Relationship doubts-anxiety related?

[elrpigeon]

Hi, i was so happy my boyfriend was back form america yesterday, and yet tonight i am thinking i dont want to be with him and oh god help i have doubts etc...
The thing is, i have taken my last pill tonight and i always get this when i am on my break, and always think i dont love him or he doesn't love me.. and i haven't been well last night so feeling ill like that takes out alot of emotions and leaves only enough to deal with getting better.. dont forget me and mark met at uni so since june 10th we have had to deal with only seeing each other a couple of times and speaking on the phone... and i worried my head off before him going away that id end up getting so used to not speaking with him, that id be disgusted or repelled by the thought of being with him or that i would love him etc... so i think how i am feeling could be cos i am what psychologist say, living up to my "psychic predictions and visions" of what my anxiety said would be.. i hope it is that cos i got used to no contact i feel weird cos of that and not feeling well and hormones..
I am young and he is young and we have been together over 9 months so its probably different than if we were married for years, but i was curious if any of you ever get like that with your partners, just purely cos of silly anxious thoughts etc?
Thanks
Emily X

Power of the mind is incredible, we now think negative by it, we can get out thinking positive too!

[Meg]

I think this is normal thinking patterns especially for us.
Relationships are unconditional and faily fluid in the initial stages so noone is in control of the direction or speed of them and being out of control is not a trait that comes easy to us at the best of time.. Also if you've been quite reliant on his support and reassurance this last year, the fact that you've managed this time apart with no communication has proved to you you can do it without him which immediately fuels - do I want this still questions.

Philophobia, fear of love

Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[elrpigeon]

Meg, you are a star and i love you! lol. Seriously though, thank you so so much, i spoke to a friend just after writing that post i wrote and he said he agrees that i am being silly (my words by the way) so i was relieved it was that! just needed confirmation of an outside source!
And then reading the post you sent in a link, is a relief,.
Emily X

Power of the mind is incredible, we now think negative by it, we can get out thinking positive too!

[pinkscrumpy]

Hi Emily

Glad Meg sorted you ot LOL.

I feel like that a lot of the time.

love


MANDIE XX

Will I ever escape this?
Will I ever be free?
Wake me up from this nightmare.
Please just give me the key!

[Sue K with 5]

Hi ya

I think your thoughts are typical in any young relationship, we all go through bouts on uncertainty, ,mybe this is because you have spent time apart, we all go throught his though so dont beat yourself up. I have had anxiety for years and I have that thought everytime he has increased my anxiety levels, you know
WOULD I BE BETTER OFF WITHOUT HIM

its a hard one but just dont make any rash decisions

take care and go easy on yourself

sue with 5

scknight

[kazo]

hi emily
I have been married for 14 years and many times I think to myself I am better off without him! he doesn't understand! He thinks I am silly but for a while now I have altered my brain to think I am so lucky to have him! He has to put up with alot of problems from me yet he still wants to stay etc. It has helped in our relationship a great deal. Glad you have got it sorted. take care kazo

[elrpigeon]

Susan and Kazo, thank you, you make alot of sense!
It doesnt feel like i have been with mark for such a short time it really doesnt, and i feel like i should be living with him as that feels the right thing to do (love wise! lol). I am much calmer in my feelings and whenever i can see him next i am sure ill know i was being silly...
Emily X

Power of the mind is incredible, we now think negative by it, we can get out thinking positive too!

[elrpigeon]

Okay, not so good moment i am afraid.. i feel so frustrated that i cant see mark that im getting really annoyed with him. he isn't making me as happy as i thought he would (reality and not the fantasy)... and i keep saying in my head i hate him so much and i just want to make him feel bad like i do, i want to tell him that he doesnt understand the gravity of the situation and i want to finish it cos im so confused with having not missed him (i supress emotion when its extreme i.e. missing him when he was on holiday) and now being all emotional etc... the supressed feelings are coming out and i cant even see him so its so confusing, and he said he is going to watch bolton play west ham on the 27th so i cant even see him that weekend! ARGH!!!! he is really annoying me, but i feel so down and he is the only person who can make me feel any better, i cant stop crying, i dont know whats wrong with me, its gotta be hormones cos i get volatile mood swings and bursts like this when i am on my break so it has to be that. i am trying so hard not to swear as well cos im so annoyed... i didnt want to offend anyone so i have kept it out of my post.
I just dont understand why i get so like this every month, its so unfair, he can switch off but i cant..it really annoys me..
Please remind me that some people also get like this and when i calm down ill be ok cos i really need some reassurance itll be ok... cos i hope it will as i cant stand this being dragged out for 2 weeks until i finally get to see mark again... i dont want this sillyness to mess anything up if it was only my anxieties in the first place etc..
God i hate mood swings i really do, i hate being female, you men out there may have to put up with us but your definately lucky not to have to go through it yourself, knowing your annoying people but you cant help it, or that yu feel so wrong done by or angry and upset yet its not real, its just hormones blinding you... god id love to be a guy!!

Sorry for the long post, just needed to offload, dont feel like there is anyone i can talk to at the moment, i feel quite isolated and that no one gives a damn about me.
Emily X

Power of the mind is incredible, we now think negative by it, we can get out thinking positive too!

[kf]

My god I've felt like you. And I know so many others who have felt the same. Don't know what causes it - wish I did! I know inmy case hormones have a lot to do with it. Every time I try to take the contraceptive pill I go downhill so fast. A month or two off them and I'm a normal (ish!) person again.

Don't be cross with your boyfriend, he's going to be suffering too and if he needs some time you have to give him that. Everyone has to try and keep things as normal as possible, if that means him going to the football, then let him do it! What would you normally do while he's out? Go shopping, spend time with friends / family, catch up on reading?

No relationship is easy, and there are difficult times and good times. Lots of things help, but I find, a good, balanced diet, my medication, eye q (omega fish oil tablets that are good for brain co-ordination) and lots of rest. And drink lots of water! Talking things through always help.

I really hope you start to feel better, I don't know what it is or what we can do about it, but I can reassure you that are 100% not alone.