Hi Everyone, I have been looking for a site like this for a while!
I am new to all this and seriously need some help. I am 23 years old and for last 6 months have been having really dark thoughts about death. I thought it was just a phase I was going through but it keeps getting worse . I just cant cope with this anymore. I am scared of dying young and every twinge or pain I get, I am convinced its something serious. I get scared about getting a terminal illness and being told I dont have long to live.
I have nothing to be down about, I am happily married with two wonderfuls sons aged 3yrs and 8 months. Each day that goes by the more depressed it makes me, it seems to be all I think about. I am moody and constantly snapping at my husband and kids. The only person I have told about this is my husband as it was obvious to him there was something wrong with me, although he is supporting me, he just doesnt understand and thinks I am ill. He has booked me into the doctors for friday but I dont want to go, I will end up breaking down and they will think I am mad.
I cant carry on like this but I dont see how I can make this problem go away, it cant go away because no matter what I am going to die at some point. I cant sleep properly, I get pains in my chest and feel faint when I think about dying, the thoughts rule my life now. I am so convinced that I am going to die now that I have stopped thinking about the future as I cant imagin having one. I used to believe in life after death but recently have changed my views (thanks to Derren Brown ). I now realise that once your dead thats it, final, a big fat nothing! Whats the point in eating healthy foods, exercising, trying to be happy when at the end of it you die?
Maybe I really am losing it, maybe I will feel like this for good now. If anyone else out there has similar thoughts or just any advice then would love to chat to you. I want to live a happy live again.
Please Help Me.