Hello Dear Emma

My philosophy is when I care about someone, I stick by them for as long as I'm needed and let them decide if or when they no longer need me so of course I'll continue to reply to you for as long as you feel I can be of help to you because I care about you just as I do about everyone who has touched my life with kindness!These people like yourself, even when they move on as often people do, I never forget!

I have my favourite films too and probably as you know "It's a Wonderful Life" is one of them but it's really pure fantasy with a very emotional happy ending but real life is often much harder and often cruel. However, I do believe that there Are good people in this world who do care about others and that when we are surrounded by friends such as these, life can be made smoother. I also believe that life is like the weather! There will be long sunny spells followed by storms that seem never ending but I also believe in the song "You'll Never walk alone" because with friends by our side, a golden light will one day appear so that life becomes happier and more bearable. Life though will never produce a fairy tale "ending" but we can still find a fairy tale within our life stories.

I know of so many people who have suffered so badly but they've come through their storms with support by their side to find happiness once again in their lives. Never give up because if we persevere, the roundabouts always turn until we find a new avenue to proceed to a happier better life.

It's true to say that a while back I felt So low that I came very close to not being here today, more through pure luck rather than judgement because I just didn't care at the time. I think the luck was that I only had so many in stock to take! However, you see, if luck hadn't been on my side, I wouldn't be here replying to you and supporting you through your troubles. What I'm saying is that we all experience our personal storms that test us but if we persevere, we can get through them to create a better life and then we can use the strength we've gained through our experiences to help those who are where we used to be. Every life touches another and I know of people who have been through rough times with ex-partners who have found their "fairy tale" with someone new who has needed them in the future.

I realise of course you're not "so" low that you'd want to give up on living but nor should you give up on ever finding your fairy tale because fairy tales Do exist as I'm sure others I have known would verify!

hard to accept that someone can be so mean and hurtful because they cant get their own way - and i dont know whats really motivating him - he will not communicate and never has done!!!!! surely a major reason we are in this mess? the relate counsellor said he hadnt opened up or connected with her, he hadnt taken it serioulsy or commited to the process

I'm Only guessing but I think his defensive behaviour "maybe" because he is harbouring a deep anger and resentment towards you from nearly the beginning of your relationship. He feels so strongly about it that he has created a barrier that has been there for so long that it's now become so deep seated that he may now find it impossible to lower it. I also "think" that this may also be the reason that he decided that he would "get his own back" by laying down the law to you so that everything in the future would mean he had everything "his way". They say that women are more in touch with their feelings and so find it easier to talk about them. I think he may have great trouble in releasing these feelings so expresses them in his behaviour towards you. Like I say, I'm only guessing!!! I'll pm you about this.

Take care Dear Emma.