Scared to Death of Dying !!

[AliS]

I have just joined the site today. For the last month or so I have been experiencing all sorts of ailments, from headaches for days and days, clicking jaw, palpataitions, numb fingers etc. I am currently having lots of tests but these are so far all coming back fine (thankfully) and my doctor thinks I', stressed and anxious. It's really comforting to know I'm not alone. However one thing that is getting me down more than anything else is a constant terror or dying. Even the slightest twinge has me convinced I'm about to drop dead. It's that bad sometimes that I'll watch a programme on TV and think "well that's the last time I'll see them on telly" or I could be in a room in my house and think "I really like this room, I don't want to die yet!" Bizarra I know but it is becoming a real problem. Funny thing is I only get these feelings at home, when I'm at work I feel fine most of the time. Do you think these thoughts are all due to being stressed?

[clarissa]

YOU are not alone - we have all been there. I remember having a cough which I thought so bad that it was lung cancer but no one else seemed in the slightest bit worried about - but to me it was my last breath, cough, day, meal etc. I came on here and I was advised that no one has died of a panic attack. True words that I repeat to myself when I need to - bye the way I lived!

[AliS]

Phew! What a releif just to know that I'm not on my own with my morbid thoughts. I'm trying to relax more and learn how to deal with stress and anxiety and this is the beginning of a new and unwelcome road for me. Thanks for replying.

[BasilCat]

Im scared of dying too and it goes through my mind most days. I am also an anxiety sufferer but am glad to say that I am coping better with that these days. Still think about dying though. So you are not on your own.

Shirley

[traceyj]

me too!! If i have slightest twinge i think i am going to drop down dead, I have to watch happy tv no medical programmes otherwise i have that, Inside i know that is not going to happen as i have been like this for ages. Take care

[Vanilla Sky]

Yes, its all anxiety related hon. I went through a bad phase of that still do now and again . Has your doctor given you anything for the anxiety? Your so not alone and you will find on this site that nearly all of us has or have had the same ''symptoms'' . make sure you get support whilst your feeling this way and coming on here is a good start the rest will follow good luck. love paige x

[velvet_diamonds]

I've been feeling this way for a few months too. I found it got worse when I did my training to become a lifeguard (now my part time job) as I had to learn how to use a defibrilator, use oxygen machines and do spinal turns, CPR etc and it became very real that these things happen and that people die.

I've also purposely stopped reading womens real life magazines as a lot of the stories are about people who died in strange circumstances or from something seemingly harmless - for instance I read one about a woman who died from water poisoning after she drank 7 pints of water in 2 hours so I became convinced I'd suffer the same fate and stopped drinking water for a few days! I also avoid any health programmes on TV and I find this has helped a bit and at least prevented my morbid thoughts developing further.

[AliS]

Wow!! Reading all these replies has had me in tears of releif. It's so reassuring to know I'm "normal" - thank you all so much. I'm still going through the stages of being diagnosed with something but my doctor is pretty sure it's anxiety. At 41, this is a new experience for me but with people like you guys around I feel much more able to deal with it. Thanks again and best wishes to all of us. Ali xx

[mabelina]

I am ABSOLUTELY TERRIFED of dying! Like someone just mentioned, i also cant watch any hospital dramas on tv cos i will have everything they have! My parents have even hidden our family medical book so i cant read up on symptoms. Im actually laughing writing this as i can see how stupid i am As for your "thoughts", yes i have them too. My mam sometimes says "night night see you in the morning" and i always think "what if you dont?". My ridiculous thoughts are endless and i cant think of them all to write down now.

[BNCfan]

Alis, I've ruined 55 years of my life convinced I was about to die - following the very sudden death of my father when I was 9 - it was followed by years of abuse and all became some huge phobia about death - among other things. I never leave my flat without thinking I will never come back to it and trying to 'inoculate' myself against it by having to touch the door handle a certain number of times. I'm also agoraphobic which doesn't help and live alone. I have no family. The fact that they were all dead by the time I was 33 also haunts me. The thoughts and fear of death obsess me constantly. When I was younger I had dreadful OCD and it would take me hours to do anything, because every time I did something - like leave a room for example - I would tell myself it was the 'last time' I would ever go into that room and would have a compulsion to go on repeatedly going backwards and forwards for literally hours until I wore myself out, convinced I would never do whatever it was again. I couldn't go to bed because I thought I would never get out of bed again and would spend the night just about to go off to sleep and have to leap out of bed to prove it wasn't 'the last time - it sounds ridiculous, but it was very real to me and it was utterly exhausting. I still have some minor OCD problems, but the main things I'm left with are constant chronic anxiety and depression. Like you the slightest physical symptom is translated in my mind into fatal illness. I would strongly suggest you ask your doctor to refer you to a good CBT therapist, who will hopefully be able to help you with these life destroying fears. My problems were left too long before I got help and are too deep rooted now for anything to be done. Don't waste anymore time suffering like this. The symptoms are anxiety based, but you need help and support with sorting things out. I wish you well. PM me if you ever need to 'talk'. Best wishes, Helen