Please Help Me! I'm scared of dying.

[Haylesbells]

Hi Noa
I'm in the same boat only I've just hit 40 so more time has passed.
Lost my father in law last year just after reading Richard Dawkins and my belief (or the possibility of belief) fell away from me.
I think I was always anxious but that tipped me into a slide into depression.
My GP gave me citalopram and I have started psychotherapy which is starting to have an impact albeit slowly.
I can't go on with a life of worry and depression so I've decided to throw myself into the therapy. It's early days but I have to be hopeful. I also read, read, read everything I can on depression and anxiety and some of it does help.
Keep posting here and read through the links on the left and pop into chat if you need to talk to folk who know what you're going through.
Best wishes,
Hayley

[mom1982]

If Mr Brown says that the mind is a powerful thing & people make you believe life after death when it's not true, don't you think it can be the other way around too. He is making you think life after death is false & controlling/changing your beliefs to what he believes in. It works both ways. Either there is life after death or there is not. So many people believe different things, why would he be correct. He could very well be wrong. It's for you to believe what you feel in your heart or in what makes sense. Like how beautiful & complex nature & the human body is. Do you really believe it was caused by an accident or was it God's creation? It's your choice, not Browns. He chose to believe it's an accident & there is not God. But it's his choice. You have your own, don't let him change your mind & cause you grief. Nobody forced me to believe in the bible, it's my choice & what I feel in my heart & what helps me feel safe & hopeful. Hope is very important. Anything/anyone that takes away your hope is not a friend. We cannot live life without hope. It will just kill us early. I believe my loved ones who have faith in God are in heaven. They are in a different place & can't come back to earth cause their earthly bodies are dead. We will join them when our bodies die too. Earth is a temporary place where the human body cannot last forever which is a fact. We have to join them, not them coming back. Heaven is not the temporary place, earth is. Anyway I don't know this Brown person but I do know that a lot of people don't believe in heaven & a lot of people do. And the ones that do, have this hope that they can see their loved ones again & this life is not the end & all the more reason to live a good & moral life. Derren Brown's own website says that " he describes his craft as a mixture of magic, suggestion, psychology, misdirection and showmanship". how can you trust or believe a magician who admits he uses suggestion & misdirection for his illusions/magic. Anyway just giving you my thoughts. I personally wouldn't trust someone who is a master at illusion & deception. http://www.derrenbrown.co.uk/

It's your choice what you choose to believe. What did you used to believe before Darren Brown. Why did you believe what you used to? Is there reasons? Ask yourself those questions.

Anyway having said all that, it does not make my life very easy eventhough I know there is a heaven. I still get scared cause heaven is not the same as our earthly life. Change scares many people & the unknown also seems scary. But it does make my life a little better cause I have hope of heaven. I still suffer from fear & anxiety everyday & I am trying to cope with it & battling it still. Every little symptom I get, I'm scared it's something terminal. I need to deal with it & many people are on medication & see psychologists that are helping them. But i personally have not found help in the psychologists. They give advice but it's not easy to follow. It takes a lot of time & effort. I hope your GP can help you but if they can't, don't feel hopeless. Mine can't help me. Talk to friends, share your problems. I don't have many friends, I moved to Australia a few years ago & don't have close friends & my parents are overseas so it's very difficult. I have my hubby & daughter & another one on the way but friends are still important. Talking & sharing helps to lift the burden even if it's for a few hours, every few hours of peace is something you have to hold on to.

I know it's hard. It's hard for me.

[Raceworx]

hey noa..

i think everyone in the world has been where you are right now.. realising your own mortality is a huge step in growing up i remember the first time i realised i was going to die when i was younger.. its a very hard lesson to learn but it happenes all the time

i dont know how i got over it to be honest.. i dont believe in religeon but aslong as people are scared of death religeon will always be a part of our lives as people need that hope..

all i would say is if you havent believed before then why start now? it wont stop you dying.

realising your own mortality can often be quite rewarding and can give you a new lease of life realising somthing isnt going to be there forever means you treasure it even more!

so you will die... but the likelyhood is not till your very old and grey so in between now and then you should stop worrying (if you need help you could try anti-depressents see your GP) and enjoy the world around you

[kittykat]

