For Katie76

[Oceanblue]

aww Thank you so much everyone, that's so nice of you to think of me Di.

I did think that everything was going fine. I'm not good at asking for help. You know when things just start to build up,.. problem after problem and we still plod on like we do. But, what happened on Saturday was the last straw, I felt like I was about to crack again .
My little boy's in some bother, he's feeling very depressed and confused because he doesn't understand why he's feeling this way. He wrote me a very disturbing note.

I won't go into detail and write his words, but he basically explained that he didn't want to live anymore and wanted me to end things for him. He'll be 10yrs old in May, this as you can imagine has torn me apart, I feel completely devastated.

It's obviously set my illness off and things are proving really difficult at the moment,... but i'm sure that in time, we will get there.

I've been showing him tons of love, cuddles and affection and took him on a special day out today on his own, whilst my dad babysat my daughter. First thing tomorrow morning i'm going to call my doctor for help and advice.

I love him so much, my children are my world, I hate to think that he's feeling so ill , it breaks my heart.

When my son went to sleep tonight, I haven't stopped crying. I feel so unwell,.. my bf's been a diamond and has helped me around the place, whilst I've slept for afew hours,.. just feel so mentally exhausted, you know how things can be ?

Thanks so much for the talk last night Di, I really do appreciate your support.

And thank you for all your messages, it means a lot to me right now xxx

[PoppyC]

Oh Katie I am so sorry. I hope it all gets resolved for your little boy and for you too. It sounds like he has a wonderful mum.
Lots of hugs to you.

[Oceanblue]

Thanks Poppy. As you can imagine this has shot my anxiety through the roof and I can feel my depression flooding back. That nasty, horrible feeling. I feel that I don't know what's real anymore, everything is scaring me and to think my little boy is feeling this way is tearing me apart.

But I must concentrate 100% on my little boy and finding him the best help, I can't let my emotions overtake and control me, I'm not going to give in, I can't,.. my son needs me and my full attention right now.

Thanks for caring Poppy x

[Bill]

Oh sweet Katie

I really feel for you. xxx Sending you Lots of Hugs and Sincere wishes that he feels much better soon.

Katie, he's so young to be thinking like this, I wonder if anything is going on in his life that's making him feel like this such as at school or with friends. I've no wish to pry though. xxx

Hope he is able to open up to the doctor so that he receives the right treatment. I'll be thinking of you both. xxxxxxxxx

[Oceanblue]

Oh sweet Katie

I really feel for you. xxx Sending you Lots of Hugs and Sincere wishes that he feels much better soon.

Katie, he's so young to be thinking like this, I wonder if anything is going on in his life that's making him feel like this such as at school or with friends. I've no wish to pry though. xxx

Hope he is able to open up to the doctor so that he receives the right treatment. I'll be thinking of you both. xxxxxxxxx

Hi Bill,

Yes he is very young to be thinking and feeling this way, it's frightening me. He's an extremely sensitive and emotional little boy, he sometimes reminds me of how I was, when I was a kid.

He used to get bullied at his old school Bill, I changed him to a new school in a different town last year and he seems to love it there and has made some nice friends. I have asked him lots of questions, but he says it's nothing to do with school, nothing to do with home, or friends,.. it's just the way he feels. He crys, but he doesn't understand why, he doesn't know why, he says he just feels sad and there is no reason for it. He's very confused, the poor little thing, depression is confusing enough as it is for us adults.
He is quite intelligent for his age and so I'm sure that we can sort this out together and he can then have a better understanding, with the help from a Therapist too. I need some professional backup, because I don't want to make any mistakes.

Anxiety and depression run in the family and I too remember having these thoughts when I was his age, only I don't think quite so extreme at 10yrs (more so 12yrs). I do though remember having that horrible dark cloud hanging over me from about the age of 3yrs, mixed with anxiety (sounds insane, but I really do).

I know he suffers with Anxiety and has already had couple of panic attacks, when he was around 6yrs old.

I wish I could make him better now.

[Bill]

"Dear" Katie ,

He sounds a little like I was at his age. Of course it's down to the doctor to decide what's best but my "feeling" is that perhaps you could push your doctor for him to see a therapist as I feel that maybe what would help him most.

