Hi all,
Just thought I would tell my story and hopefully it may help others too.
My panic attacks started in 2006 the first day back at work from the christmas holidays. No one likes that day anyways but to experience what I did knocked me for six. I really didn't have a clue what was happening to me and to put it bluntly it scared the living day lights out of me. I was bed ridden for a couple of days because i thought i was suffering from some form of physical ailment. Eventual i got myself back to work and things we ok for a while.
Things then started to get worse a couple of months later so i decided to go see the dr and ask him about it. he said i was suffering from anxiety. I really didnt know why i was. My current partner didnt understand and that upset me a great deal. the dr prescribed me some diazepam but that didnt even touch it.
I started having the odd few days off with sickness and didnt realise it was the anxiety that was making me feel this way i just thought it was me being a sickly young man.
As my behaviour changed and i started to withdraw myself from stressful situations i became more and more depressed. the dr then prescribed me anti depressants prothiaden if i remember rightly. they didnt really do much and i really felt awful about taking meds for the first time because i didnt know how they would affect me. the dr eventually put me on effexor venlafaxine which seemed to do the trick. i wouldn't say it was the easiest thing to come off though, brain zaps are a killer and can really take it out of you.
I went to a counsellor who introduced CBT to me and I half paid attention adn it had some good talking to someone who understood my problem and could actually relate to it. I realised throught this process that work was a large stressor and i was being bullied on the work place. I think that this was the trigger for my depression and anxiety.
After some meeting at work i got things sorted there and things went sweety for a year. having a few spells here and there but nothing major.
Then came the breakdown. I just brokedown one day at work when i was placed back with the bully one more and enough was enough. i was off for two months at work and pump full of more drugs and therapy. i started to realise that the past few years had turned me into a negative person and i had to relearn the way i thought. i had no trust in anyone and found it hard to confide in people after what had happend. I eventually got back to work then a couple of months later i was stabbed in the back and made a scape goat which tipped me further over the edge. i was then off for 5 months. I was at my lowest point.
I had recent;y split from my partner of 3 years too which was hard. I had to attend a self help group. i advise people to do that because its great. I realised throdugh this that you really have to tread through the treacle and battle with yourself and give the cbt thing a real good go. Positive thinking has helped me a great deal. Exercise has also helped me an awful lot. not only do i look alot better i feel alot better about myself. Self help guide and Good books are essential, susan jeffers is a legend and feel the fear and do it anyway should be on everyones book shelf. with the help from many special friend and my new amazing partner and my brilliant family i have managed to successfully return to work and face my demons and slay a few while i was at it. I have also applied to go back to university and train to become a teacher. People should also keep a diary and i think that, that is extremely i,mportant. I know its something we have to live with but we can help ourselves an awful lot more than we may first realise. everone has it in them to become stronger and deal with these problems.
I feel that i can deal with life a lot better now even though i am not 100% but everyone has the odd day don't they
don't hesitate to ask questions im here to help!!
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