Please Help Me! I'm scared of dying.

[Noa]

Hi Everyone, I have been looking for a site like this for a while!
I am new to all this and seriously need some help. I am 23 years old and for last 6 months have been having really dark thoughts about death. I thought it was just a phase I was going through but it keeps getting worse . I just cant cope with this anymore. I am scared of dying young and every twinge or pain I get, I am convinced its something serious. I get scared about getting a terminal illness and being told I dont have long to live.
I have nothing to be down about, I am happily married with two wonderfuls sons aged 3yrs and 8 months. Each day that goes by the more depressed it makes me, it seems to be all I think about. I am moody and constantly snapping at my husband and kids. The only person I have told about this is my husband as it was obvious to him there was something wrong with me, although he is supporting me, he just doesnt understand and thinks I am ill. He has booked me into the doctors for friday but I dont want to go, I will end up breaking down and they will think I am mad.
I cant carry on like this but I dont see how I can make this problem go away, it cant go away because no matter what I am going to die at some point. I cant sleep properly, I get pains in my chest and feel faint when I think about dying, the thoughts rule my life now. I am so convinced that I am going to die now that I have stopped thinking about the future as I cant imagin having one. I used to believe in life after death but recently have changed my views (thanks to Derren Brown ). I now realise that once your dead thats it, final, a big fat nothing! Whats the point in eating healthy foods, exercising, trying to be happy when at the end of it you die?
Maybe I really am losing it, maybe I will feel like this for good now. If anyone else out there has similar thoughts or just any advice then would love to chat to you. I want to live a happy live again.
Please Help Me.

[jadeyjade]

Just letting you know you're not alone! I'm 18 and feel just the same. I'm probably not much help as I'm in the same boat but maybe it will help a little to know you're not the only one

[domino]

You will live a happier life again , what has made you have these thoughts? Welcome to n.m.p. you will find lots of useful advice on here . thinking of you , but please do,nt take it out on your children and husband, go to see your g.p. and ask for the help .

[mom1982]

Hi Noa,

I also feel the same way you do. I'm 26 & every time i get aches n pains, i get very scared that it's something serious that might eventually kill me. i get chest pains and am scared of a heart attack, headaches make me think its a brain tumour and numbness in my arms make me think stroke and so on. I've been having this for almost 5 months now and I'm still alive and don't have any of those things. I"m still scared everyday. I"m scared to sleep a night in case i don't wake up the next morning. I also find it hard to look to the future when we're all going to die one day anyway.

I believe in heaven and life after death. But i'm still scared.

All this happened when my grandma suddenly passed away 5 months ago. She was well and one day woke up very sick.

[belle]

Definitely not alone hun...

x

[Noa]

Thank you both for your quick replies. I love my husband and sons so much and shouldn't take it out on them. I dont even know why I do it, as I actually feel guilty for bringing my children into the world, what happens if I die? Its my fault that they end up with no Mother then, I would of caused them pain.
I have had bad thoughts about death since I was young but its worse now that I have children and know it would effect thier lives if I died. I was dealing with these thoughts quite well untill 6 months ago when my uncle died, it made me realise that we dont all grow old and anything could happen. I hate the thought of just suddenly not existing.

JadeyJade- What started you feeling this way, tell me more if you don't mind, it is a comfort to know I am not the only one, I felt like I was going insane. I don't know how I am going to even begin to explain this to my doctor without sounding mad!

If there anything the doctor can do to help me? If the problem can't be removed (which it cant, we will all die) than does that mean I will feel like this forever?

Thanks again
Noa

[Noa]

Hi Mom, your story sounds very simalar to mine. Have you seen your GP? how are you coping with this?

[Noa]

Mom what makes you believe in life after death, is there any reason you feel that way or just something you've always believed in?x

[snowdrop]

Hi Noa

Oh hun you are suffering really strong anxiety which sounds like its getting worse by the day.

The trouble with anxiety is its a vicious cycle, the more anxious you get, the more physical symptoms follow, then every twinge and ache makes you convinced you are ill...then you go through the motions in your mind of how that would feel to be told you are about to die? how would you tell your kids? whats life for anyway, why are we even here if we just die in the end? etc. You search for answers and often google your symptoms and bham in the space of a few seconds 'dr google' has diagnosed you with a terminal illness! Your anxiety gets out of control and the next minute each time you have these thoughts panic attacks start coming on, you can't breathe, you feel like you're going to faint, you have the shivers and break out in a cold sweat...Thats it you're sure your definitely going to die right here and now!

You will get better, you aren't ill and ALL of us here know exactly how you feel. Dont be afraid of breaking down to your gp, they have seen this all before and if you get a good one you will get help, there is lots that can be done so you can get rid of these feelings and thoughts and enjoy your family.

I want to reassure you that there is life once you've been diagnosed with anxiety or depression, it wont kill you but its awful and very lonely at times.

Please do come on here and talk and know you're not alone

tc x

[Noa]

Thank you snowdrop. I dont even understand exactly what anxiety attacks are to be honest. I have never felt like this before, I have felt down before but never depressed (at least I dont think so)! I feel like i have the big black cloud circling over my head and that it will never go away. What will the doctor do to help?

Has anyone been to the doctor about this same problem? If so what did they say and do to help? How can I possibly feel better when the problem can't be erased?x