For BILL

[june]

you would not really like 'Utopia' Bill it would become boring you would have no problems (us) to help and nothing to stretch your busy mind
Bill, There is a lot of common sense in the last few posts - try to get out in the sunshine and listen to the birds - recharge your batteries.
I have been so bad that i have only left the house maybe one day a week (for necessities) today was one of those days and the sunshine was wonderful
Unfortunately I soon became tired because i am sooo unfit - but it was nice
Best wishes
June

[Bill]

Bill, There is a lot of common sense in the last few posts - try to get out in the sunshine and listen to the birds - recharge your batteries.
I have been so bad that i have only left the house maybe one day a week

A few years ago I considered doing the "right" thing but that was before I lost my father and my attitude towards life changed. Now I should accept what I can't change or have so as Dear June and the others rightly say, there are people here whose situations and problems are Far worse than mine so I'll stop keeping on and instead focus on posting things in the hope of helping others who are Really in need as helping others to smile always gives me a smile too!

I will leave all the armchair psychiatry to others

As Jaco I think realises, I don't make a good patient! I must confess I don't enjoy limelight either. I much prefer trying to help others.

I know Jaco wouldn't agree but I know I'm too soft and weak which are things I can't change about myself. I'm all in favour of finding personal enjoyment in life though providing it causes no harm to others but causing "avoidable" hurt is something I simply find impossible to do so I try my best to avoid it at all cost because I find it too hard to live with myself! I guess maybe I care "too" much about others and not enough about myself but my anxiety also prevents me from finding the strength to find lasting happiness for myself.

Anyway, that's enough on me. There are lovely people here who really need support who can be helped. I want to focus on them.

Thank you for caring though. xxxxxxxx

[Oceanblue]

Bill, There is a lot of common sense in the last few posts - try to get out in the sunshine and listen to the birds - recharge your batteries.
I have been so bad that i have only left the house maybe one day a week

A few years ago I considered doing the "right" thing but that was before I lost my father and my attitude towards life changed. Now I should accept what I can't change or have so as Dear June and the others rightly say, there are people here whose situations and problems are Far worse than mine so I'll stop keeping on and instead focus on posting things in the hope of helping others who are Really in need as helping others to smile always gives me a smile too!

I will leave all the armchair psychiatry to others

As Jaco I think realises, I don't make a good patient! I must confess I don't enjoy limelight either. I much prefer trying to help others.

I know Jaco wouldn't agree but I know I'm too soft and weak which are things I can't change about myself. I'm all in favour of finding personal enjoyment in life though providing it causes no harm to others but causing "avoidable" hurt is something I simply find impossible to do so I try my best to avoid it at all cost because I find it too hard to live with myself! I guess maybe I care "too" much about others and not enough about myself but my anxiety also prevents me from finding the strength to find lasting happiness for myself.

Anyway, that's enough on me. There are lovely people here who really need support who can be helped. I want to focus on them.

Thank you for caring though. xxxxxxxx

Bill - I'm really not having a dig at you, but it seems like you want to push everybody away, everybody is trying to help you because we care, why would we spend the time writing otherwise ? Of course you must want to be helped, and it seems that it just isn't the right time for you.

Also, in all honesty and I'm really not being rude here just realistic. Nobody can help anybody until we can help ourselves.


I can't talk for the others but it's clear that you do not want my help, but I will always try and support you when I can, but only if you want me to, if you don't want to be in the limelight, I'll stop posting on this thread, it's ok.


Much love xx

[Jaco45er]

Lol Bill, one down

[Oceanblue]

Lol Bill, one down

Not sure what you find so funny, but still

[Bill]

Oh Katie xxx

I honestly Didn't take what you or Emma etc said as a dig and I'm not trying to push people away either. I mean, you're Lovely so why should I try to do that? I didn't mean it like that sweet Katie.

The simple truth is like you've said, Nobody can help anybody until we can help ourselves.
I feel I Can't help myself so no one Can really help me Because I can't help myself so I need to stop keeping on about what I can't change because it's not fair on caring people like yourself.

Of course I would love to be helped and of course you're always welcome to post because I Know you care Very much and just want to help.

I can't change what I am sweet Katie, that's all, and so I don't feel I'm being fair to people like yourself for keeping on all the time! There are others who Can be helped so I feel they deserve more attention but of course I appreciate you caring. That's what makes you such a lovely person!!!

I'm Sorry Katie. I Really Didn't mean to upset or offend you or Emma etc. xxxxxxxxxx

[Oceanblue]

No worries Bill - Honest .

You have accepted that you aren't ready for help and change, that's fine. It's good that you're aware of that yourself, that's got to be something positive , although you're not ready to take any action just yet.

