Hi to everyone, I won't say my name but basically I suffer with social anxiety centred around choking, so when in a 'people place' my attention goes to my throat and I swallow alot to try suppress tension, when I feel tension winding up it automatically goes away when I swallow-but never for long.
When my mouth gets dry I still can't stop swallowing but I try do it less frequently. I drink a bit but I can't bear to have people hear me gulp water. Even if there's no one around I still think about swallowing more than normal, I'm not even sure what normal attitude to swallowing is now but I suppose nobody else thinks about it at all. I get neck pains sometimes and the back of my throat always looks sore.
The tension in my throat sometimes causes me to choke which scares people. It's like an electrical impulse and I feel fragile after it happens but also strangely relieved.
Contributing factors to this problem are:
1) Constant daydreaming, a fantasy life, make-believe existance
2) Can't stand moisture on my body that includes 'down there' which I used to vigourously dry everytime I used the bathroom, can't tolerate sweat or saliva either though I never really had a problem with them THAT much
3) Isolation for years starting when I used to bunk off school with or without a friend, daydreaming to fill up the time and preferring to be on my own in my WAY better fantasy life
Things that make it better are:
1) NOT thinking about it, its difficult-but eliminating the thought seems to be effective. Even being on this forum increases it when it should be therapeutic because I'm pandering to it.
2) Bathing, I seem to forget it when taking a soak
3) Traumas such as heartbreak, arguments and illness seem to push it out of my mind but thats not really a 'solution'!
I would say exercise and massage but they don't have much result, exercise seems to make it a bit worse at times as it makes my bones crack but it improves focus. I also do affirmations, cosmic ordering, praying to refresh my mind.
I've been on Prozac for a week, usual side effects: trouble sleeping, weight loss, no sex drive and almost impossible to climax, yawning, dilated pupils and nausea but thats gone now.
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