Re: 1 hour long blip!
Hey Poppy.
Calm down. I'm sure its just a blip. I think its very easy to get blips - especially if as in your other thread the meds, anxiety or something is unsettling you digestion. That can mean both your intake of the medication and your blood sugar and hydration are all up the spout.
On top of that the whole anxiety thing is rarely a constant AND I think sometimes when our meds have been working we notice the return of any anxiety/depression all the more. Like having pain killers for toothache - when they wear off you can feel the pain all the more. So if our condition peaks then we feel it more as we'd got slightly used to it being less.
Sometimes crying can be good as atleast it a real emotion unlike anxiety and depression which are often just inside our heads. Obviously you shouldn't feel that low all the time, or even at all if possible, but no harm done. As your other half is doubtless still at work HERE IS ANOTHER BIG HUG. Hopefully that will see you through till they get home.
You are obviously looking at some big new challenges with the college and voluntary. Well done for that - its more than me and I'm (much) older. I'm sure you wouldn't have got as far in even thinking about those if you hadn't made some good progress lately. Its one of the subtle ways meds can help and we don't always notice. Making those ideas more real though is a new opening for the anxiety/depression that your words suggest so they've decided to give you a bit of a kicking. Once they've stopped you can pick yourself up and prove to them that you are the boss.
Sorry to hear you miss your dad. s**t - Something told me to make a search before I finished posting and I realise your Dad died... My Dad died in November aged 89 so I think we have a bit in common there - may be similar ages too. I was also sorry to read the other stuff - so clearly you can't turn to your Mum either. My situations the same for very different reasons - Mum has severe alzheimers. The nearest I get to being recognised is when she calls me by my dad's name, and even that's more habit than visual similarity. Sorry - this is meant to be about you. This may seem crazy - but have you considered writing a letter to your dad. It might help to get your feelings, emotions, thoughts out onto paper. Depending on your own beliefs you could then burn it or take it to his grave (you mentioned visiting it in a post), or whatever suits you. Both a neice of mine and a sister wrote a letter to dad that went in his suit pocket. Again sorry if this too personal or intrusive, you just sounded like you needed some help.
I know you should never say this to a girl, but don't worry too much about the make-up. It can be confusing for a partner hearing how terrible its been if you are sitting there in perfect make up. If it makes you feel different then that's a different thing.
Don't sit there alone with these feelings - post again, see who's on chat or send a PM if you like.
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Kevin, Southend-on-Sea, Essex, UK
Probably GAD & Phobias. Anxiety and renewed Depression medicated (Venlafaxine). Trying to improve.