Feeling of worthlessness

[Janieb]

It is odd, I am becoming to paranoid! and then my anx kicks into play and I become anx about work, and the people around me and even how they precieve me!

I have been struggling at work and had to eventually ask for help, normally I do not ask because I feel that I need to take it upon myself to do everything perfectly! The person I asked came back and pointed out my errors but why do I feel terrible? he was helping me and I just feel so worthless and stupid like I am about to get fired and feel embaressed to actually go in on Monday!

It winds me up, like my mind can't take critisism. I wish there was something I could do to stop feeling like this and actually accept things as they are and stop reading into everything! any suggestions?

[Bill]

"Accept yourself as only being human".

You're a perfectionist so you're your own greatest critic. He pointed out mistakes you've made which made you feel bad about yourself because you can't accept being "imperfect".

However, you've been under alot of stress which makes us more vulnerable to making mistakes so it's only natural as a human being to fall short of your own high expectations of yourself.

You also feel bad for having to ask for help because you feel you should be capable like everyone else but maybe they don't have your workload or already receive help. Maybe they don't try to take on as much as you. Don't be so harsh on yourself because you show you're actually very conscientious about your work and probably more conscientious than others who don't care.

You have low self esteem which creates your feelings of worthlessness and feeling stupid when no one but yourself would think as lowly as about you. You again are being over critical about yourself when others won't be thinking what you think of yourself.

Your paranoia is created by being self-conscious. The stress and low self esteem makes you feel everyone must be thinking you're no good because "you" feel you're no good at your job because you've made mistakes but you're only human and Everyone makes mistakes when they're under pressure.

You will walk in on Monday morning and everyone will greet you just the same as always because they won't be thinking or feeling your thoughts about yourself because they will only see "you" - their friend and "normal human being". You just need to accept that you are "only human" like everyone else views you.

[Janieb]

Thank you Bill for your reply it is much appreciated!! and yes Monday has not been as bad as expected! Thank you for taking the time to reply!!

[tadpole]

Janieb
I thought you were talking about me when I read your post. I'm not sure I can give you much comfort as I'm going through the same thing as you (see my post resign before they sack me) though for me knowing there are other people out there like me is a comfort.
Well done for getting through Monday.

[bearcrazy]

brilliant post bill. i am also a perfectionist and with cbt am finding my way through it. last week my therapist suggested keeping a journal of positive things which happen each day. its really worked. now instead of focussing on the negative things, ie things i got wrong, i now spend my day looking at the positives. best idea ever.