yeas me again, i prob get my own page next called the ups and down of the darkphantom
Im still getting alot of messages of love and support which are helping me so much.
the last 3 days have been pretty bad, doc wont give me anymore diazpan as he said im getting addicted to them, so the nights when i need them are pretty bad, i have been drinking alot as well now. i had a alchol problem not long ago so bit worried.
Then to top it all, went to sit on our old bench and table but the wood had rotted, I got nice bump on head which prob did me some goodbut fell on my bad hand, so now got a lovely briuse on that now :(
Last night was pretty bad cause i thought i had lost someone special, so i drank all day, then was going to go swimming with the ducks, (cant swim), but silly me it was my fault my friend had been trying to ring and text, but i had fiddled with the phone and did something to it. silly me.
My friend was so great and supportive on phone she talked to me for couple of hours, i thought i could never trust and love another person after what others have done to me, but you all have been so special, i wont to tell you my friends name because she is so special and so caring but i will ask her first,
i dont know what i would of done without her lately, couple times i felt like giving up she is always there to pick me up give me a hug and put me on the little steps road, and sometimes kick my buttI meeting her next week i really looking forward to it it will be the first time I have gone out to meet anyone in over two years, im going to have a fun couple of days and smile all the time.
You all be proud, i finally threw away the suicide how to do clips that i been saving. I found a better way, when you down sometimes you dont feel like turning computor on, so i have written down alot of your support to me in a couple books one i keep in the car the other at home, and my friends poems they with me all the time they are beautiful, so now when im lonely or down, i get my book out and read and think of all you, then i dont feel alone, and it stops any bad thoughts cause i dont want to break my promise to you all. I fighting hard it been about 5 weeks now since i have od, and it all down to all of you for making me smile and feel loved and wanted, your all better than my care team. for all you and my special special friend x im taking 4 steps forward today. Sorry this long one just love all you big thankyou, please dont leave me love you all so much xxxxxxxxxx
susie[:X]
Reply With Quote
