A bird or a cat?

[Bill]

Immediately a bird flies from its nest, it is on constant alert looking for danger and as soon as it feels threatened it will try to escape.

The cat on the other hand, prowls around the garden looking for birds to pounce on. To the cat, he is the predator and the birds are his prey.

So what are we? I think we're both because we have awareness but also intelligence. Sometimes though our intelligence will create too much awareness because we end up knowing "too much" to worry about which then creates a nervous disposition so we become like a bird rather than the cat because we live our daily lives on constant alert for what we perceive as danger.

Something I just read which triggered a thought...

i got so scared and couldnt control it

Panic creates panic and fear creates fear causing us to live our lives In fear of living. We become the bird, afraid to fly from our nests.

How then do we become the cat once more? The cat virtualy knows no fear.

Therefore, if a bird suddenly became afraid, what would he do? He'd fly away to find safety in his nest but a cat would probably just sit there because he couldn't care less!

So, we experience a panic which really frightens us.....and it's because it really frightens us that it constantly comes back to torment us because it Knows it can frighten us just as a cat knows it will constantly scare birds and force them to fly.

If birds had intelligence, they'd learn how not to be afraid of the cat and outwit it by constantly mobbing it until the tables were turned and the cat became the bird. So how do we use our intelligence to fight panic?

Well, we have to remain rational and learn that panics only keep coming back because we're afraid of the feelings they create.

When we suffer a panic, it really frightens us so from that day on we become the bird constantly looking out for the cat. The cat will only give up when it knows the bird is no longer afraid because it knows how to fight back.

Therefore, it means adopting a new "I don't care" attitude so that we no longer worry about them. If we don't worry about them because we're no longer afraid of them, they don't keep coming back. However, there will always be days when we find ourselves under more stress than usual so we could then experience panicky feelings but once we've learnt to accept them together with learning the causes, they stop controlling our lives.

Speaking of controlling. We shouldn't attempt to control a panic because controlling means tensing up in an attempt to resist the feelings because they frighten us. Let go, let them happen, don't attempt to control them, don't dwell on them or worry about them and don't let them frighten you. Stay calm, carefree and relaxed, and say to yourself "So what, do what you like!".......and you'll soon become the cat once more living freely.

[xBettyBoopx]

Hi Bill

You've turned into Dr Claire Weekes

Only kidding Bill

But, it's the advice that she gives, only written in a different way. She knew exactly what we have to do to get over this, unfortunately not many people can do it. I wish I could shrug my shoulders & say "I don't care, do whatever.........couldn't care less", but how can I do that when my heart is racing & I can't breathe propertly & my legs are shaking & my body is sweating & I feel faint & dizzy & blah blah blah blah? It really is the only way to get better, it takes so much courage to just sit there & let them feelings come & do their very worst!!! It's courage we need, what shop sells that Bill?

Always love your posts young man................ooooooooooo I say, young man!!!!!!!!

Love
Els

[Bill]

I've honestly never read her books Els so I couldn't comment.....but I feel as old as she looks so I don't think I'm a young man sweet Els!

I wish I could shrug my shoulders & say "I don't care, do whatever.........couldn't care less", but how can I do that when my heart is racing & I can't breathe propertly & my legs are shaking & my body is sweating & I feel faint & dizzy & blah blah blah blah?

.........by convincing yourself you Can by installing self-belief, confidence and that other quality you've mentioned....courage. All I can say is if i owned a store that sold courage, I'd give it to you free of charge. Remember the Wizard of Oz? What did they go in search of and how did they find what they were looking for? It was within themselves all the time...they just didn't believe in themselves as I would You young sweet lass.

[melody]

What I believe about the causes of panic attacks

I understand now why I developed panic attacks. They were not trying to harm me, they were trying to save me from my self destructive ways. Habits like:
*Denial of my true feelings
*Avoidance of conflict, causing me to neglect my own needs
*Repressing my instincts, rather than embracing them as a guide to my needs
*Self destructive thoughts

My mind screams NO! It has to change! I ignored my feelings. To afraid to face my fears. I suppress my feelings. In time a panic attack is formed. I hated myself for being so pathetic and weak. I didn’t understand it. Does it make sense to be so cruel to one’s self? Why do we do such a thing, to punish ourselves?

Denial of our true selves and feelings can cause panic attacks. Embracing who we are, learning we have a choice, that we can do what’s right for us and don’t have to do what we are told we “should” do, this can set us free.

Life is never going to be easy. Even people who have never had any issues with mental health concede that. If we can firstly identify our needs, then find ways to fulfill those needs in a healthy way it gets easier. Unfortunately those things in life that we cling onto do have to be faced. Old hurts will have to be resolved somehow. Traumas that have to be faced up to, before we can move on. We can spend the rest of our lives waiting for it to happen again and continue to scare ourselves again and again, until we find a way to face up to our demons.

I am up to finding ways to remember all of my forgotten happy memories, when I was so hard on myself, I blocked good & bad memories away to cope at the time. I am filling my new diary with my forgotten memories when everything seemed ok

Is it really so important to understand why we are so afraid? I'm not so sure any more. I think it's more important to find that realism within ourselves & to be aware that life is a mixture of pleasure & pain. Whatever you think is what is right though

Be happy

Melody

[xBettyBoopx]

I'm gonna click my heels together 3 times & say "I am not afraid, I am not afraid, I am not afraid"

Hey Dorothy, gimme them shoes!!

[solent]

I take a different view.

The bird is in constant threat of it's life. It's on the constant look out for danger and probably has a near death experience at least every few days. As such it becomes immune to fear and treats danger as just a regular every day occurence.

A human is more like the cat. We are rarely in genuine danger. Indeed some people suffer so little fear that they go places like theme parks and car racing where they can experience more of it.

Those of us who have anxiety are simply filling this void of lack of fear with our own self-created fears.

[angelbillk]

Hello Bill

very thoughtful and well put together post . i have read it fully and can really relate to your words . im sure alot of people will understand the idea of this and hope it will help so many people like you always do .

Your words of wisdom and support comes from what you have had to learn through your own experiences which are hard and life will be for oyu for such a long time .

from reading your posts i can see your trapped and dont have an option , life will carry on as normal with Bill being the pin that holds it together but no life changes for him .

The fears you have to face you feel you will face alone but you wont Bill we are here especially me .

Its your turn to be in our arms and hand you through this difficult time in your life .

take care of you angel

[Bill]

Solent,

Interesting points! Made me think!

The bird is in constant threat of it's life. It's on the constant look out for danger and probably has a near death experience at least every few days. As such it becomes immune to fear and treats danger as just a regular every day occurence.

If we lived on the African plains surrounded by lions, crocodiles, snakes etc, would we become immune to fear and treat danger as just a regular every day occurence because of our need to eat and drink to survive or would we stay safe in our huts? If though we did go out hunting, would we go as individuals or in a hunting party? Maybe the safety in numbers has vanished from our modern isolating lives so that more people suffer from anxiety? Curious thought.

some people suffer so little fear that they go places like theme parks and car racing where they can experience more of it.

Do they go to experience fear or for excitement in a safe environment? Wouldn't fear be in a situation where there was a 50/50 chance of not surviving?

Those of us who have anxiety are simply filling this void of lack of fear with our own self-created fears.

Don't most of us have a fear of dying which is why many turn to religion so why then do we focus so much on fear of living rather than enjoying life? Is it because those with confidence are too busy enjoying their lives so they don't dwell on worries?


Angel

All I can say is "Thank You" for caring about me!