Irrational fear that I am pregnant

[vaguehobbit]

I can't stop thinking that I may be pregnant.

Mind you, I've actually never had sex. I do not want to get really graphic here, but my boyfriend and I only did two or three times what people on the internet seem to call "dryhumping." However, it wasn't entirely "dry" (and I really apologise if it's inappropriate to share this on these forums), therefore I started to think maybe things had passed through the fabric of our underwear...

I began to get freaked out when I noticed my breasts were slightly larger and sore. My period came, but I still didn't feel better about it, so we did two pregnancy tests. I believe I did them properly and both were negative. Then I had another period.

Since then I've realised I have every reason to stop freaking out. I even admit I've had hypochondriac tendencies before, so this wouldn't be too unusual to me. However, I simply can't stop freaking out, especially when I read things about pregnant women who have regular bleeding just like a period or repeated false negatives.

It doesn't help when I have "new" symptoms that are also related to pregnancy. I've had a sore back from time to time during these past few months. I also have had some yellowish vaginal discharge in the past few days. Two weeks ago I had a small amount of blood in my discharge (which apparently can be attributed to ovulation, but I am not convinced as I have never seen this before). My veins seem more noticable, but maybe I am wrong - I don't know. I am wondering if I can even trust my own opinions on what has changed or not with my body. Thankfully my breasts haven't seemed to have gotten larger since the first time I noticed.

I honestly don't know what to do. I would go to a doctor to have them confirm the negative result from the urine test, but I am studying abroad so I don't have a doctor nor the means to cover the expenses of one. I'll be home in three weeks, but that seems like such a long time to do nothing. Please someone give me some advise or help me realise how irrational I am being.

[lauren6]

Hi Hobbit, You said "our underwear" so I assume you both had it on. The likelihood that these little guys would swim through 2 pairs of underwear and find their way into your fallopian tubes is really nil. I don't know if you have fooled around since the pregnancy test. If you are that scared, make sure that he "lets it out" far away from that part of your body. I don't want to say anything to offend you but you are being irrational (you said so yourself). Two tests which are known for their accuracy. Don't worry.

People with health anxiety are some of the most creative people I know, we unfortunately use our intelligence and imagination in an unhealthy way, myself included. It IS just your mind playing tricks. Believe the tests and knowing your anxiety level about getting pregnant, make sure you don't have to ever go through this for real, when the time comes, be super careful. I remember the 5 minute pregnancy tests were the longest five minutes of my life...more like 5 hours!

[nomorepanic]

Read this post as well please..

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=48434

You are not alone with the fear.

[LisaLisa]

I can't stop thinking that I may be pregnant.

Mind you, I've actually never had sex. I do not want to get really graphic here, but my boyfriend and I only did two or three times what people on the internet seem to call "dryhumping." However, it wasn't entirely "dry" (and I really apologise if it's inappropriate to share this on these forums), therefore I started to think maybe things had passed through the fabric of our underwear...

I began to get freaked out when I noticed my breasts were slightly larger and sore. My period came, but I still didn't feel better about it, so we did two pregnancy tests. I believe I did them properly and both were negative. Then I had another period.

Since then I've realised I have every reason to stop freaking out. I even admit I've had hypochondriac tendencies before, so this wouldn't be too unusual to me. However, I simply can't stop freaking out, especially when I read things about pregnant women who have regular bleeding just like a period or repeated false negatives.

It doesn't help when I have "new" symptoms that are also related to pregnancy. I've had a sore back from time to time during these past few months. I also have had some yellowish vaginal discharge in the past few days. Two weeks ago I had a small amount of blood in my discharge (which apparently can be attributed to ovulation, but I am not convinced as I have never seen this before). My veins seem more noticable, but maybe I am wrong - I don't know. I am wondering if I can even trust my own opinions on what has changed or not with my body. Thankfully my breasts haven't seemed to have gotten larger since the first time I noticed.

I honestly don't know what to do. I would go to a doctor to have them confirm the negative result from the urine test, but I am studying abroad so I don't have a doctor nor the means to cover the expenses of one. I'll be home in three weeks, but that seems like such a long time to do nothing. Please someone give me some advise or help me realise how irrational I am being.

Hey dont worry about being irrational its totally normal to be like this when something worries you. Its just that anxiety makes our worries more extreme in some areas more than others.

One of my friends felt the way you do awhile back and she even made them give her an ultrasound and then after there being nothing to see was convinced that they had done it wrong. She incidently is them most sensible and rational person i have ever net in all other areas of her life!!

She just really didnt want to be pregnant and her mind got stuck on the fear or it being possible and failed to see that fact , that she wasnt. I think that everyone with anxiety has this more or less. Its like obsession about the 'what if', I have this very very badly about hiv, despite four negative tests. Its not fun feeling this way but for you you need to recognise your inability to see the facts and be aware that you are reacting to a fear only.

