is this how the rest of my life will be? a daily struggle with anxiety,fear & panic?

[Blot]

Guys, I need to talk,to let my feelings be known to folk who understand this condition. I have woken up this morning AGAIN with that familiar foe called dread which then grows into a little anxiety, causing my chest to feel "tight",tingly & my heartrate to be faster. I then progress to fear as all the thoughts of my health whiz around my tired mind. Is this just anxiety or is it my heart? will I spiral into a panic attack? is this just panic or is it something more sinister? As I think these thoughts I become more anxious & afraid. My partner says that I am becoming selfish in my attitudes & I recognise it too but how do I explain that all my selfish behaviour is directly related to my fears,phobias? I am short tempered, irritable - not a pleasant person to be with at the mo.I read some of the members stories on this site, recognising some of my symptoms but also then obsessing on heart problems.please please somebody out there communicate with me. I did post a message 2 days ago with no response from anyone which makes me feel really alone....

[MOJO]

Hello Blot I'm sorry you are having such a bad time. I know how you feel as I have GAD and wake up every day with it straight away. I have had this for about 8 months badly. There have been better days though sometimes although it is always lurking there! I too worry about my symptoms, often heart related. I have had a lot of these feelings for so long that I'm sure there can't be anything wrong as I wouldn't still be here to tell the tale!
Have you ever had your heart checked out just to reassure you? I'm sure that it is all down to anxiety.
Sorry that no one replied to your last post. It makes you feel very alone when you just want a bit of contact even online and nobody answers.
I'm sure that you will get some more replies now when people realize how bad you are feeling. I have always had lots of support on the many occasions I have posted here feeling really desperate.
Hope you manage to calm down a bit soon. xx

[pollyanna]

Hi Blot

im so sorry that you havent had a response to your post and feel so alone.. but you are still posting and expressing yourself which is good.
Anxiety and its many many symptoms is hard to understand and get your head around .sometimes you think you have cracked it and then bam a new thought or symptom appears, and you get confused and frustrated and feel that you are back at the begining. But, it does get better, when we are in this anxiety state/zone, we are super sensitive, ( mood swings , irritable etc) and also we are superaware of what our bodies are doing, even the stuff that is involuntary like breathing we become superaware, when in reality breathing takes care of itself without us even having to think about it.
When we dont understand what is happening to us ourselves, it must be much more difficult for the people we love or live with, and who we rely on to support us to understand.
I know things are very difficult to deal with right now, but it will get better, personally i have found that when you give these thoughts, (because thats all they are) less importance in your life they dampen down, they may not go away completely but you can cope with them and still live an enjoyable life, i have found the more i accept my situation, anxiety and all, it gives it less power over me, i feel more in control. where you are just now, you will be thinking that you will never reach that point, but you will...
and lots and lots of people have been where you are and have come through the other side
there are lots of tools we can use to help us on our way, medication, meds, cbt counselling. relaxation therapies, whatever it is that works for us we can use and move forward again..

Never feel you are alone,, you can pm me anytime or post on here,
Although i know its hard, with all the 'what ifs' keep looking forward.

be kind to yourself, take care and let us know how you are getting on..


best wishes

P x

[bingley]

Hi, I used to worry about my raceing heartbeats thinking I was going to have a heart attack. but now realise that it was anxiety. Rest assured your heart is the strongest toughest muscle in your body. I have stopped drinking coffee (have calmomile tea instead) which has helped loads. Have you been checked by your doctor? He/she might be able to prescribe some meds that will lessen your anxiety and inprove your mood. Also I really reccommend reading Dr Claire Weeks books (availible on the no more panic shop), they are brill at expaining and helping you to cure your anxiety. You are not alone in feeling the way you do, so many of us have the same awful sensations. You dont have to live with this forever, please please read Dr Weeks books, they have brought me so much comfort, and I now look forward to a happy panic free future . Sending you a big hug of hope

Karen

sorry about my pants spelling x.

[Funky Mum]

Hi Blot, sorry you never got a reply.
I'm new here and new to anxiety/panic. Still not sure which I have but it all started about a month ago. Right now I'm worried about never feeling myself again and 'normal', I said to my husband last night I just worried about it never going away.
I'm fine until I think about worrying or about the fact I had a good day and didn't worry and then it all begins :(
I also get heart palpitations which had me so scared, but reading about them here has helped calm me down when I get them and don't find them quite as scary.
I've been trying to keep myself occupied, although nights are the worse (in fact last night was horrible) and making more of an effort with things to help lift me and in turn hopefully stop the anxiety/panic. I found for me that music was a great mood lifter.
I am very short tempered but I've been trying to stop myself losing it so easily and I do feel that has helped with me losing it so easily - if that makes sense?

Take care

[Blot]

Dear Judy, Pollyanna,Bingley,Funky Mum, thank you to all of you for responding. I really appreciate it. In answer to your comments, I have had my heart cheked out OFTEN even by 2 cardiologists who did many tests all revealed a healthy heart. I have cut out all caffeine inc cuppachinos & chocolate - which I love. I have read Claire Weekes who I think was an amazing woman whose insight into GAD was remarkable esp since it was over 30 years ago. I know that I should not give the anxious thoughts any power & I do try to implement dr weekes plan but this constant battle wears me down. I work part time which I enjoy so much. I really really do want to have quality of life. I have made an appt to see a therapist who does CBT - have you had any success from this therapy?

Whew, it is good to chat to you as you know what I am going through. My partner is very supportive but I am such a tricky customer at the moment that I am not surprised when my partner's patience wears thin! I do feel better since chatting you you all.

I think that the symptoms realted to my heart, chest are the most frightening for me - freak me out!

xxxxThank you again

[pollyanna]

Hi Blot

Glad you felt a bit better talking things through, and another positive thing is making an appointment with a therapist for possible CBT, i wish you all the best with that.As well as seeing a pyschiatrist i have been seeing a pyschologist as well which has been very helpful, in helping me understand certain things, and how to change my thinking..

I have a supportive husband too, and i can be pretty high maintanance at times, but he is still hanging around, so i guess i must have some good points too lol .

keep in touch and let us know how you are doing...


Take care


Pauline x