Near death experience's

[RobertFlyde]

From reading peoples post's, i read allot of how people thought they were going to die etc. I myself have used this term on many occasions when i first had panic attacks......

This made me wonder whether anyone has any near death experiences. I have been in two car crashes, once in a taxi in Burnley and once on my way home from a football match. Fortunately i walked away from both and was not the fault of the taxi driver or my dad who driving the other time as both times someone decided to plough in to the side and back of us whilst stationary. No one was really hurt, although the taxi incident in Burnley was quite scary as my friend got taken away on a spine board........But was he was ok.....

But my only other near death experience happened on 11th may 1985. I was at the Bradford city football club fire. I was only 8 at the time and this was my first ever game. I was sat in the main stand where the fire started. I was only a few blocks away from where the fire started. It was supposed to be a day of triumph but ended in tragedy, this was because we had won the division 3 championship and was meant to be a day of celebration etc but the day ended with 56 football fans losing their lives.

I still remember to this day what happened and how i got out of the stand. I remember being pulled over the wall at the front of the stand and getting on the pitch and looking back at the main stand engulfed with flames and thinking i was sat in that stand and now its virtually gone.

One of the worst bits was for my mum and family, me my dad and brother were at the game and she didn’t know our whereabouts etc. and we didn’t have a car and so had to get the bus home. I remember sat on the bus and seeing the flames and smoke and a sense of numbness. Eventually we got home and my mum was relived to see us.

Fortunately this never put me or my family going to football matches ever again. I have been going now regularly for 18 years and have been to 63 different football grounds. Im now in my 14th year as a season ticket holder and recently purchased a 25 year ticket.....

When the anniversary comes around in may i get quite sad and pay my respects to the people who lost their lives. On the last home game of the season the club always has a minutes silence before the game and that brings a lump to my throat and a tear in my eye.

As you may understand it's not something i talk or as a Bradford fan talk about regularly, but i wanted to share what happened with you all.

Thanks for reading and listening.



Take Care

Robert Flyde

[uryjm]

Robert
I think you're doing really well to have coped with this trauma. I was suffering from anxiety and struggling to come to terms with it when Lockerbie happened. Living in Scotland, and driving past the place regularly, it did affect me despite the fact I wasn't really personally involved. One thing anxiety and panic has made me do is face up to that emotional side of my personality and allow it more breathing space. Being sensitive isn't a bad thing, really. We're not all Vinnie Jones!

Jim

[Meg]

It's very true that if emotion isn't expressed or relased at or near the time , then it does emerge sometime at a later date often often in a different form.
Ie grief can emerge as anger or anxiety.

A good cry or hysterical laughter, a good screaming session on a windy beach in winter- whenever it feels right- releases many pent up emotions and energies and minimises wierd reactions later.


Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[Lottie32]

That is so true.

When I was depressed I used to get up really early in the morning, go up to see my horse, get him tacked up, and go for an early morning ride around the lanes.

Usually the sun had just risen, and there was dew on the ground and in the hedgerow, and you could see it sparkling on the cobwebs in the bushes, like little diamonds.

There would still be rabbits hopping around, and the birds would be singing, and we would get on the grass verge and gallop flat out up the hill, till my eyes stung with tears and I couldn't see where I was going. Unfortunately, it disturbed all the wildlife, the rabbits and the birds fled, and the cobwebs got broken, but god, did I feel better.

Sadly, my old horse is too old and knac***ed to ride now, and I don't have the same bond with any of the others.

I really miss being able to do it, it was a fantastic way of "letting go" and my horse stopped me feeling lonely, as I felt like I had company.

When my gran died recently, I went up to "see" my horse in the middle of the night. He "flumpped" at me, rested his head on my shoulder, and blew warm air down my neck. I gave him a big hug, and he never once moaned about the tears and mucous on his neck!

Meg is right, you feel so much better for "letting go", and it doesn't matter how you do it.

Charlie

[Laurie28]

Hiya all,

I'm luck that i have never had any major events in my life that have caused me grief. I do however have a terrible time 'letting go' and struggle greatly to show any emotions. I wish sometimes ui could have a good old howl and feel better, but i can't seem to do it. Does that mean there is something wrong with me??

lucky

[Lottie32]

Hi Lucky

No, I think thats quite normal. I can't cry when I should quite often, and end up crying when I don't want to.

The other weekend in the pub the singer sung American Pie. He sounded like Don Mclain and it reminded me of my dad, and I had to dash to the loo to have a big blub! Last weekend, I was on the computer listening to Robbie W and the last song on the new album, Nans Song came on. I suddenly felt desperatly sad, and really felt the need to cry, but the tears wouldn't work!

I think sometimes it's to do with being a private person. Although most of my friends know about my problems in general, I don't actually tell them when I'm feeling really bad, and disguise it, so they don't notice.

Not sure it does you any good though!

Charlie

[Meg]

Hi Lucky and Lottie,

We do spend lots of time being proud, brave and denying yourself of showing emotions so we teach ourselves not to just pour it all out... thus at times our behaviour doesn't match our mood.

It does come out eventually. Music is a such a huge trigger as are public shows of emotions ie Diana's death - lots of what followed her death had less to do with her and more to do with everyone 'being allowed' by society to grieve for whomever they needed to... If you spoke to people on the streets they said - I started thinking of my son/ sister/ colleague/neighbour and just couldn't stop crying .




Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[Samantha]

Hi Radar

I agree with the fact that todays society is taught to repress feelings like grief and sadness, but when ppl tell you to be 'strong' it ends up being bottled up. But how do we release this? My nan died 2 years ago and i have neva been able 2 let it out coz im more worried bout how it wuld effect ma familly! Now ive been advised for councelling...lol
Y does it take summin like Dians death 4 us to let it out, how come we cant let out r emotions in poublic wivout feelin guilty?

Sam



Positive thinkin is the key to the future

[Laurie28]

I remember when I was really bad and just been diagnosed with PND. I used to walk into my work every day smiling away and pretending everything was fine until one day I snapped and become hysterical. I had told my boss how i had been diagnosed as i was aware my work was suffering badly his reply was 'snap out of it-it doesn't exist' he then handed me a pile of more work and told me he was going home.

I ended up being off sick for 3 weeks.

I think 'putting a face on' didn't help me but sometimes it is the only way you can get through the day as i didn't want everyone knowing what was wrong in case they thought i was 'putting it on'

Having GAD has made me look at people alot more compassionetly and even though i wouldn't say i was a hard person before i think i wold certainly understand peoples [problems alot better now

lucky

[sarah]

Hi Lucky

i agree that I am more sympathetic to other people too now. After all, the cross, agitated lady in the supermarket of the speedy driver could be someone trying to escape panic. You never know eh? Just makes you look at things a bit more differently doesnt it?

love Sarah
xx