going out

[elrpigeon]

Hi, i dont know how to put it into a condensed form so if i ramble i apologise.

I went to Wetherspoons, and shortly after being there realised i wanted to stay out longer than i said. I was due to call my boyfriend at 10:30 cos he had to get up for 6am today to get to work for 8am so any later was too late.. but as i said, i realised i wanted to stay out.
I let dad know i wouldn't need a lift and we went on to another bar called the light bar, i did have a lemonade at 'spoons, then two shots, i had a vodka and coke and another shot in the light bar, then decided i would go clubbing after all. I called my boyfriend for 5 or so minutes whilst at the light bar so got to say night anyway. We went to the club and i had another shot (as my friend rachael said its got a rep' for drinks being spiked) and i wasnt keen on having alco pops cos htey can make me feel sickly so thought shot would be better seeing as the other drinks i had didn't even make me tipsy, which is strange seeing as i don't drink!!! lol.
I had a bottle of water so i would stay hydrated cos it was very hot and there were alot of people (it was the only club open on the bank holiday), and also no one could spike my drink of water with a lid on!
I danced my socks off a few times, my chest started hurting so i stopped had a drink and was ok (partly anxious maybe although i didn't feel anxious but physical exertion and bad breahting techniques probably cause which made me feel good cos i didnt like it but i didnt feel panicky from it)... i actually danced so hard (like put my heart and soul into it) at one point cos i was so happy i went out, stayed out, had a good time and actually knew i was enjoying myself (cos usually if enjoy myself, it isnt much and i dont recognise im having fun), and i knew i was, i could have cried i was so happy i was out having fun!!

And in answer to your question, i didn't fall off me heels lol, so yay! But my ankles and knees ached a bit cos i am not used to heels. I walked back with someone i knew who i saw there, graeme and i didnt live far from the club and he is in the next road so i wasnt alone. I did however not have my keys which i realised before going, because i thought before going out "well... dad'll be picking me up at 10:30 so no need to" and forgot about it when i said id be staying out! lol... so i woke my sister up and me and graeme walked to hers which was 5 minutes down the road.... lol... whoops!!!!!!!

My boyfriend at one point when i said i was going to be out etc and i was all nicely dressed, for me to get wasted (his great sense of humour there people, *sighs* lol) but not to embarress myself or to have wild sex with a stranger! Lol, cheeky man!!!

Mad stuff.. not only that but my friend rachael who went too, came round to see me today, i had posted soemthing then got my ticked for the train journey thurs, and came in and she was there and we went into town to pick her boyfriend up and went to the bank for them to check stuff, whilst i waited alone *gasps* and felt weird but managed through it, then to Mac Donalds, then BHS and i was out from 3:20 to 5:45 and i am going to go into town tomorrow possibly with my friend emily cos she only has tomoz off and itd be nice to see her before i go see mark.
Sorry for the long-ness of this but its not too babbly, just long, but its all so important and it was all such good things and the fact i felt so happy and good being out last night really made me smile (and my friend rachael was happy to notice i was fine most the night so yay).

Thanks all
Emily X

Power of the mind is incredible, we now think negative by it, we can get out thinking positive too!

[kerrywatts]

I hate the build up to going out - i feel sleepy and i'm thinking "I don't want to go" and i say to mike "shall i text her and tell her the kids are ill" then when it comes to leaving the house i nearly WET myself!! It doesn't help that i am totally ready about an hour before leaving and my friends are ALWAYS late (grrrrrr). BUT then when i'm out i'm fine. Start off by getting a lemonade or an archers and lemonade and sipping it and i opt out of doing "rounds" cos you end up having to drink fast (makes me feel sick). i also go home by midnight (cinderella!) because i know i have to get up early with the kids (and for some strange reason going out and seeing all my ex boyfriends and all these odd couples snogging, and the desperate "who am i going to sleep with tonight" looks on peoples faces, makes me want sex - must go out more often!! I think the self confidence boost of getting eyed up helps too - only cos i'm not a regular in the pubs so i'm not someone they have slept with before not cos i'm good looking!)

he he he!! Oooops, must learn to cut the length of my posts(I put my excessive talking down to nervous energy - i talk more and faster when nervous - but obviously not! Must like the sound of my own keys tapping!)

Kerry

http://frankielampard.proboards55.com/index.cgi

[nomorepanic]

Emily

So pleased you had a great night out in the end! Sounds like you had fun!

Nicola

"Nearly all happiness comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open"

[Meg]

Well done Emily - you did great



Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[elrpigeon]

Thanks you guys, i really did have fun which was and is so nice to have felt again!!
I am quite tired ish from the anxiety and stress of last few days then exerted myself in a way i havent for ages! and hten going to town today being a bit uptight then being in the sun a bit so i am going to have me a lovely nice bath and drefresh myself

Emily X

Power of the mind is incredible, we now think negative by it, we can get out thinking positive too!

[Trev]

Good on you Emily

Cheers,
Trev