Self Esteem..

[CarlNottm]

Hi,

Just wondered if self esteem is a symptom of depression or is depression a symptom of self esteem?? Also is self esteem genetical or learned? Im interested as recently I have come to realise just how low my self esteem is and has been as far back as my childhood. Its quite upsetting to realise that all the bad thoughts and feelings about other people were created myself and I want to go about lifting my confidence any ideas?

Thanks
Carl

[Nechtan]

I think one could lead to the other either way. I have always had low self esteem but never have had depression. I can see how it could lead to it though. Likewise if you were depressed then it would lead to low self esteem.

The thing about low self esteem is that it is our perception of ourself so the only way to raise that is to have a better opinion of ourselves- love ourselves more. When you have low self esteem you only see your own bad points and any positives are usually discarded. I think you would have systematically analyse yourself and note down all the good points and look at improving the bad points to lift self esteem.

All the best

Nechtan

[Hope 2]

Hi Carl

Good advice from Nechtan.

I have no help to offer, only empathy as I too have always had low/no self esteem. Especially as a child. Learnt to cover it well as I got older. Currently in counselling to try and find some self worth.

Have to say. I feel it's about belief and trust. The rest will follow?

Have you had any help?

Cheerio
Julia

[EmmaJane]

I could of written your post Carl, im exactly the same. I have been trying to feed myself a lot of positive affirmations. They are actually starting to help xx

[CarlNottm]

Thanks guys,

I think affirmations are extremely powerful its just a case of remembering them all the time, if you can crack that your well on your way. I have read three books by Susan Jeffers and they are amazing. Recommend them to anyone.

Thanks
Carl

[Hereford Al]

I suffer with low self-esteem. Even though people tell me I am great at my job and stuff I generally don't believe that I am worthy of praise for some reason.

It is difficult building your confidence up though, after what must have been 10+ years of feeling this way about oneself.

[Dahlia]

I think you can have low self-esteem but not be depressed. But low self-esteem is often a symptom of depression. It often accompanies anxiety disorders too - a lot of people who are long-term anxious also feel guilty or ashamed, which leads them to feel worthless, or a 'nuisance'.

I suspect low self-esteem is a mixture of temperament and environmental factors. Say you are temperamentally sensitive, you will feel slights and put-downs from other people more acutely, and you then start to believe they are true. Tlhis knocks your confidence. So don't blame yourself (another example of low self esteem, eh?!).

Most of the people I know with low self-esteem were bullied at school or had a hard time of it with their peers. Interestingly, a lot of the kids at school who were bullies, did it because they felt inferior in some way, and bullied to feel better about themselves. I guess they offloaded the low self-esteem onto the victim.

David Burns' book, The Feeling Good Handbook gives really good ways to combat the negative thoughts. Low self-esteem becomes a way of thinking - and you can address the negative thoughts, understand how they are distortions not 'truth', and replace them with believable positive thoughts. It's worth getting hold of the book if you can.

Dahlia

[belle]

Hi.
I hate myself, whether that is low self esteem and BDD combined, i don't know, but what i do know that contributed to these feelings were A LOT of critcism i would recieve growing up, always being put down, never good enough...blah, blah, blah. Then i was severely bullied at school for a couple of years, being pysically, mentally amd verbally abused every-single-day for being fat AND ugly.

As i have 'grown up' unfortunately the disliking to myself has only esculated. Not only from the feelings of the past, but now added on top of that i am hating myself because of the situation i am in now. I think i am depressed because of everything that is going on. I believe that if i didn't suffer with low self esteem, i would definitely be depressed living as i currently am.

x