I hope it stops stressing you soon luv

Lisa
xxxx

[Stressed32]

Hi vaguehobbit....I will say this...I know that pregancy is possible...but speaking from experience, I know that is does NOT happen this easy! That guy would have to have the hercules of sperm to make it through 2 sets of clothing, into your vagina, into your cervix, and then to reach your egg and fertilize it....that would be IMPRESSIVE! Plus, you would have needed to be ovulating and the timing there would have to be perfect as well. Sweetie, I have been having unprotected sex with my hubby for 3 years and nothing is wrong with either of us and I still have not gotten pregnant. I would say that if you are pregnant from this, it would be right up there with the immaculant conception and your child would be a miracle baby Relax, your fine....plus you have had periods. I do know how you feel and how you can MAKE this work....I do it with HIV symptoms. Currently, I am convinced I have HIV after a - test...ready for this....because I have chapped lips! You have anxiety sweeite, relax, enjoy sex, just be safe.

[Romo]

that is what got me in this whole mess in the first place. A guy telling me he got me pregnant. The thing is, I have sex. Please, you are NOT pregnant. Just to put your mind at rest, if you were you would know within 2 months and could do something about it so stop worrying. it totally messaged up my life with anxiety and it's not worth thinking about it.

[vaguehobbit]

Thank you everyone. I meant to come back here sooner, but I was busy with school for the last few weeks. Your words mean a lot.

The worst of it is that I realize it's all irrational anxiety and yet I keep thinking about it. Lately I've been feeling a sort of annoying fluttering in my stomach, which perhaps is just gas but I keep becoming afraid that it is a fetus. Maybe it is just my imagination.

I think a huge part of this is my fear of becoming pregnant. I don't think I could get an abortion, but my parents would absolutely kill me and I wouldn't be able to support myself if I had a baby. Hence, an awful situation which really terrifies me.

LisaLisa, I am considering getting an ultrasound done to prove to myself that I am not pregnant. However, my parents can't know about this so I can't use the family doctor. Does anyone know if I could go to something like Planned Parenthood for something like this? Or how much something like that would cost?

I'm really trying to do my best to stop thinking about this, but I'm starting to think maybe I can't. :-/

[Trixie]

Thank you everyone. I meant to come back here sooner, but I was busy with school for the last few weeks. Your words mean a lot.

The worst of it is that I realize it's all irrational anxiety and yet I keep thinking about it. Lately I've been feeling a sort of annoying fluttering in my stomach, which perhaps is just gas but I keep becoming afraid that it is a fetus. Maybe it is just my imagination.

I think a huge part of this is my fear of becoming pregnant. I don't think I could get an abortion, but my parents would absolutely kill me and I wouldn't be able to support myself if I had a baby. Hence, an awful situation which really terrifies me.

LisaLisa, I am considering getting an ultrasound done to prove to myself that I am not pregnant. However, my parents can't know about this so I can't use the family doctor. Does anyone know if I could go to something like Planned Parenthood for something like this? Or how much something like that would cost?

I'm really trying to do my best to stop thinking about this, but I'm starting to think maybe I can't. :-/

As this is in Dutch I am not 100% sure it is what you want http://en.stisan.nl/

[miss diagnosis]

hey

i went through exactly the same thing as you. and ive been pregnant before so i should have known better.

For years after i had my son (he is nine )i would go into a state of panic any time i was near a guy. im on the pill and i used to make my boyfriend pull out and wear a condom as well. yet everymonth conviced i was pregant.Even after nagative pregancy tests and periods etc. i was sick to the stomach for months with worry

I had a bad time with my pregancy.firstly was twins and i miscarried one.
then the childs dad wanted nothing to do with me.so i was alone and scared and only 20 so i think that explains the fear of getting pregnant.

I still freak out if my period is late but it wouldnt be a big deal if i was as im nearly 30 now and in a long term relationship...just done think my HA could manage 9 months of hospitals1!

[vaguehobbit]

As this is in Dutch I am not 100% sure it is what you want http://en.stisan.nl/

I tried to click that site but it didn't load on my computer for some reason. Thank you anyway.

As an update, I went to Planned Parenthood last week on Friday and got a blood test done. It was negative, thankfully. Then Sunday morning my period came, so this would make the fourth period I've had since the date I feared marked a conception.

I feel a lot better, but I don't feel 100% better. My body seems a little out of whack to me, but that could be because I spent five months in another country, eating different foods, and then the last month I tried vegetarianism. Perhaps I didn't get an adequate protein intake. It's just that my stomach feels like it's hanging out in a way that it never did before, but in a way I don't feel bigger (my clothes all still fit and I weigh the same as before). I'm trying to find ways to convince myself with certainty that it's all in my head.

Otherwise, on a somewhat related note, my period doesn't have any odor at all. Usually it's a distinctly bloody smell, but this time and the last few times it has smelled like nothing at all. Could this be a result of dietary changes? Or does anyone know if this is a sign to anything else. I ask here and not in a new thread because I tried Google for this (probably a mistake) and managed to find a few things that explained this with pregnancy - eep!

Anyway, thank you all for your kind words again.