Anxiety: Depersonalization and Derealization

[mestys]

Thanks for your reply guys. It's such a weird sensation, I've been so much better these past 2-3 weeks. My anxiety has subsided a lot and the DP/DR has also subsided along with it. I still get it every now and again but I just put it to the back of my mind and it seems to do the job. The trick is to distract yourself, I know this can be difficult when you're going through an anxious time but it seems to be the only way to help. The more and more you distract yourself and keep your mind busy the less anxious you will be and DP/DR will ease off. The trick is to stop thinking all the time and start living and go with the flow. Easier said than done of course.

[leon_telford]

I just 'feel like I'm not alive and don't exist' when I get it, thankfully very rare I do.

As someone else summed up we are always thinking, hence we can't go into auto pilot mode like people who don't suffer from it.

Just feels like I can't touch anything and bascially I'm nothing and everything around me is nothing, just like it some kind of make believe 'World' inside my head.

If that makes sense?

[BasilCat]

Thanks Charles, I have just seen the video. I must say I like your explanation of DP/DR. However, I have also read somewhere that its all because, in a panic/anxiety state, we are always focussing inwards and worrying about how we feel, scanning for any symptoms etc and with all that inward thinking, focussing on ourselves, is there any wonder that we are detached from "the world". Also, our minds are tired with all that focussing on ourselves and that adds to the problem too. So maybe DP/DR is caused by a bit of what you say and a bit of what I have said above?

Shirley

[BasilCat]

Hi Charles, I was just sending you a PM but it told me that your mail box is full and will not accept anymore messages untill some are deleted.

Shirley

[CharlesLinden]

Thanks Charles, I have just seen the video. I must say I like your explanation of DP/DR. However, I have also read somewhere that its all because, in a panic/anxiety state, we are always focussing inwards and worrying about how we feel, scanning for any symptoms etc and with all that inward thinking, focussing on ourselves, is there any wonder that we are detached from "the world". Also, our minds are tired with all that focussing on ourselves and that adds to the problem too. So maybe DP/DR is caused by a bit of what you say and a bit of what I have said above?

Shirley

You are probably right. I think the physiology of it is one thing, but how you react to it is another. I learned over time, to apply the same principles as when experiencing tooth ache or other chronic pain... I just learned, not to ignore it, but to project my consciousness through it! If you can do that, it's of great benefit. Let's be real here, it's going to be there like it or not, until the anxiety is eliminated, might as well 'carry on as normal'!

C

[Katie27jt]

I get almost 'out of body experiences' like I am on the ceiling looking down on myself. Its most extreme when im really stressed or anxious, but it can happen any time, it can be very sary!

[BasilCat]

Hi Charles, I agree, the unreality is going to be there wether we like it or not so we may as well "carry on as normal".
I had my 4th breakdown in July 2006 and have had anxiety/unreality ever since. 2 years ago and even a year ago, I was a real mess.

A) Darent drive more than 2 miles into town in my car
B) Darent leave the car when I got into town!!
C) Would not dream of crossing a road in case I could not get back to the car in time
D) Would not go anywhere with my kids in case I could not cope with how I was feeling.
E) Would not get in a car with someone else in case I could not just leave or come home when I wanted to.
etc etc etc.

But since then, I have pushed myself and pushed myself in the direction of normality. Its not been easy, not one bit. It has been extremely difficult. But I persisted.

I started going into town in the car and walking further and further away from it and into the shops. I walked round the shops for weeks and weeks feeling really bad and hiding my tears but it has payed off in the end. It took time though.

I started driving a bit further, then further and making my trips longer, slowly but surely, so that I would gain some confidence.

I started going to Mc Donalds for an ice- cream with the kids, then extending that, bit by bit, so I could walk round the park or town with them.

And I have even had short trips with friends in their cars.

The best thing is that I have gone from not driving at all when I had the breakdown, to driving the 55 miles to my parents with hubby in the passenger seat.

But now I am approx 90% cured. Not only have I pushed myself the way I mention above but I now do voluntary work and go to college. I even went to a wedding last week and I enjoy going out for a coffee with my mate to near by garden centres etc.

On Saturday I went to a couple of garden centres with hubby in his car - he drove. We were gone from the house for about 2 hours. Now I had got into the habit of asking him for the keys if I ever dared go anywhere in the car with him, so I could run back to it and hide if I felt really bad. But on Saturday I could not be bothered asking for them!

Oh and I can even get on a bus into town too. Its only 10 minutes away but the point is that if I go on the bus, I am well away from both the car and the house, so no-where to run to if I feel rough! So far I have managed alright.

None of the above has been easy and I have even wondered at times if it would be better if I was "no longer here" but I have nearly come through to the other end. I know just how scary anxiety can be and I have felt just like Katie above with the unreality.

But we can all get over this. It may take time but it can be done.

Best Wishes.
Shirley

[CharlesLinden]

Excellent Shirley. Well done. Charles

[BasilCat]

Thanks Charles. My next challenge is to drive to my parents on my own (just as I used to before the breakdown) or with the kids. I am thinking I will do it at Easter and if I do, it will be the first time I have driven to my parents without hubby in exactly 3 years. 2 years ago, I never dreamt I would ever drive again, let alone go down the motorway to my parents!!! If I can do it with hubby sitting there, I can do it without him being there. Goodness only knows, this last 2.5 years (Since July 2006) have been a massive challenge and I have had setbacks too. Bad ones. But I am getting there.

Shirley

[CharlesLinden]

Thanks Charles. My next challenge is to drive to my parents on my own (just as I used to before the breakdown) or with the kids. I am thinking I will do it at Easter and if I do, it will be the first time I have driven to my parents without hubby in exactly 3 years. 2 years ago, I never dreamt I would ever drive again, let alone go down the motorway to my parents!!! If I can do it with hubby sitting there, I can do it without him being there. Goodness only knows, this last 2.5 years (Since July 2006) have been a massive challenge and I have had setbacks too. Bad ones. But I am getting there.

Shirley

Remember, agoraphobia and anxiety are emotional responses and have no relationship to geographic location so it doesn't matter where you are in the world, or who you are with, you are not connected to anyone or anything that can 'help' you. HOWEVER, you always have YOU there with you! Does that make sense? C