Worry over the worry. Will it stop?

[MandySlade]

Hi guys. I'm new here (you can see my long winded intro/background in the introductions forums). Lately I've been worrying a lot about my health anxiety itself. I'll go for hours obsessing over certain diseases/symptoms/cancer causes.. etc.. and then when I've exhausted myself I start worrying -about- the worry. Once I talk myself into stopping the thought process of obsessing over my health I start thinking "wow, you really ARE crazy. look what you do to yourself". Also, lately I've started to have health anxiety DREAMS, which has never happened before. I've had hypochondriasis/health anxiety since my preteen years (I'm 30 now) but it's never been this bad. I find myself waking up thinking "if you're DREAMING about diseases/symptoms it's really never going to end". I'm scared that it's so far rooted I won't ever shake it. At this point it doesn't even seem possible. It's become so much of "who I am" that I really don't know what's left if I "stop". I don't WANT this to be my entire personality and I'm scared that's what is happening or has already happened.

Anyone else have these thoughts? Anyone ever been "real bad" and got "better"? I think I need to hear from people who've gotten past it, but I'm having a hard time finding any.

[j2]

Many of the people who have got past it have moved on from this board (God bless them for their recovery). I like to think that I have ups and downs and the downs are very low. I don't dream about diseases but I often wake up in a panic and immediately starting thinking about diseases. There is hope as many have gotten better. For me it is more about not fighting and letting it pass than thinking I will be cured. Anyway, don't ever hesitate to post and there are lots of good books out there on coping. Lastly, never google.

[ForOurFuture]

I think it is natural that you may dream a dream that contains HA. I know I have. I think that it is the way the brain copes with the thoughts and files them away. At the end of the day they are your thoughts and that is all they are THOUGHTS. I sometimes think I could tear my brain out if I could get a replacement. Once you come to terms that this is how it is and that the problem is HA then you can try to live with it rather than fight against it. I don't know if I will ever recover as I don't really know if it is possible.

[T89]

I know how you feel about health anxiety being deep rooted. I almost feel like it's who I am now and,like you, I worry about what I would be left with if I stopped worrying all the time. It seems to define who I am right now I'm guessing the dreams are just a continuation of what you have been feeling during the day. Perhaps you're not resting properly because of all the worry and so these thoughts are creeping into your sleep.

I don't really feel able to offer any advice here because I feel the same way you do but sometimes it's nice to take comfort in the fact that you are not alone.

Feel better soon