Bill - It's good to talk about your feelings though, even if you do feel like you're going on, that's ok. Somethings in peoples replies,.. down the line will help you to begin to break that chain, whether you notice it or not,.. even if it takes weeks, months or years. It will be broken and you will see the light again, as been said before it will take time. It didn't take you a day to become ill, unfortunately it won't take a day for you to become well again.

Keep talking Bill it's the best way, but if you feel that you can no longer do this, then I'm not going to pressurise you, it's entirely up to you what you feel is right for yourself.

I'll always support you and am wishing you the best in your recovery.

Sending love xx

Oh Katie xxx

I honestly Didn't take what you or Emma etc said as a dig and I'm not trying to push people away either. I mean, you're Lovely so why should I try to do that? I didn't mean it like that sweet Katie.

The simple truth is like you've said, Nobody can help anybody until we can help ourselves.
I feel I Can't help myself so no one Can really help me Because I can't help myself so I need to stop keeping on about what I can't change because it's not fair on caring people like yourself.

Of course I would love to be helped and of course you're always welcome to post because I Know you care Very much and just want to help.

I can't change what I am sweet Katie, that's all, and so I don't feel I'm being fair to people like yourself for keeping on all the time! There are others who Can be helped so I feel they deserve more attention but of course I appreciate you caring. That's what makes you such a lovely person!!!

I'm Sorry Katie. I Really Didn't mean to upset or offend you or Emma etc. xxxxxxxxxx

[tracy.splosh]

As you are very much aware Bill (i hope) im always here for you as i know you will be there for me. x

[Bill]

I've rarely got to sleep before 6am for quite a while now and I'm sure that has alot to do with how I'm feeling at present because everything that's wrong is then emphasised. I know though that there's a part of me that doesn't seem to care anymore and I'm sure that's part of this depressed state I'm in which I think maybe a reaction to everything that's gone wrong lately on here and at home. I think it's just a bad phase though. You know that feeling when you feel like curling up in an angels wings but you know you have no choice but to appear strong for the sake of others? In truth though I feel no one can really help me although I do think you're all Wonderful to care about me and support me as you have. There Are people on here though who are suffering Much more and who are having Much worse times than me so I do honestly feel they deserve more attention than me because as you say, it's up to me to change my life and how I feel but as I say, I can't so I just have to get on with it and get through this bad spell.

Dear Tracy , you are one such angel that flew in from what felt nowhere to offer your comforting wings and I'll Always appreciate your caring and extreme kindness you have shown me. The very least I can do in return is to hopefully always be around to support you too for being the angel that you are. As I've already told you, if real life angels exist, they must be in your image because there could be no finer example. If the world was full of angels like you, the world would indeed be a Happy place to live! I don't know what I've done to deserve your care and support but I Am Extremely grateful to you and always will be!

[Oceanblue]

I've rarely got to sleep before 6am for quite a while now and I'm sure that has alot to do with how I'm feeling at present because everything that's wrong is then emphasised. I know though that there's a part of me that doesn't seem to care anymore and I'm sure that's part of this depressed state I'm in which I think maybe a reaction to everything that's gone wrong lately on here and at home. I think it's just a bad phase though. You know that feeling when you feel like curling up in an angels wings but you know you have no choice but to appear strong for the sake of others? In truth though I feel no one can really help me although I do think you're all Wonderful to care about me and support me as you have. There Are people on here though who are suffering Much more and who are having Much worse times than me so I do honestly feel they deserve more attention than me because as you say, it's up to me to change my life and how I feel but as I say, I can't so I just have to get on with it and get through this bad spell.

Dear Tracy , you are one such angel that flew in from what felt nowhere to offer your comforting wings and I'll Always appreciate your caring and extreme kindness you have shown me. The very least I can do in return is to hopefully always be around to support you too for being the angel that you are. As I've already told you, if real life angels exist, they must be in your image because there could be no finer example. If the world was full of angels like you, the world would indeed be a Happy place to live! I don't know what I've done to deserve your care and support but I Am Extremely grateful to you and always will be!

Bill, I realise this part of the message wasn't to me, but the world can be a Happy place to live, once you've got past this darkness of depression, you'll soon see that there is in fact much more good around than there is bad.

When you say there are many more people around with far more problems than yourself, well when you're stuck in depression this is no consolution to your own feelings. Your need is just as much too. But it's ok,.. I will back down because as you've explained you're not ready for any action just yet, but i'll still help support.

Hey,.. it's a beautiful day today, the sun's shining and the skies blue . We're off out to the South Coast with the kids, it'll be nice to spend sometime together outside all day after the recent cold weather.

Have a nice day Bill, and hope you feel better soon.
xx