your shoes and haven't a clue what you've been through, unfortunately there's always ignorant people out there who will judge and make cruel remarks. I've done things in the past I'm not proud of and I have been judged, these days I tend to keep things to myself as it's nobody else's business. Take carex

[BNCfan]

Angelai, I just wanted to add my support, it's all too easy to judge other people - too many self-righteous individuals around these days who haven't had to cope with what you have obviously had to endure. I know what it's like to give up someone you love because you think/know your panic/anxiety/depression puts them in danger. We all have our unique problems, depending on what our lives have thrown at us, and I thought this was a place to get support, not criticism. If you've nothing good to say don't say it, especially when you are ignorant of the painful details involved. Hugs, Helen

[andie73]

Hi Angelai

See what did I tell you in that pm!!!!! Don't be afraid to talk about things cos there are lots of us out there that won't criticise you. We never know what life has in store and we should never be so quick to be judgemental about others when we do not live their lives.....it could be us one day!!!!!

[belle]

Hi.
I would never judge you. Why? I am not perfect and i have made a gazillion mistakes in my life.

Raising a child is hard, raising children is harder. I would be the first person to put my hand in the air and say i could definitely be a better mother.

I don't think you should beat yourself up because i am sure, if you were well enough, you'd have your som back in the blink of an eye.

I apologise if you felt i was judging you...

x

[Angelai]

Thank you all so much, it's a real help getting feedback/hugs and stuff from you all!

Belle - thank you, I know I'm extremely over sensitive.

My son stayed with me this weekend, think we're back to 'normal' after missing a week because of noro and my b****y phobia.

xx

[BNCfan]

You handed your child over because of your emetophobia?

Belle, a brief post like that did 'read' like criticism and I immediately sprang to Angelai's defence, because, as I wrote, none of us really knows anybody else's circumstances. I don't want to upset you either, so forgive me if I did.