MY anxiety and My husbands Depression

[jays]

Ok - my first post here..
I have been suffering with anxiety for a few months now - I guess I know what brought it on really - my husband suffers with depression and the last year has been a real struggle for both of us..I guess the anxiety was brought on by never knowing what his moods were going to be like.. his depression has been severe and it has put our relationship through hell. I just think I came to a point where I couldnt take any more. I started to realise this when I noticed if people got to close to me - I wanted to scream at them - even my own children......Shopping became a nightmare...I would search for an open space and go there quickly very tearful.
I now force myself to go out - I hate it...I just want to be left alone, dont answer the phone and in fact have just withdrawn myself from people.
I once thought that these feelings and actions were that of a timid unconfident person - but I am not at all like that - I am bubbly, confident and outgoing.
I am currently signed off work - I have attempted to return but the horrible feelings returned for days again - I am seeing the doctor and have been taking Citalopram, for about 5 weeks now.
I am hoping I can learn to control this it seems there is nothing I can do to stop it at the moment. It seems that my husbands condition has played a big part in this - he has currently accepted medication but as anyone knows about depression - no decisions are lasting ones

[bottleblond]

Hi Jays

Welcome to NMP

Anxiety does tend to change our outllook on life, Shopping, Socialising ect, where as before it would be second nature to us. What you are feeling is completely normal and will improve in time hun. They say that these medication take a while before they take total effect and i can vouch for that, so please don't think you will be like this forever.

Stick with us as i'm sure you will get lots of support here.


Lisa
xx

[Yvonne]

Hi Jays

The constant stress of your husband's depression has put a huge strain on the marriage and an even bigger strain on you. You have dealt with it - as we do. However, constant stress leads to anxiety and that is what's happened. One day the pot gets filled with too much stress and it boils over it's as simple as that.

Everything you describe are normal anxiety symptoms, this is how stress manifests itself.

You are not alone, there are loads of us who have suffered exactly what you're describing so you will defo get some support here.

The Citalapram can take 6 or sometimes 8 weeks to kick in. Have you had any improvement since taking the Citalapram?

Seeing as your new to anxiety then do a little reading on the subject - read Claire Weekes - have a look on this website for recommended books. Make sure you do some relaxation each day where you can switch off - maybe buy a relaxation cd.

Good luck

[staple]

Hi Jays
welcome to the forum and it seems you have a lot to contend with and have been coping with it for a long time, To live with someone with depression is not easy and now its time for you to concentrate on yourself and get well again. It will take some time to get well and you have made a good start with the Doc and this forum.
Mike

[jays]

Hi thanks for your replies.

I guess the only difference I have noticed so far with the meds is that I am not as tearful as I was but then I am aware thatI am not putting myself in the situations that made me feel like that. Obviously my Husbands moods have a huge impact on how I feel - but I do understand despression and am very supportive to him. I guess I will see how the meds go but don't really know the next step - I fear going back to work but my husband keeps on going and I dont feel like I should be off.
I have had huge amounts to cope with over the last year - he has nearly walked out twice - not due to our relationship but due to the depression.
The 'pot has certainly boiled over' for me but unlike my husband I am keen for treatment and ok with taking meds - guess I believe in them - whereas he closes many doors!!

[Trapped]

Hi Jays, it was nice to 'speak' with you last night, I hope you are ok

[sunshine-lady]

Hi Jay

Sorry to hear that you are going through so much at the moment.
Does your husband work, if so is there something work can do to help him? If he doesn't work, it might be an idea to go back to you gp and ask if you can get some practical as well as emotional support they can offer.

Please stick with your meds, if you are no better in a few more weeks, go back to see your gp, you may need to increase the dose as they usually start people off on the smallest dosage.

Good luck

[jays]

Thanks

Yes he does work - he is not willing to take time off as he is rather ashamed of having depression - in some ways it is good that he is keeping in this routine - his work would not be that supportive also. I have seen a counsellor and had a chat - but mainly my condition will depend on his and until he can control his it seems I cant mine - tbh I didnt find the chat much help - as we know there is no easy answers here.
I am happy on my meds - see it as being positive, that they will help. My DH has had quite a few good days recently - unfortunately he is not good now - but we take it day by day and I am very supportive of him.

[kashameets]

my husband suffers from depression and found that meds didnt work for very long so i did some research and now he takes zinc, complete b, selenium, chromium picolinate.
he also feels better about taking vitimins than meds, man thing i think.
hes 95% better now only has the odd down day.
maybe look in to vitimins.

[Anxious_gal]

my mum is depressed and that plays a role in my anxiety too.
you should try therapy, sometimes anxiety is caused by a build up of things, mostly emotional stuff.
maybe try to do some nice things for your self, like go for a massage, try listening to relaxing music,
there are lots of helpful books on anxiety, try amazon.uk/.com