So scared, what's wrong with me?

[andypee]

Hi again guys,

I am now terrified that i might have ME. Does anyone know how long it takes to develop? I am utterly terrified as i play drums in a fairly busy band and it is my ENTIRE life.

If you have read my previous posts you'll know i have been suffering from anxiety over the last few months. My obsession has now turned to ME, everytime i have a muscle ache i get angry, and im terrified of ever feeling tired, so much that i force myself to stay up as long as possible and do as much exercise as i can to try and prove i dont have ME or CFS.

I have been prescribed citalopram 10mg, but i'm still not convinced it is all caused by anxiety.

My head is all over the place, and it feels my life is passing me by.

Andy

[Wee-Mee]

so much that i force myself to stay up as long as possible and do as much exercise as i can to try and prove i dont have ME or CFS.

You're obviously gonna be tired more if you are deliberating staying up..AND being tired alters how one thinks anyways..no one can really be rational when they are exhausted. Love,that isn't good.

I used to play drums and I tell you,my muscles ached like a b***h and I was only doing it as a hobby,not in a band. Have you seen how energetic drummers can be? I am almost certain that it is all down to you actually being energetic as a drummer! I know how it is having something in your head though.. I have it myself :(

xxxxxx

[rosepetal]

Living 24/7 with anxiety is tiring in itself.

[agent orange]

yes it is, i'm struggling with that too.

[andypee]

cheers for replying guys, i know it's silly i did a 3 week tour of the UK in april and survived just fine,

but it's the latest disease in my head whilst im trying to figure out whats wrong with me... :(

[andypee]

hey guys, just an update,

in my previous threads i mentioned id been to see a consultant GP for second opinion, he took some blood as he suspected a glandular fever like illness, sure enough he was right i had caught epstein barr virus (which i know is as common as lettuce), he said i had it 2 months ago, when i 1st began to feel ill i became extremely anxious about it, y'know leukaemia, lymphoma the whole lot. i was also diagnosed as having Generalized anxiety disorder by my regular GP, i am so confused, does this mean i still feel bad because of something like CFS? or anxiety?

i dont know what to do next to feel better... :(

[andypee]

another terrible day so far,

i watched some videos about CFS earlier and now i can't stop crying, even though i can almost rule myself out with some basic online questionnaire, why do i feel this is going to be the end of me and my life i love so much? also i fear that if i get any more anxious/down about this i could bring on CFS from that.

i'm not a fan of me right now :( :(

[LisaLisa]

another terrible day so far,

i watched some videos about CFS earlier and now i can't stop crying, even though i can almost rule myself out with some basic online questionnaire, why do i feel this is going to be the end of me and my life i love so much? also i fear that if i get any more anxious/down about this i could bring on CFS from that.

i'm not a fan of me right now :( :(

Oh Andy I really feel for you and the way you are feeling. That horrible depression and anxiety feeling of sadness and hopelessness is very convincing... ihate it.

But honestly its just a wacky out of synch emotional reaction because your bodys recovering from your virus and your GAD is making you think the worst so making you anxious and think that there is an answer to find. Honestly there isnt.....there is nothing wrong other than your emotions are ' wired up' wrongly just now

and it would most likely help to not give those emotions an awful lot of attention right now because they are inaccurate for the reality of your situation

Can you say to yourself that you will consciously give yourself a break from worrying for a few days ? I find when i do this it breaks the cycle and then it gets easier again...its like being strict withyourself and deliberately not thinking about your 'problem' ...it works honestly

Lisa
xxxxx