Bad day

[bubles]

I have just joined this site and wanted to get some of my feelings off my chest with people who may understand.
I have contamination OCD. I have had some CBT and Clomipramine and was managing things ok. However, I am having some medical treatment which means I had to try to stop the Clomipramine and I am under a huge amount of stress. My OCD has accordingly worsened.OCD is so cruel it kicks you when you are down. I had to restart the Clomipramine earlier in the week. I feel overwhelmed by the OCD and am doing all the things you are not supposed to do ie seeking reassurance and shouting at the OCD.
Today has been a nightmare for me, its the time of the month ( a nightmare every month for me) and I accidently while trying hard not to touch a sanitary towel bin at work touched the inside of the lid of the bin where you put offending articles. I washed my hands with normal soap immediately and then used some alcohol gel but I have been in such a state tonight and am scared I will not be able to stop the thoughts and anxiety about the bin. Blood and toilets are my nemesis.

[sallad]

I totally understand. I know how freaked out you must feel. You are not alone. I have Ocd too. I have a really hard time once a month too. You will get through this. You will be okay. I promise. Concentrate on your breathing and think about how you are just like a lot of us.

[HighwayMiles]

Oh, I know just how you feel. Well, slightly different, but similar enough. You just have to tell yourself it's going to be okay because it really is. You washed your hands. I'm sure you washed very very well, as we all do. It's okay. It really is. It's okay. I know that probably doesn't help, but it's what you'd tell your own friend if she came to you with the problem you're having. If things like that were really so dangerous, no one would become a trash collector or janitor or nurse or doctor. But they do. And they're well most of the time. And this is just one little incident, not a lifetime of it. So you will be fine.

I twist myself into knots over things, too. A few months ago I opened a package of raw chicken and was foolishly talking to someone as I did it and I'm convinced a droplet of raw chicken juice hit my lip. I freaked out, as you might imagine. I gargled with cherry vodka because it was nearby, then wiped my whole face with it, then rubbed moistened sugar over my lips to try to exfoliate them, then took a shower and I was STILL convinced I was going to get salmonella. I even looked up what percentage of chicken is tainted with salmonella and then researched the brand to see if they might have a better track record than other companies...

So you see, I do it too. I never did get salmonella, but there's always tomorrow. *sigh*

If you really dislike your period that much there are ways to avoid it. Just get on a low dose birth control pill and stay on it without taking any off-weeks. Doctors recommend you still allow yourself 4 periods a year, but that's still better than every month.

[bubles]

Thanks so much for the support it was so good to hear from people who undertand. The thoughts about the bin have subsided now. I am still doing a daily battle with my OCD like I'm sure everyone is on this forum. Best wishes to everyone.