feel like giving up

[darkphantom]

Hi
I been of drink since friday, it been nightmare, trouble is i so down i got to go to the docs now cause ive had bad pains round liver and tum, i really hope she will put me down,
i think some of you have given up on me. I been taken diazpan which had hidden, but i running low need to get some more aint seen this doc before so hope she give me some.
you all gona be mad now with me, i got taken off insulin cause i wasnt eating, then doc put me on it again, ........ i sorry i havent taken it for over 2 months, i sorry it away i self harm without no one seeing what i do, i just cant do it, i know i end up in hospital like last time. but i bad and need to hurt. i also been watching bad movies with people hurting and cutting to give me ideas, this i did when i ended up with od, everyone says ive gone into my quiet period which aint good, i also go walk or drive about out the way and do things.
i just feel i be better out the way, i just cant get out this hole.
im a spiritulist and believe in the afterlife and recarnation, i sorry but the afterlife looks so good, and the body im in now is bad need to get out of it.
lea talked to me for hours last nite she is great i just wish she was close to me here.
i just feel i losing it again i aint happy i just wish someone was close enough to me here to help, just go for a walk or chat, i hating these days . i sorry i just so down, suppose better go to doc dont know why but i promised lea.
i sorry i a let down, guess you all give up on me now.
i sorry just dont feel good i need my dad right this minute should of been me not him he was good and everyone loved him im loser waste of space,
i go upset wish this would end
love you all
susie

[seh1980]

hi Susie,

No one here has given up on you, ok? We are all cheering you on!! Well done for being off the drink since Friday - that alone is something you should be very proud of!! It will get easier as time passes though I can imagine it's a struggle right now. You are doing great so please don't give up!! We are here if you need us, ok? Best wishes.

Sarah

"Life is too important to take seriously" Corky Siegal

[darkphantom]

Thanks sarah,
i need you all please help me get through this. i been to docs, she not happy, i got internal infection which making me feel yuk, and cause of bleed got have smear as last one was adnormal, she looked at my hand and i got go back to hospital as it still not right. and got have more blood test cause i stopped insulin she said this could cause problem with the fighting the infection, then she said got to take it easy cause my bodys trying to heal. she put me on anti bioticts, and anti depressants again, but only allowed a weeks supply at a time. this isnt helping i just finding it so hard. just feel like i gona crack.

i know i asking lot but can you all help me i want get better but cant get back on that road .
they wont give me more diazpan i begged her to they mean doc dont want me to get better.
please help me get pass this feel so down
love you all
susie

[bluesparkle]

hello
being off the drink is a very good start... and well done for doing it since friday...that alone is a positive step.
seh is right we are all here for you... and we understand what it is like to be desperate but you say you want to get better....well thats a very good start...
hang on in there
thinking of you
rach

[darkphantom]

thanks guys
i still trying hard, i been pacing the room alot to day, i feel real hot and my heart is racing.
i been reading my pyschic books and there is bit in one of them when you want to be with loved ones theres something you can do and you always with them and i cant get it out my mind. i tried to do things today but cant, my course work are late going off to my tutors,
I think im gona have to go dopey again to night to get me through . doc says cant go off on my own and got to tell ppl where i go. sorry got to post or i gona go mad.
love you
all
susie

[Meg]

You post - thats fine- you keep occupied

I hope you're managing to keep your blood sugars stable as if they are way out of kilter you will feel really panicky and just dreadful anyway.

What course are you doing ?



Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[Piglet]

Susie

While you are feeling this grotty just take only one day at a time.

You've done so well with the not drinking since Fri that's a brill acheivement.

It will pass, good times will come again - we are all here for support.

Big hugs

Piglet

[leo05]

hey susie WELL DONE FOR STAYING OFF THE DRINK i know you can do it
when you say you have been reading your books on how to be with someone you love i know what you are going on about and i dont want you to do it as you are worth a lot more trust me i have told you stuff that none of my family know about

just think on 20th august you will be with me again for a wkend packed with fun [8D]

i am always here for you no matter what you have done or what you do ok

well done for going to the docs as well as i know it was hard for you but now you just have to get your self well cause i love ya to much to lose you as i told you the other day if i lose you it will be lie losing my mam all over again (((( hug ))))

dont watch the programmes that give you ideas as they not helping you are they?

well just wanted to say i am really PROUD of YOU because you are now on your fourth days but you must try to keep up with insulin and eat and stop taking pills (only take them when you are suppose to and the right dose ok)

speak soon

lea [8D]

[Rexzooly]

Hi
I been of drink since friday, it been nightmare, trouble is i so down i got to go to the docs now cause ive had bad pains round liver and tum, i really hope she will put me down,
i think some of you have given up on me. I been taken diazpan which had hidden, but i running low need to get some more aint seen this doc before so hope she give me some.
you all gona be mad now with me, i got taken off insulin cause i wasnt eating, then doc put me on it again, ........ i sorry i havent taken it for over 2 months, i sorry it away i self harm without no one seeing what i do, i just cant do it, i know i end up in hospital like last time. but i bad and need to hurt. i also been watching bad movies with people hurting and cutting to give me ideas, this i did when i ended up with od, everyone says ive gone into my quiet period which aint good, i also go walk or drive about out the way and do things.
i just feel i be better out the way, i just cant get out this hole.
im a spiritulist and believe in the afterlife and recarnation, i sorry but the afterlife looks so good, and the body im in now is bad need to get out of it.
lea talked to me for hours last nite she is great i just wish she was close to me here.
i just feel i losing it again i aint happy i just wish someone was close enough to me here to help, just go for a walk or chat, i hating these days . i sorry i just so down, suppose better go to doc dont know why but i promised lea.
i sorry i a let down, guess you all give up on me now.
i sorry just dont feel good i need my dad right this minute should of been me not him he was good and everyone loved him im loser waste of space,
i go upset wish this would end
love you all
susie

I was looking up Valium as i have been givin it along with my ant- depressons whats well erm no good and i came across this and yes i know what people are saying i thing about cuting or ODing every day i am slowly
building up my sleeping pills but why cos i am just fauler at everything the
doc's are fools they just think i am sick and i will get better but i am alost 20 and been like this since i was 7 . i just want to end everything but at the sametime i try and do the right thing and stick around for friends and family and my little baby girl but i don't care about all that i just no exit is the only way i want to go if life is meant to be so good why do i feel this


rex