flat as a pancake.....................

[Paddington]

I am not sure where to start really.I have sufferd with bouts of depression before..i think i forget how low it makes you feel.It has been goingon for months if i am honest..but i just pretend all the time that i am alright..but then it gets to the point where i cant hide it as i cry easily or spend hours just staring at the floor.It's been a weird couple of months too..i was so ill b4 xmas ..and just carried on [as we tend to do]then my dog Bessie had to be put to sleep on the 4th of jan..and it was so awful and i havent grieved properly ikeep trying to push it to the back of my mind and think she is still here..but she is not 14 years is a long time to have a pet..and i miss her daft face and fluffy feet.I think i am trying to keep a lid on everythingand am woried that i will go loopy ..my anxiety levels are so high all thetime ..even waking me up with awful surges of ..well not sure waht it is but it makes me want to scream out loud i cant sleep either..and i get scared and jumpy at night now Bess is not here.I have been listening to hypnotherapy cd's which help to a certain extent..but i have weird thoughts ..is this normal..??I think there are bad spirits in my room looming over me..like a big black cloud i can sense it, it is so frightening.Has anyone else had these thought s/feelings??I will stop blithering on now..it's just soooo good to talk,to write it down you know?I dont want to go on tablets..but any other tips would be a great help or just to know i am not alone Thanks.Love Paddie.xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[fed up with it]

Hi, just wanted to say how sorry i am for your loss, it is really painful to lose a pet, i lost my dog in 2005 after having her for 16 years it was so hard. I have other pets 6 cats and now a new dog whos nearly 3. I also have a border collie pup i am fostering. I am too suffering from anxiety and what they say is mild depression feels really bad to me, there is a nice web site you can join and post a tribute under rainbow bridge its www.dogpages.org. There is also other things to look at on there for something to focus on. hope your ok today, from carol

[Paddington]

Bless you for your lovely reply Carol My Bess was a border collie too I will check out that site too ,thank you so much for being so kind.Love Paddie.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[fed up with it]

Hi the border collie i am looking after came to me at 8 weeks old really ill and now he is a mad as they come and the snow has sent him crazy! no he is lovely but i am becoming attached to him and am in danger of keeping him i already have a yorkie x. The pain i felt after losing my dog was really bad i had so bonded with her even when i had my two daughters i could'nt wait to get home to her. things will get easier i posted on that forum and just like to look at the dogs needing homes etc.

[ade]

(((((((((((((((((((paddie)))))))))))))))))))))))
oceans of love to you honey bee
so sorry for your loss,when i lost my beloved cat Cider,i stood in the vets in my bike leathers and sobbed like a lost baby,

ade xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[nervouswreck]

Paddie .. so sorry to hear of your loss i too lost my beloved border collie aged 16. that was 5 years ago and i still think of him daily .. the only advice i can give is that it does get easier.You never get over it but do learn to live with it ..take each day as it comes hunny ! there is plenly of websites on the net to help with how you feel .. if you ever want a chat then please feel free to pm me . thinking of you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[sunshine-lady]

Hi Paddington.

So sorry to hear about the very sad loss of your beloved Bessie. I know only too well how hard it is to lose a dog. I volunteer for a Greyhound rescue and have 4 of my own dogs and always have a foster dog too. Even letting go of a foster dog who I have had for a few months can be very difficult even though I know they are going to a good home, I have 2 'failed foster dogs' One came as a puppy 4 years ago and another came 3 years ago - they are both still here! 14 years with a dog is a very long time and you must allow yourself to grieve, things will get easier, but you will never forget Bessie.

Bessie will be running free at the Rainbow Bridge.

Maybe it would be a good idea for you to pop along to see your GP, especially as you are not sleeping and are feeling so low.

Take care xxx

[Karen]

Hugs Paddie

I know how much you adored Bessie and how hard it is for you now she's gone. You've also been through some rough times lately which is all likely to take its toll.

You know where I am hun if you need to talk and that I'm here for you

Karen xx

[Piglet]

Pads only just seen this thread hun - I'm not on the site very much at all at the moment cos I'm immersed in 'arty' things etc but wanted to give you a massive hug.

I think you are being a bit hard on yourself over Bessie love - I'm not even particularly 'animally' but even I can see how much losing her would impact on you. We lost our rabbit last April (remember) and we'd had him for about 10 years and I wept and wept about it and he wasn't even a house rabbit.

Dogs (well pets in general) are just like humans (in furry form) and have exactly the same importance in our lives. I think you need to grieve properly here - you've lost a dear dear companion and putting greiving to one side will just not do darling!!!! If you don't it will come back to bite you on the bum sometime soon anyway. What could you do to cherish her memory - could you create a little alter with some special mementoes either in the house or garden???

I had just the most horrible time this time last year with my anxiety levels (as you well know) so I really feel for you but it will pass and in the meantime if you can find some pleasurable distractions to take you out of you for little bits at a time it does help.

Here on the phone if you want to talk.

Love Piglet

[Paddington]

thanks starlight,karen and piglet too I may talk with a dr ..mine is retiring in april so will have a new one..not sure whether this is good or bad as i am worried the new dr will stop my diazapam And althought i take it very rarely[tho more of late!!]..i like to know i can if i need to.
Piglet i have made a shrine to Bessie on my table..i have her ashes in a lovely wooden box..two glass angels praying at each end of it..and for my birthfday my mom bought me a characterisation of a collie dog statue ..so she is standing on the table too..with flowers and a candle...
Starlight hun..my depression is the same as yours...horrible isnt it I hope you are ok at the moment..thanks you guys for replying...i am sure it will pass .love Paddie.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx