Well everyone.....
Last April I started having panic attacks, I thought it was with what was happening at college (I was being bullied because of my dysklecxia). Was i Wrong. I Kept getting the attacks :(.
On May 26th I went to see Amy MacDonald live in concert, This made me realise the anxiety was a load of tosh. But the attacks kept coming. To make matters worse, On May 28th Went to Luton Airport to the Easyjet training centre when I had a panic attack the night before. Went to my doc, he gave me Diazepam for the plane trip. Everything started calming down.
Only for it to come SHOOTING back into my life. I was put on different anti-depressants whilst suffering withdrawal symptoms from the last ones, I went to my friends in Rugby in July where I felt great. As I had to get a bus back up to Glasgow i felt awkward, but when i was on the move i felt a million times better (mainly coz i was distracted by the fact i was looking out for Eddie Stobart Lorries). But I felt more alive.
I went to my Psychatrist apointment after i came back, and from then on went to anxiety management, at the time i was put on Mirtazapine, these did naff all for me i must say, i felt worse on them. the panics were more frequent and more stronger.
To combat this my mum thought of a way to distract me, My older brother Michael started taking me to the end of the runway of Edinburgh Airport to watch flights land and take off. I must say this helped me so much.
Later on i went on Fluoxetine, whilst was on them i was taking Kalms, and i thought i was in a stable relationship. My biggest challenge came when i went to Wales Rally GB with my brother, first time being really far away from my mum. Glad to know that i was really fine when i was there, no panic at all. Because of this i have fallen in love with Wales and now see it as a second home.
After i came back from wales, My boyfriend dumped me :(. the panic returned.
Christmas day was a sad day for me, it was the first xmas without my Granny Carpenter, she died on Boxing Day 2007. Since I lost the one person close to me i felt lost and alone.
I think losing my Granny played a part of my anxiety. It wasnt until after the New Year that i realised that my granny would not like me to be like this and i realised i had to make a new start.
I re-dyed my hair blonde, stuck in more at my college work, hung out with my friends more and made new ones on this site, i want to thank Kris for this one becuse if it wasnt for him, i wouldnt have made all these new friends and i wouldnt have known that there was many people who also suffered from anxiety.
I have to say that now i am seeing someone, things are looking up for me, I am attending a 6 week anxiety management group on a monday, my usual 3 days at college and spending time with Stewart (stewarty on here), Also spending more time with my mum helps me.
I just want a big thing to say, I am moving forward Not Backward. Hope my story hear can help others do the same......
Thankz for reading this long story, i should write it as a novel lol.
Pamii..........
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..you have come a long way and hope you continue to do so xxxxx
