i am really paranoid about things, dont think it controls my life but definitely affects it. its always about things closest to me, i.e a relationship...i instantly assume the worst, that they gonna leave me, and i come to these conclusions because they dont return phone calls, they dont return a text and they may just be busy, but by the time they get in contact with me i have worked myself up into a frenzy, created a drama, it creates a row...they get angry at me, with every right, as they confused, my fear, my paranoia gets worse, and i am back in that vicious circle, until the person forgives me, i promise to them and myself i will never do it again, make all these promises that i mean...but never follow thru!! i am loosing people, i am making myself out to be weak, pathetic, irrational, nuts...when i know i am kind,fun to be with, means well...i am more concerned about others than i am myself.....aarggh...i feel stressed!! been prescribed my first anti depressants...paroxetine..short term right? i need to speak to a pro..i am rambling!