You lot make me sick

[Starsky]

Thanks for all the replies

[rgb76]

Hi Starsky

I'm sorry that you feel this way. I have some social anxiety amongst other anxities! I don't know if I can I give you any advice but I think it's the constant comparing that we do: Am I good enough? What do they think of me? I'm gonna be laughed at/they're taking the mickey etc.; There are people worse off than me why can't I cope? Etc. etc.

At the moment I am trying to do at least one thing each day that I can be proud of even if I muck up other things. You're just a valid a human-being as anyone else.

Hope this helps a little

take care

rgb76

[BNCfan]

Yes Starsky, I'm very much awake and I can identify so much with how you feel. I have cut myself off from the world due to social phobia and agoraphobia among others. Like you I had any feelings of 'self' knocked out of me at an early age and I wish I could wave a damn magic wand and make it all OK. When I first joined this site I too had my doubts about whether I'd done the right thing and considered 'walking away', as I have done from everything else in my life. It's bound to have increased your anxiety levels having the courage to join this site, don't give up now. You are safe here, nobody is going to judge you or punish you. We are here to support you. I know all too well how difficult it is to learn to trust after years of trauma, but you've taken the hardest step, which is the first one. Stay around and you will find friends here if you give us a chance - believe me, I know that's not as easy as it sounds.

[alias_kev]

Anxiety and any sort of phobia (even social anxiety/phobia) are very good at spreading and infitrating into other parts of our lives. So its not surprising that your's is trying to take you away from here.

Really though, from what you tell us your only choice is to try and fight it and stay with us or somewhere like us. You don't seem to have many other avenues left. Another choice might be a charity that does help by phone.

Do you think its posting and (at it were) exposing yourself adding to your fear? In that case I'd strongly suggest that you just ride along with us just reading posts and advice. Read the help sheets here and other places.

Remember - if you find some people posting you identify with you can have a private conversation via Private Messages (PMs).

Take care what ever you decide.

[paula im me]

hey starsky well you have made it this far which is really good. i too for 6 years suffered and had agrophobia so can understand with you. i am however able to go out door and to certain places. i have a meeting with lots of friends in 3 weeks and im dreading it, am so scared im panicking already so your not the only one. im new here but so far the guys are very welcoming and full of good advice. i hope that seeing all these replies helps u a little bit xx

[NervousNellie]

Hi!

I don't usually post on this board, but I saw your post and wanted to tell you something.

My sister-in-law used to suffer from a terrible social phobia. It got to the point where she couldn't even go to work anymore - and she had a steady job for years, it wasn't something new. We don't know how she developed this phobia, it just struck her one day.

To make a long story short, she overcame it. It took a while but she did it. She now has a husband and they just had their first baby. She was in rough shape, but she did it. And you can too!!

[Meewah]

Starsky

I suffer from SA too. I have dizziness and various other Anx symptoms when ever I am in a social situation. The strange thing is, I know this might sound weird, but apart from the physical symptoms I do not feel any different than any other situation.

I took up Buddhist meditation for relaxation but as yourself I have found that dealing with my inner demons hard, all I can say is that once you have reached rock bottom you start to climb back up the other side. Buddhist meditation has shown me a skill of relaxing my mind but yet watching what happens in my mind. I have learnt a lot about myself and how I react in different situations. This initially made my Anx much worse but perseverance kept me going. It has shown me that we all are suffering and has given me great compassion towards all others. I feel as if I haven't met anyone who is not suffering with anxiety, fear, pain. This has made me stop thinking about me and start thinking about the bigger picture. For the first time I have been more concerned with my doctor than they were of me, strange!!!

I also know what you mean when you say you have been worse since been on here. Its almost like being at the doctors all the time. I ration my time on hear to keep my anxiety down. I will say that if you explore ways of exploring yourself, it hurts, but you will climb the other side and be happier with yourself for the experience.

It will take a lot of hard work and personal therapy but you will be much better.

Hope some of this helps...

Mee

[Archaeopteryx]

I can relate to almost everything you say. I used to have a 'forum-phobia' if I could call it that . It made me worry about my font, my words, my sig the way my social phobia made me worry about my clothes, my hair, etc.

My problem is I have quite severe social phobia and I'm terrified of coming into contact with people, it's so bad it makes me feel physically sick when I come here.

Also, I used to think exactly this same thought:

I'm ashamed and embarrassed - people have much worse problems than I have but they get on with their lives.

Anyway, I'll tell you what worked for me. You say:

is there anybody with extreme social phobia posting here?

Well, I DID have this extreme phobia. I was essentially afraid of all social interactions, except maybe with my mom and dad!
But that all changed. I'm not claiming that I'm the most social person in the world, but I'm leading a fairly normal life and I still have goals for my future.

Failing in the past doesn't mean you will keep on failing forever. I know it's incredibly hard, but I think the first thing you need is to "plant" hope in your life. Try to change the way you treat yourself. No! I mean DECIDE to change that! Find something that you are good at and do it.

"Treat yourself as if you are your best friend." I like saying that often


^ ^
you yourself

If your friend had a similar problem, think of what you might say to him. I'm sure you wouldn't beat him up for having a problem.

And I tell you lots of people have no idea how it feels to be 'socially anxious' (They think they do but they don't), so don't worry if you meet someone who thinks you are exaggerating things, and that you just need to 'pull yourself together'. It's never that simple, but its not impossible either.

Well, the first step for me was that I 'decided' to have hope. I didn't have to feel it. I just had enough with feeling hopeless and giving hope.

I thought that I had nothing to loose so I believed it was a good thing to try this unconditional hope. And guess what? It worked.

Anyway, relax and don't worry and of course to the board.

[Dominic1975]

Hi

I dont have any advise as I dont suffer with such extreme social phobia... I just wanted to say, that I think you should continue with posting on this website and going to your doctors and trying every bit of help, support or medication that can be given to you
I know its difficult, but at least with the web, you arent face to face with someone and therefore are still safe
I dont really know what to say, I wish i could be of more use

[PUGLETMUM]

hi, i want to say that you can get better, i am also a social anxiety sufferer, but i have learnt to live with it - but i would second what the others say, you could see your doctor again, and you could give mindfullness a go - which is based on buddhist meditation, and is helping me immensly and i have been feeling pretty grim lately, but it does work. like someone else said you are not alone and ppl do want to be your friend and help you to overcome this fear. you are not alone, and you ARE important no matter what has happened in your life