Hi everyone.
I'll introduce myself first. My name is Robert and I'm from Glasgow. My username comes from the combination of the City I was born in and my favourite computer format (Weegie + Mac)! I'll just let all the info out, what's been going on for the past 4/5 years and then my "symptoms". I'm petrified there's something "wrong" that's being put down to Stress and not being diagnosed. I will REALLY appreciate those who read this long post and give me some advice.
Here goes ...
I've been off work since late October 2008 with what my Doctor only diagnosed as "Stress". I work for one of the UK's largest banks and have done for some 8 years now, being paid a pittance for more hassle than it's worth. However, due to recent events we're being faced with redundancy, although if I'm being totally honest I'd welcome it to simply get some money out of them for the years of hassle and grief.
The last 3 to 4 years have been probably the toughest of my life, and I'm only 29 years old.
2005:
My Mum moved her boyfriend of just a few weeks into the family home.
My younger Sister moved out in protest.
My Mum fell out with her Mum & Uncle (my closest Gran & Uncle).
I began to experience "fasciculation's" or "twitches" all over my body. These would range from single twitches in my shoulders, biceps, calfs, and face to periods of more prolonged twitches in large muscles like my thighs. At this point I done a Google search and found out the names of all sorts of hideous diseases and convinced myself I was dying.
We all subsequently fell out, because I backed my Mum while my Uncle and Gran disowned her, and I only began speaking to my Gran & Uncle again through tragic circumstances in 2007 (which I will touch on later).
2006:
Met my Girlfriend (now Wife), which was a huge positive.
My Mum's boyfriend proceeded to rip her off and leave the family home while creating a bit of havoc.
While in work I took the first of my "Stress/Panic" symptoms when I was sitting at my desk and felt like I was floating outside my body. My arms went all light and warm, and while I felt in control of them it was like I was simply observing their actions. My Doctor called this "Depersonalisation"?
My second major "symptom" came when I was at work, again sitting at my desk and I felt a ball of pressure in the upper left area of my head ... about five inches from the temple, near the scalp. My Doctor ordered a CT scan which came back normal after 8 weeks of waiting on the results. Again, this was put down to "Stress".
The CT scan seemed to calm me down, and the twitches subsided greatly and (aside from minor flare ups) have never returned to the same extent.
My Girlfriend (now Wife) and I went about buying our own home. Getting a mortgage was a bit tough and the whole thing dragged on for some months and was, in all honesty, a tough time. Some viewed this as "too soon" due to us meeting in February and moving into the new home in July!
2007:
This was when my work began to get a bit unbearable. I was moved to another department, which I subsequently enjoyed working in. I gained my best annual report of my time in the company and was, out of the blue, shunted back to my old role due to "company requirements".
Training on new roles was limited and mistakes were made, leading to me being threatened with formal disciplinary action for ... wait for it ... not filling in a spreadsheet properly.
In August 2007 tragedy struck when my Grandmother took ill and went into hospital. She requested we all be together and unfortunately, following a routine operation, she suffered a stroke and passed away. This brought us back in contact with my Uncle again, although my Mum is now racked with guilt to this day, despite her being the one who was disowned.
In September 2007 my Girlfriend (now Wife) suffered a miscarriage as we tried for our first child.
My Mum was also diagnosed with Depression following the death of her Mother, my Grandmother, in the August.
My Girlfriend and I announced our engagement in September 2007, a month after my Gran passed away. We felt announcing it would perhaps bring some good news to the family, but we were frowned upon and asked "How we could think of marriage at a time like this".
Christmas 2007 was a non-event.
2008:
February 2008, the family cat passed away following a stroke aged 10 years and 9 months. Comparisons with my Gran were made, and the pet I'd known since age 17 was no longer with us.
Continual work problems mount up with any mistake being scrutinised, regardless of severity ... morale in the department reaches all time low.
Our wedding took place in April 2008 and my family took no part in the organising of the wedding, almost as if they didn't agree with it.
In August 2008 my Wife was made redundant due to the Credit Crunch.
Christmas 2008 was a non-event, and my Wife found short term employment in November 2008.
Symptoms:
Fasciculation's body wide (now almost gone, but were very severe for 18 months from onset in 2005).
Strange light/warm upper body/arms sensations, like "Out of Body" but aware of what's going on. (last occurance when picking up wedding bands ... happened in-store!).
Tingling/Numb/Buzzing facial muscles, mainly left side and focused on corner of mouth, around eyebrow/eye socket, and temple.
Tingling/Numbness/Buzzing in left side of head and up into scalp.
Diagnosed with High Blood Pressure, currently on Olmatec 20mg to treat ... symptoms present both on and off medication.
Does this all add up? It all seems to easy to focus on stress, but these are real physical symptoms I'm having. When the numbness/tingling kicks in I often feel a little flushed and a tiny bit nauseous, which passes in time. When the whole thing comes on I get a feeling that I need to go to the bathroom (not a "feeling" as in needing to do the toilet, but more to get out), and when it all passes I feel so worn out and tired (often lasts 10/15 minutes and the tingling remains in a lesser manner). The thing is, I don't always "feel" stressed. I mean, can your system be stressed out even if you physically feel fine? Can this "subconscious" stress trigger physical symptoms which you do feel? I can be sitting having a great time with my Father-in-Law and friends playing Poker and this tingling comes on, which prompts me to feel all hot and flushed, and feeling sick to the pit of my stomach. Can symptoms come on with no stress indicators present, or do underlying issues just burst out into physical symptoms when they want?
Again, massive thanks to those who read this and comment.
Thank you.
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