The reason I say this is because you've said that he suffers from anxiety and had panic attacks which makes me feel that it's his anxiety that is creating his depressed state. I think the note he wrote may have been a cry for help. I feel, based on my experiences, that it's actually a good sign that he's not keeping it to himself.

If as you say, he's happy at home and at school, so my "hunch" is that he maybe feeling overstressed and I know these days the youngsters are put under alot more pressure to perform well. As you say, he's very sensitive so stress will certainly make him emotional and will cause him anxiety and panics. He may have been feeling too embarrassed to say anything which is why he wrote the note. You could try asking him if he feels under too much pressure.

Hope you don't mind me saying all that Katie. It's just my gut feeling but i could be wrong of course.

I just can't help feeling he needs "talking" therapy. Of course it's extremely worrying for you but I do feel Sure that once he receives help he'll be ok Katie.

[Oceanblue]

"Dear" Katie ,

He sounds a little like I was at his age. Of course it's down to the doctor to decide what's best but my "feeling" is that perhaps you could push your doctor for him to see a therapist as I feel that maybe what would help him most.

Yes, this is what I want my doctor to do. I want her to refer him to a Therapist/Family Counsellor, I just hope the waiting list isn't too long.


The reason I say this is because you've said that he suffers from anxiety and had panic attacks which makes me feel that it's his anxiety that is creating his depressed state. I think the note he wrote may have been a cry for help.

I too believe the note was a cry for help. I couldn't help but cry after I had read it and went straight to see him and cuddle him. He was then even more devastated because he knew he made me cry and he kept telling me how sorry he was, and that he really didn't mean to make me cry, of course I told him straight away that it wasn't his fault.

I feel, based on my experiences, that it's actually a good sign that he's not keeping it to himself.


Yes, I think you're right there and I'm so glad he has tried to tell me.

If as you say, he's happy at home and at school, so my "hunch" is that he maybe feeling overstressed and I know these days the youngsters are put under alot more pressure to perform well. As you say, he's very sensitive so stress will certainly make him emotional and will cause him anxiety and panics. He may have been feeling too embarrassed to say anything which is why he wrote the note. You could try asking him if he feels under too much pressure.

Thanks Bill, yes I will ask him this, because thinking back to when I was very young, I too felt under pressure, but I think mostly because of different circumstances.


Hope you don't mind me saying all that Katie. It's just my gut feeling but i could be wrong of course.

I just can't help feeling he needs "talking" therapy. Of course it's extremely worrying for you but I do feel Sure that once he receives help he'll be ok Katie.

Yes, definately talking therapy. I really wasn't taking him for an appointment to see the doc in hope for any medication. Medication, I feel is the very last resort.

He does need to talk, he needs to talk to somebody outside the family, as I do feel you're right that he may either feel embarrassed or feel that he may upset me. I know he feels so upset when he sees me cry. I always, try my very best to not cry infront of my children, but you know,.. sometimes we do.. and that's just something that can't be helped. We can't hide our emotions all the time.

I will also arrange to see his teacher after the Easter Hols.

Thanks for your messages Bill, I appreciate your help very much xx

[Bill]

You're always Most welcome sweet Katie. If you still have the note, show it to your doc and push her for the help he needs. I'll be thinking of you both Katie. xxx

[Oceanblue]

You're always Most welcome sweet Katie. If you still have the note, show it to your doc and push her for the help he needs. I'll be thinking of you both Katie. xxx

Yes I have kept the note he wrote and was also going to take it, so that she can see just how serious this is. He is screaming out for help here, I'm not going to be fobbed off, he must be seen by a Therapist outside the family.

I've called the doctor, but there is a Locum Doc covering for today, so I have an appointment tomorrow, i'll let you know how we get on.

I want to take him Go-Karting today, I know how much he loves it. In the meantime, I'm just trying to do the best I can in filling up his days with things he usually enjoys.

Thanks again x

[claire m]

katie being a parent is the toughest job in the world i can hardly begin to imagine how you must be feeling, i am a mum of two boys and the thought of them hurting would tear me apart.
he is very lucky to have someone like you who knows how he is feeling and knowing the help that is available for him.
i wish you and your family all the luck and biggest hugs to you all.