Hi,
First post on here so hello!
Man, am I drained today. Had a job interview this morning (with the accompanying disturbed sleep last night, though it actually went pretty well) and then a diagnostic appointment with the mental health nurse this afternoon.
I've suffered anxiety on and off for about 4 years now although the past year has been particularly tough. They've had me on medication (Citalopram and Propanalol) to help me deal with it and overall I'd say it's helped me get out and achieve stuff. I managed to do a teaching qualification last year and that was a really good experience, helped my mental state and confidence no end.
Anyway, the past couple of months have been really rough. I've been out of work since I finished my PGCE and have struggled to get back into work since because I've been quite afraid that I won't be reliable enough to hold down a job. I'm also starting to get a little agrophobic, worrying about going into town becuase of all of the noise, people and associated hubub.
My anxiety stems from a nervous breakdown I had a few years ago through taking epic amounts of drugs and drink. I basically had a series of drug induced psychotic episodes (classic cannabis psychosis) and though I haven't been near anything stronger than alcohol in years I still have to deal with the fallout from it. I suppose the root of my anxiety is fear of going mad. Having experienced schizophrenic type symptoms I know from first hand experience how awful and scary it is!
Anyway, I went to see the mental health nurse today who told me that the best way to deal with it is simply to face my fears by getting out, doing stuff and realising that I'm not going to have a psychotic episode in the middle of the street! She said that CBT might well just feed into my anxiety and probably wouldn't be the best course of action which makes a lot of sense.
But yeah, reading this board has helped me a lot. Just knowing that there are loads of other people who are going through exactly the same problems as I am and got through them.
Still, I'm drained today from all of my mental exertions and feeling a little anxious/paranoid as a result.
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