Been having panic attacks since march this year but recently have been feeling a lot better after doctor started me on medication, felt almost back to normal..I'm a nurse and managed ok at work in new ward until yesterday.Everyone was talking about london all day and saying scotland would be next because of G8 here but I kept calm ok. Then at 2pm we were told to evacuate the hospital at first non essential staff and visitors. Immediatly I lost the plot and said we should all get out and get the patients out cos we would all die was crying and shaking.The nurse in charge was disgusted with me and told me to getr out I was no help/managed to clam down then was told to get the patients out after all. It was chaos there wasent enough chairs we are on 8th floor and had to use lifts, I got 2 people out then had to go back to ward to stay with the remainder who were too ill to move. I was totally useless and having a major panic attack the whole time being trapped on the 8th floor made it worse. Eventually it turned out a false alarm. Got into major trouble, told I am not fit to work on a ward get home and think twice about coming back look at the state of me. What made it worse is that being a new ward they dont know what i used to be like very reliable and good in an emergency. I know it is true i am no use as a nurse anymore if only this hadent happened i think i could have got better. Now I feel such a coward and a failure for letting everyone down I didentd want to react in that way but the panic took over. i feel I have nothing to come expet unemployment, panic attacks etc I was so upset about what happened in london I know my troubles is nothing compared to that. I try to be positive and think at least everyone is ok it wasent a real bomb but i am so ashamed of myself. Sorry for moaning thought it might help to talk about it.i dont know what to do now I know i cant go back to nursing you need people calm in a crisis.
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