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Thread: what triggered anxiety/depression?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2009
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    what triggered anxiety/depression?

    Hello,
    Just wondering if anyone else thinks they know why they suffer with anxiety/depression? I've had anxiety now for a while my first pa was when i was about 17 and i thought i was going to die, which then resulted in me becoming a hypochondriac and thinking that every twinge was imminent death for me. I don't know if i have had depression but think that my anxiety has often led me to feel very low and drained.
    I can't think of anything that has made me feel so anxious in my life, i can't blame a terrible childhood like i know some have had or a bad past experience which caused me to react the way i have, i have asked my dr to see a counsellor to try and help me understand better some problems that i've had of late and hopefully why i am the way i am. Has anyone felt the same and if so with what conclusions if any. Thanks x

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    Re: what triggered anxiety/depression?

    I don't know why I am depressed and anxious... Depression has run through generations of both my parents families (worse on my mums side) and pretty much all of us have had it to various extents.

    I don't know if it's nature or nurture - it's likely to be a bit of both. I know if/when I have children that judging on our family to date there is a good chance they will also suffer from depression.

    I first remember having suicidal thoughts at the age of 13. I have a very good memory but have no memories of bad things from when I was younger (I was bullied badly at primary school but the only reason I know about it is because people have told me since - it's a huge blank!) I can't pinpoint how or why it started... but I have given up on working out why (I did have a counsellor once who liked to bring up the theory that I was exposed to stress in the womb and that kick started it - I am very sceptical of that)

    I have decided to focus on understanding how I feel now and working on that. I wonder if it's different for everyone? It can be a very frustrating illness/disability and I find that the more I focus on wondering 'why me?' the more frustrated I get because there are no answers.

    Am interested to see what other people think (though trying not to hope for a scientific breakthrough that will explain it all - I'll only be disappointed!!!)

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
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    250

    Re: what triggered anxiety/depression?

    Hey hey!

    In order:
    Divorce age 4 I remember feeling numb & quiet at school.
    Death of step dad age 10 (cant remember when mum & Vin married)
    Brother & sister moved away, hardly saw them again (didn't fit in new family?)
    Moved away to live with 2nd step dad who hated me age 10
    Bullying at school started age 11ish & never stopped as they found my weaknesses & enjoyed laughing at my crying every day. Felt like no escape!
    Kicked out of school age 15. had to go to Christian School, but I had lost my faith & I didn't "fit".
    Sister got pregnant age 15. (17 for her) I got attached to the baby, she gave it away after a couple of weeks due to depression & govt interference.
    Sister later had 2 other babies. One went away to the father. One my mum has. She gave them away cause she couldn't cope with depression. I always looked up to her & it was very sad.
    My step dad told me I was no good day after day, I had always prided myself on being well behaved. That was my control. I felt I had no control anymore. I felt worthless. My mum put him first. People at school decided they hated me cause I didn't "feel the same" as they did. Teachers said I was the trouble maker cause I ws the minority. So sad & worthless.

    I moved on with my partner. put it behind me I thought.

    I got bullied at work a few years later. They pressured me into working so hard I did permanent damage to my spine & couldn't keep up anymore. They said they were helping me for legal lies, but they bullied me again. Shrink said I was retraumatised with the bullying. I couldn't walk, trying to keep up with demands from age 21 to age 23. hurt my back so much for them, it was never enough. They fired me after that in 2003. Not well enough to work which is my pride. 2 year legal battle calling me a liar & denying the pain i was in. So depressed. They took me to court again cause they found out I was studying. Trying to rebuild my lfe, tried to take my money off me. I expect them to take me to court again soon...

    That was a long story, wasn't it? You did ask.....

    That was my past. My present is easing off on me. My future is my choice & I will never, ever give up on myself again. Life is worth fighting for. There is a lot of good in life now. That's what made me feel what I feel now, but in recognising it I can see that it doesn't need to be that way anymore. I WON'T LET IT!

    That's enough venting for a while, hey??? When u get hurt, the fear comes, but in working on seeing the beauty of life it can fade into the background eventually, this is what's happening to me a bit at a time!

    Melody

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    191

    Re: what triggered anxiety/depression?

    i put mine down to bullying im affraid, 1 time was when i was 17 i was bullied at school fine when i left school but i thik i got stuck in a rut thsat lasted about 2 yrs agoraphobic n clostraphobic it was the hardest time of my life.

