Today I just cant take it

[lindzanne]

Today is one of those days that feel like rock bottom. I am so anxious, depressed, worthless feeling.
Im in constant bladder irritation and pain that my doctor says is nothing, just external irritation. Well, he doesnt have to live with it. All I can think is anything that doesnt go away is cancer.
I have what feels like thrush, but nope, today Im pretty sure its cancer.
I keep getting wierd pains and cramps since starting birth control, never had em before, so, must be ovarian cancer.
I feel so tired, took an extra benzo yesterday just cause i was so sad, try really hard not to take them unless i need them, but today i feel so groggy and am sure its the cancer causing fatigue.
one of my supposed best friends who calls me maybe once every two weeks and i try not to talk about my anxiety with anyway cause i dont want to bother anyone, exploded at me and said i have a problem with everything and she cant deal with the way my mental illness "makes her feel." now i feel like a freak and like all my other friends feel that way too, especially because i heard through the grapevine she is confiding about "her problem" with some of them.
This today after a week of socializing, working out, talking myself through panic, feeling ok. what happened?
God I feel like crap. Like I am definitely going to die and nothing will ever get better.
Thanks for whoever is listening, today I feel like you and my husband are all i have.
Lindsay

[Wee-Mee]

Hi hun. I am sorry you feel like this. And that your friend said those things..it hurts definitely..cos all you want it is some suppport.

I have been there with everything being cancer,I really know what it is like. What do you mean bladder irritation? Like painful or what?

Not that I know anything but if you are still unsure etc you should maybe try popping along to see a diff doc though I am sure you are alright. I know what this is like though sweety
xxxxxxxxxxxxx

[nataliean1982]

i believe that some people can be sensitive to birth control, i think i am one of them. it seems reasonable since it depletes you of so many vitamins. so take more of them try to find something to keep your mind off of it...i know (impossible). i broke down a few days ago, not feeling much better yet.

[lindzanne]

Thank you both for replying. natalie, hope you are feeling better.
I honestly rely on this site a lot a feel a little discouraged to see so many people read my posts but so few offer a reply. Probably wouldnt feel that way if I wasnt so blue and whiney! So thanks, you two.