Hi Noa,

I feel what you are going through, i recently lost my mum and although am a christian just felt like god had abandoned me and there was nothing after death, it was really scary for me. But when reading a passage from the bible it does state that the living will not have contact with the dead,'' never again do the dead return to earth to take part in our lives''. So the bible really tells us that these psychics and spiritualists are not to be believed I still am scared of dying i think everyone is, but being a christian i am conscious of how i live my life now and try to be a better person for it not always easy, there is a fear there that i'm still not good enough to go heaven , but i just have to put my trust in God. I hope you can get over this and learn to cope a bit better as life is so precious and too short, not easy i know but i'm sure things will get better for you, hope ive not confused anyone to much with my rambling on

[Noa]

Thank you all for your kind words. I just don't think that I can believe in life after death without proof, if someone I loved came back to visit me then maybe I would believe but thats not going to happen. I need proof to believe!! Well got doctors tomorrow and i am worried about breaking down and sounding mad, how can I possibly tell them how I feel?
Sounds like doctors can't really help with this issue now.
I just wish I knew what was wrong with me, whats happening?

[hamptongirl]

hey noa,just reading all yor messages, i actually found it all to be very interesting,obviously a majority of people have this worry about death as it is part and parcel of our symptoms including myself, but in my opinion wat has got you thinking like you are now is because someone challenged your strong belief in life after death,and instead of keeping on believing in yor belief you are now believing in someone who does not know any different to anyone else, because nobody has come back to tell him any different either, have you ever thought it might be to difficult for the afterlife to return or maybe not possible to come back and be with the living,either way i think if you got your belief back your anxiety will go away, but i certainly would not take the word of someone who is on the tv for .amusement.you take care and carry on with your own beliefs and not someone elses.x

[Qetta]

We are all going to die sometime that is a fact of life.

Death itself is not scary as once one is out of it then that is that, oblivion. Obviously if one has a faith then one believes in the concept of heaven, which is supposed to be wonderful. It is the bit leading up to death that is the scary part if one has an unpleasant illness, but these days pain management is pretty good so one can be pain-free.

I know it is easy to say and hard to do when you are afraid of death, but one is a long time dead so one does have to make the most of life whilst one has it.

My grandson, then five, was having nightmares about dying after my husband became critically ill after a brain haemorrhage in December 2006. I had a chat with him and suggested that some folk believed that after you died you would go to heaven, which they believe to a be fantastic place. I told him to visualise his idea of heaven and maybe it would be like that for him. His idea was a place where there was plenty of chocolate and his family around him! Mind you it backfired a bit. I got a phonecall from my daughter, his Mum, a week or so later. She had told 'Q' off for doing something very dangerous and said he could kill himself. "I don't mind dying, Mummy, Granny says heaven is a nice place!" WHOOPS

[Noa]

Its not that I believe this Derren Brown on tele, he has just opened my eyes. We are humans with organs and when those organs shut down then thats it, how can I possibly believe that then your soul flies out of your body and you carry on living in heaven. Heaven must be a big place to fir everyone in!! Do people really believe that they will go to heaven and maybe met their great great great great Grandmother? I am not taking the mick out of people that do believe in this, I am just saying that it all sounds crazy to me and I have put alot of thought into.
I honestly think that I will feel like this for good now, the doctor cant stop me dying and cant stop me getting a terminal illness while I am young

[snowdrop]

Noa

Please dont base your feelings on Derren Brown, I have met him and got to learn quite a few things about him which would reassure you NOT to believe a word he says!

Who knows what there is after death, no-one really knows for sure but its not worth worrying about it whilst your alive. I like to think there is a life after death or something, if I didnt I would have a hard time accepting death and there is only one thing we can all be sure of when we are born which is that one day we will also die.

Sorry if this sounds harsh, I dont mean it to...BUT do you ever wonder how we all got here in the first place? Humans are such complex beings, our brains are amazingly wired, I dont know what your thoughts are on how we got here...but I think its something really incredible, There are theories on how humans evolved but I dont think any1 can really know for sure. In which case why is it not possible for a life after death?

Food for thought, hope it goes well at the docs and as i said there is loads that can be done, mine has worked very well for me and a couple of months ago I was a total wreck!!

tc sweetie
x

[Noa]

Whats the doctor likely to do for me Snowdrop? If he cant remove the problem (which he cant) then how can he make me feel better?
xx