What i believe to trigger my panic disorder. advice needed

[daniel22]

Hi everyone. me again lol

Been with my partner for 3 years on which i always got nervous just incase he cheated on me. he did cheat on me in the 3 weeks being together but after that my anxiety levels increase...as so i think....we had our problems but what couple dont right?. but over christmas we had a short break to clear our minds and refresh on how we felt for each other. well when he returned home i was convinced he had cheated on me, based on my instinct, a week later he told me that he had sexual contact (full on) with another man. and so on........so we then talked but i was upset and really hurt i couldnt really deal with it in one go so we talked over days....we eventually decided to fight it out and save wot we had worked for then a week or two after that i had my very first Panic attack. and its got worse day by day. but i fink goin back and forwards to the doctors added more tension to my anxiety goin through diagnositcs procedures. now i dont know weather to end it with him or stay with him. i do trust him but not as much as id liked. do i throw away 3 years of my life and start a fresh or will that make my panic disorder worse bcus i b alone? i dont know. ive been talking to some other lad who works at the hospital where my current partner works and he seems really caring. my friend who is a doctor yes a doctor said i should dump him bcus thats my main source of panic! or is it! is he saying that so i get with him or is he saying that for my benifit. i dont know im confused and really need some advice. im sorry for the essay but all replys will help me alot. i do love my b/f very much but i just want to feel myself again and be able to go bed at night without fear, attacks, fast heart rate thinking im gonna be dead in a week. i just hate my life at the moment and my personal life and my disorder is causing me to get really depressed and scared just incase i try killing myself. thanks guys

[Nicola_lou]

Hi, I'm in the same situation as you been in a relationship for 5 years living together now for a year and since we moved in there was no help from him like he didn't real want to move in. I kept thinking he was cheating then there was the other pressures money bills me constantly cleaning after him. The biggest issue was money he would spend it before I payed the bills so I had to pay for everything. The saying is love isn't enough now I know what it means, I've made myself ill worring and he still seems fine getting on with his life as he knows it.
So I'm also in a real dilema but the bad news is only we can make the discision. Its a hard one though in it. I told my friends before they said right leave you can't go through this, but then we would have a good fews days and id think what the hell only money. And I drank quite a lot to drowned my feelings out, when I would get a fews drinks in me I would cry and tell him how I felt but nothing changed.
Reading this you prob think chuck him I know but 5 years is a long time the big question for both of us is do we want to spend another couple of years with the same conclusion.

Pm me if you want to we both in same boat. Take care hun
A

[Sleepless999]

If being with someone screws you up this much, it would seem that the best thing to do is dump him! You say you trust him but how can you? I think you should move on - really!!! Leopards and all that?!

[Stressed32]

Daniel- I am sorry that this relationship has gotten you to this point. I will say that love should not be this hard! No relationship is worth you putting yourself through this unhealthy cycle of emotions. However, I have been where you are and the reality is that you will not leave no matter what anyone says until you have had enough. With that being said, this is a realtionship that no matter how long you stay in it will help you to grow. I know from my own anxiety that 98% of it is in my head...do you think that by changing the way you think perhaps your relationship can change too? You say you trust your partner, but from your statement above "I just had a feeling" I think that there is some doubt there too...which is natural because he cheated on you..how can you trust him 100%? I am sure he feels that mistrust and this creates problems too. This is a vicious cycle that can tear you apart.

I really hope that you and your partner can find happiness b/c life is too short for the stupid crap, and really overall, most of it is just stupid crap. good luck and hugs to you sweetie, this is not easy.