    Then last october my boss was pressuring and i would say bullying me in to driving the work van... but i couldnt cope with the thought of driving the van with everything else i did then at work. (was of work for 2 weeks )

    This time round a dr tried to bully me in to takin an antidepressant for ibs i took in the evening ended up waking with panic attacks and terrified. this is now my 3rd week off.... im trying to keep positive and trying to force myself to do things like i went to the retail park near me on my own.....feeling very tense....i cant wait for my nephew to come home he is almost 2 will be 2 in aug and keeps my mind farely occupied as now im finding it hard when at home to keep my self distracted

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
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    705

    Re: what triggered anxiety/depression?

    My anxiety started when I was sick 2 years ago as I have a phobia of it an since then that's it, can't shake the anxiety and always focusing on if I'm going to be sick.

    Mum said I was always a anxious child and she doesn't know why as my sister and myself were treated the same and my sister is super confident. Apparantly I got worse when my Nan died when I was 12 and I got very clingy as I thought something would happen to my Mum. Then at 16 I got ME and agorophobia and didn't leave the house for 7 years.

  6. #6
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    Nov 2007
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    713

    Re: what triggered anxiety/depression?

    Hi Nanook,

    Siberian Huskies are my fav dogs ever !! And if I had the pleasure of owning one I would also call him Nanook , it reminds me of The Lost Boys lol, My fav old time kids film.

    Anyway, back to your question;

    I can never really control Anxiety attacks/Depression, because I feel that it's triggered by life events and stresses in life. The only time I feel I can predict an attack is going to happen, is when it's my girly monthly time and it can make me quite ill, sometimes so bad I have actually ended up in hospital due to the panic and unbalanced chemicals screwing with my mind. Horrible/scary feelings.
    This of course is to do with hormonal imbalance and I'm looking into surgical procedures for that.

    Other than this,.. as said my Anxiety/Depression I feel is triggered by what happens in my life.

    Why I am the way I am, is because I believe it runs in my family. I know it does too.

    I do find that exercising alleviates stress/anxiety and depression and I do this as regulary as possible.

    I wish you well xx
    Last edited by Oceanblue; 05-06-09 at 17:46. Reason: just because
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  7. #7
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    May 2009
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    52

    Re: what triggered anxiety/depression?

    After i lost a parent it started then and ever since its been like this i guess the stress of the event must of flipped a switch.I cycle alot to help with getting rid of the early signs of a panic attacks i have often.

  8. #8
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    Re: what triggered anxiety/depression?

    It runs in my family. My dad was diagnosed anxiety depression
    I had an anxious mum when I was little as I had a heart condition.
    I was an anxious child. My hair fell out when I was due to start school.
    I had alcoholic parents.
    My brother died when I was 12
    I was abused
    I was bullied
    I spent my adult life in and out of depressions until I was diagnosed with bipolar
    Any one of the above!
    However.......now I am on the road to recovery (I hope!) my anxiety is by no means gone but I am achieving things that have been on hold for what seems like forever. My depression is held at bay by my meds and challenging my thoughts, and I believe the future may be bright

    Hapyone
    xx
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    I've been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.
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  9. #9

    Re: what triggered anxiety/depression?

    Here goes...
    • Very anxious and timid from a very young age due to my parent's abusive relationship. Terrified of my father
    • Difficulties at school. Despite being very able I ended up not going at all for last 2 years thus no qualifications
    • As a teenager my parents divorced and I moved from Liverpool to Derby. Became very isolated.
    • Learned to cope /mask my anxiety to some extent and married and had two fantastic children
    • My wife died of cancer when children were 4 and 2 years old. Really difficult times but kids relied on me which in it's own way helped me through my own difficulties
    • Somehow got the courage to go to university at the age of 40. Managed to cope with increasing anxiety for 3 years but fell at final hurdle. Was on course for a 1st but just could not get through final 3 months.
    • Found work DWP and did well initially but found my anx problems getting more severe. Came to a head when I filled in an application form for a promotion which was virtually nailed on that I would get - i just couldn't bring myself to hand the completed form in.
    • Downhill from there with anxiety through the roof and onset of associated depression. Lots of time off work and eventually my contract terminated.
    • And here I am today - not working, on my third lot of meds, had two courses of CBT and still feel like I am fighting a losing battle. I live in hope that things will improve soon as I feel so bloody useless.
    Graham

  10. #10

    Re: what triggered anxiety/depression?

    ??? This is just self pity, Makes me very sad for you

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